The CUNT Rapist

[RapeU]

Chapter Tags: Nosex, Pregnancy
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Sums is pregnant. Alex has another panic attack then decides it's time to tell the truth to Sums, Danielle, and Violet about what she has been hiding.

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Chapter 34 Two Blue Lines

I couldn’t sleep. Guilt and shame gnawed at my insides. My forehead had a tension headache from all the agonizing emotions. As I lay in bed I kept mentally slapping myself over my failure of self control. Every creak and whisper made me shake with fear. I kept asking myself the same questions over and over, what had I done? Would I ever stop myself from losing control like that again? What had I truly become?

Sums rose around 7:00 am and I pretended to be asleep. I couldn’t talk to her or face her. Did I even deserve to have her as a friend? No, I was a monster. A monster that took whatever she wanted and whenever she wanted consequences be damned. I was fooling myself by doing good deeds and patting myself on the back. No amount of good I did would come close to erasing the pile of sins drowning my soul.

Roughly an hour later, Sums quietly came in. Too quietly. Something was wrong. She sat on her bed and I could hear her sniffing like she had been crying. I sat up in bed, “hey, what’s wrong,” I found myself asking. Her eyes were bloodshot red as she blinked away tears. “I’m…” she managed to croak out, but couldn’t finish before she started crying. I sat next to her and rubbed her back the way I knew she liked, all thoughts of my recent sins momentarily forgotten.

“I’m here when you’re ready,” I reassured her. Sums continued to cry. I hadn’t seen her this upset since the day she came home drenched with water after she had been abused. She touched my hand, and I realized there was something in it. I took it from her and felt like melting onto the floor once I saw what it was. Two blue lines. Sums was pregnant.

It felt like the world’s strongest man punched me in the gut after getting a running start. “I,” Sums said when she saw my face and knew I had seen the pregnancy test, “I…don’t know what to do.” She took a ragged breath and continued, “I’m so scared,” she whispered. Everything seemed to stop. Time, the universe, the world. My body felt like a porcelain doll that got dropped from the Empire State Building and shattered onto the pavement below in a million pieces. Suddenly I felt like I couldn’t breathe, but I was breathing hard. “Alex, ALEX!” Sums’ voice seemed so far away, so far…

My eyes snapped open as I regained consciousness. How long had it been? Sums was hovering over me, face riddled with concern and sadness. “Damn it,” I cursed. “Don’t…don’t try to move too quickly,” Sums advised. “You almost hit your head, but I managed to do a controlled fall to the ground.” I sighed, “how long was I out?” Sums snatched her phone and said “Around 10 minutes or so.” Another sigh escaped my lips “I’m sorry.” A wave of confusion washed over Sums’ sad face. “I should have told you to take your medication first then shown you the test results,” she said as she managed to compose herself.

I wasn’t really listening to her trying to shift the blame away from me. She didn’t really know it was my fault, all of it. Jason was supposed to be on the lookout for people too suspiciously drunk. I got him drunk, I took him away from his post, and because of that Sums got something precious taken away from her. Her own body. And just that past night I assaulted someone who I didn’t even know just because we were both alone. Bile threatened to escape my lips, but I managed to hold it down. Negative thoughts flew through my head faster than I could think or process them.

“Hey, ALEX,” Sums nearly shouted. I jumped, “What?” Sums stared at me intently. “You’re hardcore zoned out. I was afraid you were about to have another attack.” I shrugged. “Maybe.” Though I uttered one word, I could tell she caught a glimpse of my depression and self loathing breaking through my mask. “You act like you’re more devastated than I am,” Sums observed, “like you’re the one pregnant instead of me.” She held my hands, “Alex, is there something you’re not telling me?”

The silence after her question stretched into eternity. On multiple occasions I opened my mouth, took a breath, and then sighed unable to voice the thoughts that raced in my head. Sums let the silence between sighs hang there. Patient, kind, loving, a great friend, Sums was everything I wasn’t. I was a monster and I didn’t deserve to have a friend like Sums. After a long while, I finally made a decision.

“Yes,” I whispered, “I’ve been hiding things. Terrible things. I’ve hurt…” A flicker of fear entered Sums’ eyes. “Are you thinking about hurting yourself?” I shook my head and immediately said, “No.” Then I realized that wasn’t true and I was lying more to myself than to her. “Yes,” I whispered and walked back my denial, “but that’s not what I’ve been hiding.” Sums’ eyebrows went up, those perfect beautiful eyebrows, “I don’t understand…” she began. I held up a finger to my lips “you deserve to know the truth,” I said, committing to the decision I had made before the monster inside me tried to convince me otherwise. “But,” Sums visibly cringed at the ‘but,’ “Danielle and Violet need to know the truth too.” Her body relaxed and I could see she felt relief.

“I’ll text them,” Sums offered. I nodded, “Thanks, I’m not really good with telling people I need to talk to them,” I admitted. “They probably both had fun with their boyfriends last night and might be sleeping in,” Sums said. “It is Saturday after all.” I sighed “Damn, this day is going to drag on forever.” She gave me a look that was both sympathetic and something else I couldn’t quite interpret. “Yeah, unless you want to just tell me and if you don’t feel like talking afterwards I can tell Danielle and Violet if you want.” I shook my head. “This is something I need to tell all three of you at once.” Sums gave me a perceptive stare for a few moments, nodded, and said “I can respect that and wait patiently.”
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[RapeU]

Chapter Tags: Nosex, story
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Alex tells Danielle, Violet, and Sums everything.

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Chapter 35 Confession

“Thank you for letting us come over this early,” I said. By now it was 8:30 and we were in Danielle and Violet’s apartment. “I know we all would probably be asleep in bed, but there’s something I need to tell all of you.” Violet yawned, “Sorry,” she cringed, “late night.” Danielle yawned next and the yawns were passed around for a little while before Sums spoke.

“Alex wanted me to say my news first before she tells us what’s bothering her.” She paused, then whispered “I’m pregnant.” Danielle and Violet both blinked sleep out of their eyes and appeared to wake up slightly. Before anyone could say anything, I added. “It is completely and totally my fault.” Everyone turned to look at me, bewilderment prominent on their faces. “Alex…” Sums started to say “…no,” I cut her off. My hands trembled and heart pounded as I uttered the next words “The CUNT rapist is real. And it’s me.”

