An Unfortunate Misstep

[sinfulwords]

I really like this one, it think it would feel familiar to anyone who has a non-con kink. It certainly did for me. It’s a simple classic: coming home from a night out with no idea that a deranged dominant stranger awaits to take what’s “theirs”. Very nice. Bravo

At first I thought it was her husband coming back to rape her as revenge for choosing her career over him so, it was a fun twist for me personally when it was revealed it was somebody else.

I really liked this paragraph in particular:

“As if to answer her defiant thoughts, he let go of her wrists, plunged all of his muscular fingers deeply into her hurting, crimson ass cheeks, and came inside her. She could feel his cock violently throb, pump, and expand, claiming the space inside her as its rightful property. His hot cum flooded her, filled her, and painted her in his color, while it seeped into the walls of her cunt and spread around his raging shaft.”

It’s like the non-con kink wrapped up in a single paragraph just exquisite. It was also double yummy, because it came right after that paragraph detailing her ambition to get even through the judicial system. It really emphasized the defeat of being used like that; the powerlessness of it all.

Kudos x a million. W’s in the chat and airs for days! What a great and entertaining read

[Claire]

@sinfulwords Thank you for the kind words. I make no secret out of the fact that I consider this to be by far my weakest story. But I was really happy to see you point out this particular paragraph. I recently gave the story an overhaul to smooth out some of its rough edges and that paragraph is one I changed quite a bit to make it more visceral.

Thank you for the feedback!

[sinfulwords]

@sinfulwords Thank you for the kind words. I make no secret out of the fact that I consider this to be by far my weakest story. But I was really happy to see you point out this particular paragraph. I recently gave the story an overhaul to smooth out some of its rough edges and that paragraph is one I changed quite a bit to make it more visceral.

Thank you for the feedback!

What do u consider your beststory

[Claire]

What do u consider your beststory

If it comes to my short stories, I'd consider It's okay, I feel a little lonely, too. and Sweet, Sweet Mess to be my best stories. Both are of a similar length than Misstep but better in almost every regard.

I'm of course also very proud of my two long stories Record Chaser and Late Satisfaction you can find in the Community Favorites board. But I think comparing short stories to novellas isn't fair.

[sinfulwords]

What do u consider your beststory

If it comes to my short stories, I'd consider It's okay, I feel a little lonely, too. and Sweet, Sweet Mess to be my best stories. Both are of a similar length than Misstep but better in almost every regard.

I'm of course also very proud of my two long stories Record Chaser and Late Satisfaction you can find in the Community Favorites board. But I think comparing short stories to novellas isn't fair.

Ok! Community favorites board, got it! I'm definitely interested to read your longer pieces. And damn straight you're proud of your novellas shoot, who wouldn't be?! I'm also gonna check out the shorter ones as well. They all have such alluring titles too. One thing I've noticed about all the stories I've read of yours so far is they all have have such creative titles! Looking forward to them and of course I'll drop you line with all my thoughts after reading them

[Claire]

@sinfulwords I actually created a discussion topic on story titles a while ago:

viewtopic.php?t=898

Spoiler: I like the title you chose for your story. In the opening post to the topic, I talk a bit about how I choose my titles and what I consider to be bad titles for stories like ours. But the title of your story is definitely a good one in my book, memorable and intriguing

[sinfulwords]

@sinfulwords I actually created a discussion topic on story titles a while ago:

viewtopic.php?t=898

Spoiler: I like the title you chose for your story. In the opening post to the topic, I talk a bit about how I choose my titles and what I consider to be bad titles for stories like ours. But the title of your story is definitely a good one in my book, memorable and intriguing

Oh shooot! A title seminar! I'm all there thanks for the tips

and thank you about my story title! That means a lot coming from a title guru such as yourself

[Orientalist]

Nicely written piece @Claire. I like it how you paint to readers that the perpetrator was actually someone Leah knew, which kept me guessing, was it her ex? And I like it how you served a plot twist at the end when he stepped onto glass, which sort of reflected on the title itself (before that scene, I kept thinking, where was the misstep? Leah forgetting to lock the door? Lol!)

Would have wanted more descriptive scenes about the rape, and some dialogue too, but you did mention it was supposed to be a short piece, so that's fine, the concise description does work.

[Claire]

@Orientalist Most of my stories have more dialogue, but in a home invasion scenario where the rapist tries to avoid being identified by his voice that wouldn't really work. If I would write this story again today, I might include a scene of Leah with her colleagues where Marvin is present and you get to wonder who from the group might be the attacker. That would naturally add some dialogue to the story before the assault. But fledgling-writer Claire didn't think of this when she wrote that story.

Thank you for the nice comment. Would love to see what you think about a story that I think is actually good. I wonder whether you'd enjoy Men at War. Your own story tells me you don't seem to mind scenarios that are a little out there.

[Orientalist]

@Orientalist Most of my stories have more dialogue, but in a home invasion scenario where the rapist tries to avoid being identified by his voice that wouldn't really work. If I would write this story again today, I might include a scene of Leah with her colleagues where Marvin is present and you get to wonder who from the group might be the attacker. That would naturally add some dialogue to the story before the assault. But fledgling-writer Claire didn't think of this when she wrote that story.

Thank you for the nice comment. Would love to see what you think about a story that I think is actually good. I wonder whether you'd enjoy Men at War. Your own story tells me you don't seem to mind scenarios that are a little out there.

@Claire Ahh, I understand on the limited dialogue due to the home invasion scenario...what I meant was sound effects in the form of dialogue. Ahh, yes, including a scene where Leah interacts with several men, including Marvin, does create a nice situation to get readers thinking who the perpetrator was...which might enhance the story's flavor.

Will give Men at War a go and let you know what I think.

Could I clarify what you meant by "..you don't seem to mind scenarios that are a little out there."?