Anger flashed in Sums’ eyes. “Alex that’s not funny,” she nearly growled. “That’s pretty messed up yeah,” Danielle added with a little flash of anger herself. Violet shook her head, “Alex I think you’ve stressed yourself out too much.” The anger in Sums’ and Danielle’s eyes faded. “You’ve been helping Sums all this time with no one taking care of you,” Violet pointed out. “You gotta take care of you.” “I’m not overstressed,” I said. Sums immediately shot me a disapproving look. “Ok, I am stressed, but I’m not making this up.” I insisted. “Please just listen to me tell you what I’ve done.”

I started from the moment I felt like I snapped after the failed therapy session. Told them about wanting to take whatever I wanted damn the consequences. Briefly stated my first victim was Daniel and told them about the conversation I heard that Monday after I had done it. Explained that the idea of the urban legend came from Daniel trying to tell everyone what really happened and no one believed him. As I continued speaking with shaky voice and occasional tears of shame, all of their faces went through various stages from disbelief, to anger, to confusion, to shock, and any emotion in between.

“So then, the night Sums was taken advantage of,” I continued, “I spotted Jason alone and thought he would be the perfect target.” My body was sweaty, and the words were practically pouring out of my mouth like Niagara Falls. “He appeared to be drunk and I thought I heard him slur his words. I didn’t know this at the time, but he was supposed to be the lookout that night. So when I got him drunk and led him away from the party it removed the safeguard that would have prevented Sums from being assaulted in the first place. That is why it is my fault.”

An uncomfortable silence hung in the air for a few moments as I took a few breaths. “I took Jason on Violet’s bed, then after Stan did what he did, I took him on Danielle’s bed. And last night I did it with someone outside right on campus, and I don’t even know that one’s name.” More silence. Their faces were now hard like iron. “So, I’m the CUNT rapist,” I repeated. “And it’s my fault Sums is pregnant.” More silence. “Someone say something,” I practically begged.

“I don’t know what you want us to say,” Danielle finally spoke after more uncomfortable silence. Sums was still as a statue and giving me an inscrutable look. I sighed, “I’m going to the police to confess. No idea what’s going to happen to me so if you don’t see me again…” “Stop,” Violet said in a soft but commanding voice, surprising everyone. Her eyes looked like she had been thinking intently about something. “Alex, tell me again about Jason that night. Not about what you did once you left the party, but about him at the party.”

In a confused voice I said, “He appeared to be drunk and slurring his words,” I repeated. “But after when I heard the Alpha guy apologize to Sums, someone mentioned he was supposed to be the lookout. That’s when I realized he wasn’t drunk and only thought he was.” “Ok now focus on the immediate moments after,” Violet instructed. “How much did you give him to drink? How much exactly?” I didn’t understand what Violet was getting at, and wondered why she was focused on this of all areas. But I decided to humor her, maybe she could see something the rest of us couldn’t. “I gave him a cup and he downed half of it, then started acting really drunk.”

Violet’s eyes sparkled. “Where did you get the drink?” I felt my face twist with annoyance, but I still continued to humor her. “From the bartender of course, who else would I get it from?” Violet turned to Sums, “Sums, you said Stan gave you a drink. Did you see exactly where he got it from.” She nodded, her words came out through gritted teeth, “Yeah I saw him get it from…” she stopped and put a hand over her mouth in realization. I felt goosebumps crawl on my flesh, knowing the answer even though Sums’ hadn’t said it. Now I could clearly see Violet was onto something.

“Clearly,” Violet said what we all appeared to have understood aloud, “someone wanted Stan and Alex drugged enough to pass out. Alex gave Jason the drink that was meant for her. Stan gave Sums the drink that was meant for him. The question is, why? Who was the bartender that night?” I shrugged, “Some guy in a batman mask. It was heroes and villains if I remember right.” Violet then chillingly said, “Which made a great cover for someone who wasn’t Alpha to pose as a bartender and get unwitting people smashed enough to pass out where anyone could do who knows what to them.”

“Diabolical,” I said and shuddered. “But what does that have to do with me?” I wondered aloud, “I still did terrible things.” “Yes,” Violet nodded, “You absolutely did terrible things.” She made a disgusted face then continued, “and you absolutely should confess.” She stared at me with intense resolve and said, “but do not for one second think that what happened to Sums was your fault. Someone else was pulling some strings and doing something dirty that night,” she pointed out. “If you hadn’t given Jason the drink, someone else would have. In fact,” Violet continued in a grim voice, “it sounds like from what you describe after your first…incident…with Daniel someone drugged the lookout then, too.” Sums continued to sit in silence, stone faced, both part of and separate from the conversation.

“Who would do something like that,” I asked and immediately recognized the screaming irony. Without hesitation Danielle confidently said, “Omega.” I frowned “But Omega wasn’t even active. Their charter was suspended.” Danielle shook her head, “Charter suspension doesn’t matter when you still have members on campus. Trust me, it’s them. Whenever there’s a fire alarm pulled, Omega. Whenever there’s drugs, Omega. Whenever someone puts a stink bomb in the...”

Violet cleared her throat and Danielle, taking it in stride, stopped talking. “We’re getting off track here,” Violet scolded. “The overall point here is, someone else has broken the law.” She turned to me, “You need a lawyer so that you are only charged with the crimes you committed, and not the crimes of others.” I blinked “Wait, would the police do that?” Violet nodded, “They do it all the time. DA’s office will do it too.” Suddenly I wasn’t so sure about Violet's intentions, “Why are you offering to help me with this?” I asked. Violet’s eyes stared at me with significance, “Because you helped me with Danielle remember? You got her to stop bullying Stan.” I understood then what Violet was doing. She appreciated I didn’t implicate her or Danielle in my assault of Stan and this was her way of thanking me. “Thank you,” I said. “I’ll have to make some calls,” Violet stated, “so the best thing to do now is stay right here in this apartment and don’t speak to anybody else about this.”
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[JTCK]

Interesting twist. I didn’t see that coming. Is the whole thing heading toward a happy ending now? I’m not quite sure yet…

[RapeU]

Chapter Tags: Nosex, story
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Alex tells Sums how she really feels about her.

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Chapter 36 Final Feelings

After Violet made the phone calls she needed we all sat in the apartment in silence, scrolling through our phones. I don’t think anyone was truly paying attention to their phone, I wasn’t. It was just something to do to pass the time. Aside from answering Violet’s question, Sums had been uncharacteristically quiet. Not even ambient coughs or sniffs. Thoughts were plaguing me like mad and not even my phone could distract me from them. The thoughts were all about being with Sums. So far she hadn’t ended our friendship. What if I tell her how I feel about her and she does? What if I don’t tell her and I end up spending the rest of my life wondering why I didn’t go for it? After several more “what if” thoughts, I couldn’t bear the uncertainty any longer and decided to just go for it since I had come this far.

“Sums,” I timidly said. She turned to look at me. Her entire expression was guarded and I saw no emotion behind her eyes. “There’s one more thing I haven’t said.” Her eyebrow twitched but for the most part her face remained impassive. I took a deep breath and thought ‘now or never.’ “I’ve thought about you and I…you know…together…” Uuuugh that was so lame, why did I have to sound so lame? Violet cleared her throat, “Danielle,” she softly said. Danielle looked at her questioningly. “Remember we had that thing to do in my room,” Violet said in a purposeful tone. Danielle looked at Sums, then looked at me. “Yeah,” she said in understanding then rose. The pair retreated to Violet’s bedroom. Before they closed the door, Violet said “just yell if either of you need something.” Though I was glad for the privacy of this moment, I was under no illusion that I was truly alone with Sums. They may have been out of the room, but they weren't stupid. I was certain they could hear every word from Violet's room and come in at a moment’s notice if they thought Sums was in danger.

“What I mean to say,” I gathered my words together after they left the room, “is that I’ve wanted to be more than friends for a long time.” Sums looked at me for what felt like an eternity. Flashes of emotions ran across her face, disappearing back into her face being unreadable as quickly as they appeared. Finally, she sighed. “Oh Alex,” she mournfully said, “If only you told me that before Stan.” I swallowed heavily, “Would you have?” She nodded, “Probably, though I don’t have experience with other women.” “I don’t either,” I admitted. “In fact I never thought I was bisexual until I met you.” Sums sighed again. “Alex, I do have feelings for you. Maybe we could have been more than friends.” I felt my heart sink as she continued, “but how can I trust you when you’ve taken what you wanted from people?” Tears formed in her eyes and she asked the next question in a shaky voice “Would you force me to be intimate if I didn’t want it?”

“I’ve,” I paused, “I’ve wanted to take advantage of you,” I admitted. “When you were helping me feel better during my period. And other times.” She blinked and the sheer sadness of her eyes poured out of her soul. “D…di…did…you?” I shook my head, “No, I couldn’t bring myself to do that.” Sums sighed heavily then became silent again. The silence stretched and felt like a marathon until I broke it. “Do you think we could ever…” Sums sighed again, “It’s possible,” she said, “but you will need to be absolutely honest with me.” Her eyes were intense, more intense than I had ever seen her be. “No more big secrets like this. No more hiding things.” I nodded, “That’s fair,” I said with a kernel of hope growing in my heart. “And,” she continued. “You go to therapy. Not just promise you’ll go, not just make an appointment to go, but actually go. And go consistently. Anything you don’t say to me, you say to a therapist and vice versa.”

I felt like the guy from dumb and dumber as I repeated the line from the movie, “So you’re saying there’s a chance?” Sums nodded. “To be perfectly clear,” she said, “the only reason I’m still talking to you now is because you were there for me when I was taken advantage of.” She paused, but her expression remained guarded. “You may have a monster inside you, but you as a whole are not a monster. You seem to be genuinely remorseful.” I nodded, “It’s been eating at me for a long time.”

“I know therapy the first time wasn’t your fault,” Sums said. “You genuinely tried, the therapist was just awful.” I nodded as she continued. “But that does not mean you stop trying. Make an appointment with a different therapist and go. So far you’ve said you would do it but you haven’t.” I shook my head, “I guess I just thought I could control it. As a psychology major I really should have known better,” I admitted. “Yes, you should have,” Sums agreed. “Now, show me you are truly remorseful by finding a therapist and going consistently,” Sums said firmly. “Take full responsibility for your actions and accept whatever consequences come your way,” she said. “After that, I’m open to talking about the relationship between us changing.”

The kernel of hope in my heart grew larger. “I want to make this clear to you, Alex,” Sums continued with conviction. “This is not a guarantee I will be with you romantically,” she clarified. “This is just me saying we’ll talk about it after you actively make steps to improve your mental state so that the monster inside of you remains locked in a cage.” I nodded, relief flooding through my body. “So, we’re still friends?” I asked hopefully. Sums nodded, “Yeah, you were with me when I needed someone the most and didn’t want to deal with anybody.” She gave me another inscrutable look, “You may have hurt people and made bad choices, but that doesn’t make you a bad person.”

Her words made it feel like a balloon of nasty feelings got popped in my head. I felt the gross feelings flood downward and fully out of my body. The result was better than I expected. We weren’t together as a romantic couple, but there was a possibility we could be as long as I did my part. I had always thought conditional relationships were stupid, but under the circumstances Sums was being reasonable. “Thank you,” I said with gratitude. “I feel better than I have in months, maybe even years.”

Violet emerged from her room just then, Danielle in tow. “Lawyer is almost here,” she announced. “Also, I agree with Sums” she said, interjecting herself into the conversation. “You made terrible choices, but you confessed when you didn’t have to and are willing to take responsibility for your choices.” Violet gave me a hard stare as she continued, “As long as you continue to work on getting better, we will be friends. If you stop or relapse and refuse any help offered, you’ll be dead to me.” “Same for me,” Danielle added. A knock at the door ended the conversation. The lawyer had arrived.
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The story is headed towards a satisfying ending. She'll experience some consequences of her actions of course, but overall things will work out for her. Alex is also telling this specific story in her universe. You'll know who she is talking to in the last chapter.

[RapeU]

Chapter Tags: Nosex, story
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Alex and a lawyer have a chat.

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Chapter 37 The Lawyer

Violet opened the door and smiled. “Thanks for coming so quickly.” The lawyer had a polite smile of her own on her face. “No problem, always happy to help,” she replied. I had a feeling she enjoyed helping Violet because it paid well, not out of charitable goodness. “Who is the client?” Violet gestured to me “This is Alex. She’s a student at Cook College.” As the lawyer stepped into the room I saw she was dressed like she was in a courtroom. Professional, neat, brown hair in a simple ponytail, and fierce green eyes.

“Regina Rowan,” she offered her hand to me and I shook it. “Great to meet you,” I said, “I’ve done some bad things…” I continued thinking it best to get everything out of the way. Regina held up a hand. “Wait,” she advised then looked at Sums, Danielle, and Violet. “Since I’m representing Alex, I need to talk to her first alone. Once I assess the situation I’ll talk to the rest of you if needed.” I shot a questioning look at Violet. Violet gave me a reassuring nod, “It’s ok,” she said. “Go with her in Danielle’s bedroom and tell her what you told us.”

I told Regina everything, minus the Danielle and Violet helping me with Stan part. Before I got to the assault part, Regina seemed disinterested, like the case would involve some stupid college drama. As I got further in, Regina’s body language shifted significantly. She hung onto my every word, interrupting me only when she had a brief clarifying question. When I got to the part about Omega possibly being the culprit like Danielle had alleged, Regina encouraged me to avoid speculation and only tell her what happened firsthand. When I finally finished I felt like I had just run a marathon, completely exhausted.

“Violet was right to call me,” Regina said. “You did do terrible things and there will likely be consequences.” I gulped and nodded. “But,” she smiled, “what you witnessed is an even worse crime that’s clearly ongoing.” Her thumb rolled on her fingers in what appeared to be an excited tic. “So, this is how I see things play out,” she said. “As soon as you are ready we will go to the Cook Police Department and let me do most of the talking.”

I frowned, “Wait, wouldn’t it be better to go to campus police since it happened on campus?” Regina shook her head with a look of sadness in her eyes. “Campus police have very limited jurisdiction.” Her eyes brightened, “they can’t offer you immunity, which is what I’m going to be aiming for. More than likely you’ll get it.” I blinked in surprise. “Wait, you mean I might not go to jail or prison?” Regina nodded, “You are confessing of your own free will and appear to be genuinely remorseful for what you have done.” She gave me a warm, reassuring smile, “that matters. A lot. Combine that with knowledge of an even worse crime affecting countless people and the case for immunity is strong.”

It felt like another balloon of gunky feelings popped in my head with the bad feelings pouring out of my body. “Do I deserve immunity though?” I found myself asking aloud. Regina blinked, taken aback. After she recovered from her surprise at my question, she answered, “Alex, we all make mistakes. Some worse than others, but it sounds like you decided to turn things around before it became too late. Because of this, yes you do deserve immunity.” Despite her confidence, I still felt unsure I deserved it. “However,” Regina continued, “I would strongly suggest you get professional psychological help so that you don’t fall into this rabbit hole again.” I nodded. “I keep saying I will but never get around to it. Will going to therapy help?” “Absolutely,” Regina said, “in multiple ways. With the right therapist you’ll feel better mentally and it further strengthens the immunity possibility.”

“What about the university? Will I be suspended like Stan,” I swallowed and felt like my stomach had rocks in it, “or worse, expelled?” Regina shrugged, “That I don’t know. It depends on how strict the university wants to be.” I felt sweat form on my brow. “The most likely outcome is they will start an administrative investigation. Consequence wise they will likely put you on probation depending on how the drugging case goes.” I let out a breath I didn’t realize I had been holding. Probation wasn’t so bad, it meant I got to at least continue my studies. “But,” she continued, “they could also decide to suspend or expel you.” The relief I felt faded away and was replaced with anxiety. “Would you be able to help me with the university?” Regina nodded, “I’ll do my best to advocate for probation with the condition that you regularly go to the university counselling center.” She gave another reassuring smile, “I’m confident I will succeed in this endeavor.”

“The therapy condition might actually make me go to therapy,” I reflected. I then told her about the bad experience with the last therapist at the university counselling center. Regina cringed and looked irritated. “Yeah, that’s bad. I’m going to help you on that end as well.” I blinked “Wait, really?” Regina nodded, “Oh yeah. There’s a strong case that if the therapist had listened to you, you wouldn’t have committed those crimes in the first place.” My eyes widened in shock. “I want to make it clear,” Regina said in a serious tone, “that does not excuse your actions and we would in no way frame it that way.” Her look softened, “I’m confident when the university hears about that they will be willing to quietly settle and give you a small lump sum for damages.”

“Is there any way to prevent this getting out to the general public?” I didn’t care about the public knowing, the question was more about my parents knowing than anyone else. Regina shook her head, “No. I’m good, but I’m not that good. You know how things are at high school and colleges? When there’s something that’s a total secret, everyone generally finds out.” I nodded and sadly said, “yeah, that makes sense.”

After the lawyer and I had our chat, she talked to the others individually. While she talked to the others I used that time to reflect. I hadn’t talked to my parents or my brother in weeks, aside from occasional texts confirming I was fine. As much as I didn’t want to, I needed to tell them what I had did before they found out through others.

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I did not plan to circle back to the bad therapist, but it seemed like something a lawyer would pounce on if given the chance to. It also provides a strong believable story on why Alex has less severe consequences than someone else who isn't remorseful, wasn't blown off by a therapist, and all the other circumstances surrounding Alex.

[RapeU]

Chapter Tags: Nosex, story
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Alex tells J.J. and her parents about her sins.

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Chapter 38 Family Confession

As Regina spoke to Danielle in her bedroom I decided to call J.J. first. My phone felt impossibly heavy in my hand, like it was made of lead instead of plastic and glass. How could I tell my twin brother I was rapist? He always told me he would have my back no matter what, but would he really even in this situation?

My thumb pressed down before I could talk myself out of it. The phone rang once, twice, three times before J.J.'s voice came through, casual and carefree. “What be up?” His familiar silly greeting made my throat tighten. I could hear music and laughter in the background. It sounded like he was at a party. “J.J. I,” I started then stopped. My voice sounded wrong, strangled and high. I cleared my throat. “I need to tell you something. Something important.” I heard the background noise fade and he asked “Are you ok, Alex?”

I shook my head, then mentally slapped myself because he obviously couldn’t see me shake my head. “No,” I admitted. “I did something.” I paused. There was no background noise now. “Something bad,” I finished. “Did you get caught cheating like that one time in Spanish class?” I sighed. He always loved to poke at the one time I tried to cheat for a high school exam. A classmate saw me pull a paper out from my pocket and whispered loud enough for everyone to hear that I was cheating. I quickly put the paper back in my pocket and didn’t dare take it out again.

“No worse.” I paused then just let the words flow out of my mouth, “I assaulted people. Sexually.” Silence stretched between us, elastic and terrible. When he finally spoke, his voice was strange, distant, like he was talking from the bottom of a well. “Are you joking?” “I wish I was,” I replied with a cracked voice. I felt the first hot tear slide down my cheek. “I'm going to the police to confess. I just...I needed you to hear it from me first.” More silence. I could hear his breathing, quick and shallow like he'd just run a sprint.

“I took advantage of guys who were drunk and vulnerable,” I said, breaking the silence. “And I indirectly caused my roommate's rape because I drugged someone who was supposed to be watching out for her. I knew what I was doing was wrong, but I kept doing it.” “What the actual fuck, Alex?” J.J. broke his silence. “What the hell possessed you to do something like that?” I sighed, “I wanted it and no one would give it to me willingly so…” The unfinished sentence hung in the air for a moment. “I don't understand,” J.J. said, his voice hardening. “How could my sister be a…a…” he couldn’t finish the thought. “Predator,” I finished for him. “Something in me just snapped,” I admitted. The explanation sounded hollow, pathetic. “I know it's inexcusable. I'm not trying to excuse it.”

“Damn it Alex,” he scolded “why didn’t you get help? You’re a fucking psychology major you should know better!” That stung, but he wasn’t wrong. “I know,” I admitted. There was a long pause. “You gonna tell Mom and Dad about this?” My stomach felt like it was tied in knots. “I need to, but I really don’t want to. Can…can you tell them for me?” “No.” His response was immediate, firm. “No way. This is something you need to do yourself, Alex. I can't be the messenger for this.” I sighed, “Sorry, I shouldn’t have asked you to do that. You’re right. I’m just…I’m scared.” “You should be,” he said, but there was no malice in it, just a raw honesty that cut deeper than anger would have. “What you did…it's serious, Alex. It's really fucking serious.” “I know.” I could barely get the words out around the lump in my throat. A heavy sigh came through the phone. “But you're still my twin sister,” he said finally. “I don't understand what happened or why, but I'm not going to abandon you.”

Relief crashed over me so powerfully that I almost dropped the phone. My breath came in short, shuddering gasps as I tried not to break down completely. “Thank you,” I managed to choke out. “Don't thank me,” he said, his voice thick. “I'm not saying what you did wasn't completely fucked up. It was.” He paused, and I knew he was choosing his words carefully. “And I'm not saying I'm not angry or disappointed or confused as hell. I am. But we're family, and that means something.” I nodded, forgetting he couldn't see me. Again. “I'm going to get help,” I promised. “Therapy, counseling, whatever it takes.” “Good," he said firmly. “You need it.”

We lapsed into silence, but it felt calmer now, like a weight had been lifted off my chest. But there was more weight remaining. My parents and then the police. Still, less weight made me feel slightly better. My breathing slowly steadied. “I should let you go,” I said finally. “I still need to call Mom and Dad.” “That's not going to be easy,” he warned. “But I'll talk to them afterward. Just text me when you’re done.” He paused, “and Alex?” “Yeah?” I answered. “I meant what I said,” he said with resolve, “I'm not going to abandon you. Whatever happens next, you're not alone.”

After we hung up, I sat motionless, the phone clutched in my trembling hand. The conversation had gone better than I'd dared hope, but that only made the next call loom larger. J.J. might have promised his support, but my parents were a different story. Would they see me as the monster I'd become? Or would they still see their daughter beneath the terrible things I'd done?

Regina and Danielle then emerged from her bedroom. “Ok,” Regina said. “Meet with me Monday morning at 8 am in my office.” She gave me her card with the office number and address on it. “I will brief you on what to do and say when we go to the police.” I blinked. “Wait, we aren’t going now?” She shook her head. “Typically police officers who handle assault cases work weekday shifts. You need to speak to a proper police detective who will handle the case directly.” I nodded, “Ok that makes sense.”

After Regina left, Danielle retreated back to her room to give me privacy for my phone call with my parents. I hesitated for a long time. Telling my parents felt like an impossible task. I pictured my mother's face, always so proud of her “good girl,” and my father with his firm belief in right and wrong. Would they see me as their daughter after this, or just as the monster I'd become?

My parents weren't perfect, but they'd always been fair. Do well in school, be respectful, tell the truth, and help others. The Turner family values, my father called them. Simple rules for being a decent human being. Rules I had shattered beyond recognition. I settled back on the couch, my legs suddenly too weak to support me. My phone felt slick in my sweaty palm as I pulled up my parents' contact. My thumb hovered over the call button for several agonizing seconds before I finally pressed it. Each ring sent a jolt of adrenaline through my system, making my heart race faster.

“Alex” My mother's voice burst through the speaker, warm and happy. “We haven’t talked in a while, what a lovely surprise! How are you, sweetheart?” The familiar endearment made my throat constrict painfully. This might be the last time she called me that. “Hi, Mom,” I managed, my voice thin. “Is Dad there too? I need to talk to you both.” “Of course, let me get him.” I heard her call for my father, the rustle of movement, the murmur of their voices as she presumably explained I was on the phone. Then my father's deep voice joined hers. “Hey kiddo,” he said “Everything ok?”

I closed my eyes, tears already gathering beneath my lids. Then, I told them everything I told J.J. My parents were quiet for a long time, so long that I had to check multiple times to see if the call was still connected. It was. Finally, my dad spoke first, “What you did was wrong, Alex,” his voice firm but not cold. “Terribly wrong.” “We raised you better than this,” my mother added through audible tears. Her words stabbed into me like knives, each one finding a vulnerable spot with perfect accuracy. My shoulders tensed so hard they ached, my body bracing for rejection. “I know," I whispered. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.”

“Why?” The question came from my father, simple and direct. “What could possibly have driven you to do this?” I tried to explain the same way I did with J.J., the explanation sounding just as hollow as before. My father cleared his throat. “Alex, what you did…there's no excuse for it. You know that, right?” “Yes,” I said, my voice raw. “I know.” “But,” he continued, “the fact that you're confessing and facing the consequences, it shows the daughter we raised is still in there somewhere.” A sob escaped me, half relief, half shame.

“There's something else,” I said, wiping my face with the back of my hand. “Something you should also know.” My heart hammered so hard I felt dizzy. “I have feelings for my roommate. Romantic feelings. She's a woman.” The silence this time felt different, like this news was less of a blow than the first. I held my breath, waiting.

“Well,” my father said after the pause, “you know that as Christians we don’t agree with homosexuality. But you are an adult now and can make your own decisions regarding this issue.” I blinked, taken aback by the relative mildness of his response. I'd expected anger, condemnation, Bible verses. “Whoever you decide to be with, male or female, we'll support you and your partner,” my mother added, her voice still thick with tears but steadier now. “Even if we don't fully understand it or agree with the lifestyle.” Tension drained from my body so rapidly I nearly slumped over. My parents weren’t disowning me, they even said they would support me. I almost couldn’t believe it.

The conversation continued for a while. They asked questions I couldn't answer, offered support I didn't feel like I deserved, and expressed emotions that ranged from anger to sadness to reluctant acceptance. Through it all, I felt the physical toll of the confession drain from my body in waves. By the time we said goodbye, I was emotionally drained, completely wrung out. But beneath the exhaustion was a tiny flicker of something I hadn't felt in a long time: hope. Hope that I could be redeemed.
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[RapeU]

Chapter Tags: Nosex, story
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Alex and Sums have a conversation after the phone calls with her family.

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Chapter 39 Friendship Love

I sat motionless on the couch, staring at nothing. My body felt like a hollow shell, emptied of everything except exhaustion. Time seemed to stretch and compress in strange ways. Had I been sitting here for minutes or hours? The light through the windows hadn't changed, but something in me had shifted. It wasn’t healing, not yet, but perhaps the first acknowledgment that healing might someday be possible.

A floorboard creaked behind me. I didn't turn around. I knew who it was from the lightness of the footsteps, the familiar rhythm of her breathing. Sums. She moved around the couch, her bare feet soundless on the carpet. In my peripheral vision, I saw her hesitate for just a moment before sitting down beside me. Close, but not touching. Then, to my surprise, she reached out and took my hand.

Her skin was warm against my cold fingers. I looked down at our joined hands, unable to meet her eyes. Her thumb traced small circles on my palm, a gesture so gentle it made my throat tighten with unshed tears. “I heard you confess to your family,” Sums admitted, her voice soft. “That took courage.” I shook my head, still not looking at her. “Doesn’t feel like courage.” “It was,” Sums said firmly. “You chose to confess when you could have kept hiding. You’re choosing to take responsibility by going to the police to confess on Monday. If that’s not courage, what is?”

The question hung in the air. I finally raised my eyes to hers. There was no hatred there, no revulsion. Just a steady gaze that seemed to see straight through me to all the broken pieces inside. My body instinctively leaned toward her, seeking the comfort of her warmth despite the guilt that weighed on me like a stone. “I’m surprised everyone is so supportive of me,” I whispered. “Even you. You should hate me for what I did. For what I caused to happen to you.” I paused, “You should be pissed at me.” I certainly was pissed at myself for letting the monster inside go so far.

Sums was quiet for a long moment, her fingers still moving against mine. “I was pissed,” she finally said. “But if I hold onto the anger, hold onto the hurt, I can’t function. It takes too much energy.” Her eyes became haunted. “That party wasn’t the first time I was assaulted,” she admitted. “Anyone else would have denied what they did if it came up.” She squeezed my hand. “But you didn’t. You admitted it.” I nodded, “It was what you said that day when you yelled at the frat guys that tugged at my conscience.” Sums smiled. “And that’s why I’m supportive of you. Because you did something horrible, but you’re holding yourself accountable for it.”

I sighed, “I’m still not sure I deserve the support,” I admitted. “It was partially my fault you were assaulted by Stan.” Sums shook her head, “You’re not the one who drugged me. You were not in the room with all those guys.” A tear slid down her cheek. In a haunted voice she continued, “they made their choices just like you made yours.” She wiped the tear off her cheek with her free hand.

“I still don’t understand why you did it,” Sums continued. “Part of me is unsure too,” I said. “Mostly it was about power and control, but some of it was also because I wanted sex but thought I never could get any.” Sums nodded, her eyes sad but not condemning. “You need to work this out in therapy, so you can understand it so it never happens again.” “I know,” I said. “I'll go. I promised my parents. I promise you. Regina thinks that therapy will be part of a condition with the university if I’m not expelled.”

“Good.” She shifted slightly, turning more fully toward me on the couch. “Alex, I want to be clear about something.” She took in a deep breath and slowly let it out. After another breath she said, “I'm not ready for a romantic relationship. Not with you, not with anyone. I need to focus on healing right now.” Despite having expected this, the words still stung. I nodded, trying to hide the hurt I knew I had no right to feel.

“But,” she continued, “I won't abandon you either. We'll face whatever comes next together, as friends.” She emphasized the last word, making sure I understood the boundary she was setting. “I don't deserve your friendship,” I said honestly. “Maybe not,” she agreed, surprising me with her candor. “But you have it anyway. That's the thing about forgiveness and redemption, it's not about what people deserve.”

The simplicity of her statement hit me like a physical blow. My breath caught in my throat, and I had to look away to compose myself. When I looked back, Sums was watching me with steady eyes that held no pity, only a quiet resolve. “Thank you,” I managed to say. Sums nodded, “The road ahead isn't going to be easy,” she warned. “The police, the university, therapy, all of it is going to be hard, Alex. Really hard.” “I know,” I acknowledged. “And I'll be there for you through it,” she softly said, “but not if you don't follow through. Not if you don't do the work.” Her voice was firm now. “I need you to understand that.” “I do,” I promised. “I won't let you down again.” Sums' expression softened slightly. “I hope not.”

We sat in silence after that, the kind of silence that feels alive with things unsaid. I tried to memorize the feeling of her hand in mine, the pressure of her thumb, the way her breaths came in shivery intervals and then steadied, and the way her eyes looked at me. Her eyes were filled with forgiveness and love. Not the kind of love that I wanted, but it was the kind I was happy to have. And perhaps someday, when Sums was ready, our friendship love would become something more.
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[RapeU]

Chapter Tags: The end.
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Alex is telling the story you have been reading to someone.

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Chapter 40 - Now

The ceiling fan whirs softly overhead, pushing cool air around the room. A car passes on the street outside, momentarily drowning out the ambient noise of the house. Alex appears to be less stressed. The worst part of the story has been told. “The police investigated swiftly after I told them what I did,” Alex says, voice no longer shaky and quiet. “Turns out Omega was messing with Alpha to try and destroy their reputation.” She shakes her head, “Instead, Omega destroyed themselves. The university permanently cancelled the charter,” she says with a small amount of uncertainty in her voice. “Or whatever universities do to kick a fraternity out of campus permanently,” she amends.

“What about you,” a soft voice asks. Alex sighs, “I got off light. Sometimes I still feel guilty for that.” She looks at the owner of the soft voice and continues “The university put me on probation with mandatory therapy sessions like Regina predicted. Everyone of course knew I was the CUNT rapist.” Alex cringes whenever she mentions the crude name. Then she picks up the papers from the coffee table.

As she hands one of the papers to Hope, the owner of the soft voice, Alex says “Now you know how we became a family.” Alex pauses for a moment, then continues “The full story this time.” Hope glances at the Cook College acceptance letter in her hand, then back to her mom. “That’s wild,” she says. “I would have never thought you of all people would do something like that.” Alex nods, her eyes and face giving off shame. “That’s why I’m so careful now,” she says as she hands the other Cook College acceptance letter to Precious.

“We will of course support you both if you decide to go to Cook College,” Alex says. Sums nods beside her. “You are both old enough now to make your own decisions,” Sums says. “Just be aware of the crude nickname the college has and about our past.” Sums’ voice turns sad as she continues, “Some of the faculty may still be there and remember us. When people find out you are our daughters, it may be difficult for you socially.”

Hope Turner and Precious Phillips look at each other’s eyes, communicating silently like true sisters. Alex clears her throat. “I never intended to tell you the full story,” she admits. “But when you both said you got accepted to Cook College…” she trails off. “Thanks for telling us the truth, mom,” Hope says, reaching for her mother’s hand. Precious nods, her usual stoic expression softening slightly. “It can't have been easy,” she added. “No,” Alex agrees. "But you deserved to know before you made your college decisions.” She looks at them both, these young women on the cusp of adulthood. “I understand if this changes how you see me.”

The girls exchange another look. Hope speaks first, her voice quiet but firm. “You're still our mom.” She squeezes Alex's hand. “You made terrible mistakes, but you owned them. You got help. You became better.” Precious doesn't reach out physically, but her nod carries equal weight. “Everyone has a past,” she says simply. “Yours just happens to be more…complicated than most.”

Alex's shoulders relax visibly, the remaining tension she's been carrying throughout the telling of her story finally easing. The afternoon light catches on her wedding ring as she absently twists it around her finger. Hope looks at Precious with another one of those silent communications passing between them. Precious gives an almost imperceptible nod in response. “I think,” Hope starts carefully, “we should keep Cook as a backup.” She glances at her sister again, receiving another subtle nod of confirmation. “We're still waiting to hear from other schools. If those don't work out...”

“It's a good school,” Precious adds pragmatically. “Even though it has a crude nickname, they have a strong pre-med program.” She casts her eyes down to the floor. “But, it’s not going to be our first choice. We’ll wait for other college acceptance letters.” Relief flickers across both mothers' faces. Their daughters are processing the information rationally, together, as they've been taught to approach difficult situations. Wordlessly, the family gathers in the middle of the room for a group hug.

“Whatever you decide,” Sums says, “wherever you go, we support you.” “And if anyone ever brings up our past,” Alex adds with unexpected firmness, “you can tell them whatever you like.” Hope leans her head against Alex's shoulder, a gesture so familiar it makes Alex's throat tighten. “I'm proud of you,” Hope whispers. “Both of you. For telling us. For becoming who you are now.” Precious nods in silent agreement.

Someone’s phone buzzes. The embrace ends as everyone checks their phones. “Tina got into the University of Texas at Austin. She invited us to dinner to celebrate,” Hope says as she reads the text. Alex and Sums share a look. “You girls go ahead. We’ll manage our dinner here.” Precious smirks and follows Hope out of the house.

“Regular or roleplay?” Alex asks. Sums thinks about it for a moment. “Roleplay.” The first time Alex’s therapist suggested CNC roleplay, the girls were skeptical at first. But it turned out to be an exciting part of their marriage that simultaneously doubled at improving each other’s mental health. Alex benefited from allowing the monster inside her to come out just enough to be satisfied without doing anything wrong. Sums benefited by healing from past trauma.

“Pick a safe word,” Alex says. Sums ponders for a few moments, then says “redeem.” Alex waits a few moments, then suddenly grabs Sums arms and twists them behind her back. “What are you doing, who are you?” Sums asks. Alex grins “Your stalker. Tonight you are mine.” Sums gasps, “Please don’t hurt me please!” Alex forces Sums into the bedroom where Sums pretends to be a helpless victim while Alex pretends to be the monster she once was. Screams and slaps fill the house as the couple enjoy their taboo fantasies within their life of paradise.
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And that is the conclusion of The CUNT rapist. Feedback is welcome and appreciated. Towards the end I started to run out of steam and had to push through, but overall I am very happy with the way this story turned out. I am curious about what the reader thinks about using present tense in the last chapter. Did it work? Or would it have been better to continue to use past tense?

[Claire]

I read to the end of the Stan-arc, or what I presume to be the end of that story line. So to the end of chapter 26. I will keep reading later but I wanted to give a quick feedback up to this point.

I liked a lot of the buildup to that chapter. Getting the background of Danielle having a history bullying people online was very cool. I also liked Violet actually siding with Danielle and Alex. You could argue that all these characters are maybe a bit too easily on board with raping someone but I don't think it detracts too much from the story.

I also enjoy this theme that Alex not only satisfies her urges by raping people but finds a place to belong in her conspiracy meetings with the other girls. I think that's pretty accurate to how people get co-opted by cults or radical movements. Don't get me wrong, it's really sad that Alex only finds a place where she feels she belongs after finding a bunch of people who share some of her darker impulses. But I think it captures the appeal of cults and radical movements for vulnerable people really well, just on a smaller scale. Or put differently, these three girls are not that far away from meeting in some garage every weekend and Alex starting their meetings with the words: "Ladies, the first rule of rape club is: You do not talk about rape club."

What I was a bit disappointed with was chapter 26 itself. I think you constrain yourself too much by keeping all chapters in this 1,000 to 2,000 words bitesized range. I think that really flattens the emotional impact of the moment here.

You gave us all this buildup before, show us the three of them planning and then... you basically skip the entire execution of the plan and just say it works. Stan is also just another drunk guy just lying there while he gets raped. There is no tension in anything that happens here. I think this chapter needed to be 3 to 4 times as long and show us the execution of the plan. You essentially wrote the setup for a heist story. Technically, what your group of criminals is doing is wrong, but the reader wants to see them succeed anyway because they are more likeable than the guy they are about to punish. They plan and then... everything just works out. That's like watching the first half of Ocean's 11 and then the story just resolves in 5 minutes because everything goes as planned.

I can give you an idea how I think it would be better to write this chapter.

You start at the party. Everything looks fine. The girls are there. Maybe Alex sees some of her past victims there, looking a little hollow. The thought that Stan will look even worse than those guys soon excites her. They try to identify the guy on lookout duty. But there is a problem: It's Violet's ex and they aren't on good terms. He doesn't want to talk to her at all and wouldn't accept a drink from her. They need to improvise. Ultimately, Danielle steps up and takes over for Violet. First obstacle solved.

Alex wants to get Stan to come with her, but even in his drunk state he doesn't want to go with her. Maybe he says something really hurtful to her that gets to her. Maybe he tells her something Sums said about Alex when she was together with him before the rape. Maybe Sums expessed to him that she's sometimes a little scared of Alex? Something like that that would really get to Alex. Alex gets even more angry with him, but he simply doesn't want to go with her. Alex leaves, fuming with anger, looks like the plan failed. But then Violet steps up. Stan trusts her, likes her maybe. She couldn't help distract the lookout, but she now gets her moment to shine.

They get Stan back to Violet's or Danielle's place. They undress him, bind him to the bed. But he's so drunk, maybe he took something else, that he's barely there. Alex tries to get him hard, but it doesn't work. She's frustrated again, nothing works today as intended. One of the other girls steps up and begins to blow him. She's confident in her blow job skills and it works, he finally gets hard.

Alex starts riding Stan and Danielle and Violet hide in the closet like in your version. But it's not what she thought. He is so dazed, he doesn't even fully understand what's going on. He might even be enjoying this, thinking this is just another drunk hookup with some kinky girl who is into bondage play. Alex increases the intensity and now slams her hips into him with full force, wanting to hurt him. But he just says something like "Didn't know Sums fat friend was so wild!" (just more drunk/drugged). Alex is furious now. The guy is supposed to be traumatized tomorrow and not wake up with a headache thinking "Wait, who did I hook up with yesterday?" Meanwhile, you can hear things getting heated in the closet.

Alex has enough. She screams at him "You think this is fun?!" and starts choking him while she fucks him. She keeps escalating, Stan stars to fear for his life, the other girls burst out of the closet because they are scared Alex might going too far and actually choke him to death. She reassures them that she has it under control, they still look worried. She stops choking him, fucks him until he nearly comes, then stops. Maybe she twists his nipples now, really hard, fucks him again until near orgasm. Now he's in agony, begging for her to stop. She has him confess what he did to Sums, has him beg for forgiveness. Now he finally looks like he will wake up traumatized tomorrow. When she finally forces him to come, it's glorious for her. They take pictures of him naked and crying afterward. Alex is high on the violence. On her way home, she wants to tell Sums that she got revenge for her. She goes home... and Sums looks as broken and defeated as when Alex left for the party. Nothing changed. Now the feeling of victory turns hollow.


That is a brief outline how to write a moment like this that, in my view, feels appropriate to the buildup you have. And that is just me spitballing here, but the point is: That brief outline has unexpected obstacles to overcome, rising tension, gives important moments to each of the characters, takes Alex on an emotional journey from anticipation, to frustration, to anger, to catharsis, to hollowness. It makes the rape of Stan stand out from her earlier rapes. It's not that easy this time. The difference is: The chapter still serves the exact same narrative purpose but you would get to really feel it as a reader, instead of being just one more chapter in a list of many it becomes a culmination point in the narrative. And this would of course require you to write something like... 5,000 to 7,000 words for this? You can't do that with ~1,500.

So I want to say: I really like the story, the characters and the themes you have going on here. But I think you're not giving the culmination points in your story the appropriate weight in the way you write them.


edit: Almost forgot, my favorite lines from these chapters:

Instead, I remained in bed and watched her, the way people watch a dying animal at the zoo when it’s too sad to keep pretending it’s not dying. And I told myself I’d make the dying stop.

A little melodramatic? Maybe. But I think it fits the moment perfectly.

[RapeU]

I read to the end of the Stan-arc, or what I presume to be the end of that story line. So to the end of chapter 26. I will keep reading later but I wanted to give a quick feedback up to this point.

I liked a lot of the buildup to that chapter. Getting the background of Danielle having a history bullying people online was very cool. I also liked Violet actually siding with Danielle and Alex. You could argue that all these characters are maybe a bit too easily on board with raping someone but I don't think it detracts too much from the story.

Oh yeah, if the motivation were not for revenge because Sums was broken they probably would not have been on board with it. It's the circumstances that make it plausible.

I also enjoy this theme that Alex not only satisfies her urges by raping people but finds a place to belong in her conspiracy meetings with the other girls. I think that's pretty accurate to how people get co-opted by cults or radical movements. Don't get me wrong, it's really sad that Alex only finds a place where she feels she belongs after finding a bunch of people who share some of her darker impulses. But I think it captures the appeal of cults and radical movements for vulnerable people really well, just on a smaller scale. Or put differently, these three girls are not that far away from meeting in some garage every weekend and Alex starting their meetings with the words: "Ladies, the first rule of rape club is: You do not talk about rape club."

Something slightly different happens here, but you are right that could have been the seeds of an origin story of something much larger.

What I was a bit disappointed with was chapter 26 itself. I think you constrain yourself too much by keeping all chapters in this 1,000 to 2,000 words bitesized range. I think that really flattens the emotional impact of the moment here.

Chapter 27 is about 3,500 words and a few of the chapters after that are long too. It's about to get emotionally explosive.

You gave us all this buildup before, show us the three of them planning and then... you basically skip the entire execution of the plan and just say it works. Stan is also just another drunk guy just lying there while he gets raped. There is no tension in anything that happens here. I think this chapter needed to be 3 to 4 times as long and show us the execution of the plan. You essentially wrote the setup for a heist story. Technically, what your group of criminals is doing is wrong, but the reader wants to see them succeed anyway because they are more likeable than the guy they are about to punish. They plan and then... everything just works out. That's like watching the first half of Ocean's 11 and then the story just resolves in 5 minutes because everything goes as planned.

There's a reason for that which will become apparent when you get to the final chapter. Essentially, Alex is telling this story in her universe. You will know who she is talking to at the final chapter.

I can give you an idea how I think it would be better to write this chapter.

I'm interested to see if you feel the same way once you've read through the next arc and get to the end. There's a reason some of the things are vague. Without saying too much, a significant amount of time has passed and Alex doesn't remember every single detail. She remembers planning and Stan at the apartment, but she doesn't remember anything about the plan except it went off without issue.

Author explanation: I did the conspiring to get the plan done and essentially realized I was writing the exact same thing from the prior rape with Jason and didn't want it to be too repetitive.

So I want to say: I really like the story, the characters and the themes you have going on here. But I think you're not giving the culmination points in your story the appropriate weight in the way you write them.

That's coming in the next chapters. They will be quite the ride.

edit: Almost forgot, my favorite lines from these chapters:

Instead, I remained in bed and watched her, the way people watch a dying animal at the zoo when it’s too sad to keep pretending it’s not dying. And I told myself I’d make the dying stop.

A little melodramatic? Maybe. But I think it fits the moment perfectly.

That idea came from the movie We Bought A Zoo where a father of 3 buys a zoo and is in denial about a tiger dying, so he pretends it's not. It did fit the moment perfectly