Sweet, Sweet Mess

[AdmiralPiet]

Finally, I managed to read this.

I don't know why, but I had always assumed this was a non-con story. So I was surprised to see it was not.
I enjoyed it very much.

I think you have a way of describing people and dialogue that feel "real".
There is a certain depth to the caracters. Even though we don't know much, I can feel the person behind it. Not just the almost blank slate that was needed for the story to work.

The use of "I" and "You" was rather unique. It even tripped me up at one point.
I also liked the sudden jumps forward in time, as well as the sex scenes. Short, but well written.

The story overall left me a bit torn. I would hope they would succeed. But there was a reason they broke up. Maybe they have outgrown those problems? But starting from this again seems unhealthy from the getgo. And what of the wife/fiancee? We know nothing, but there is a reason he wore that ring. Some drame is sure to happen, someone will be left unhappy.
It is a big mess

[Claire]

I don't know why, but I had always assumed this was a non-con story. So I was surprised to see it was not.
I enjoyed it very much.

Thanks! And yeah, my first consensual story ever. So this was completely territory for me at the time.

I think you have a way of describing people and dialogue that feel "real".
There is a certain depth to the caracters. Even though we don't know much, I can feel the person behind it. Not just the almost blank slate that was needed for the story to work.

I don't think the story would work with a blank slate protagonist. Elena has a very specific personality that does not invite readers to project themselves onto her. I think the story would collapse immediately without her specific personality driving the plot and the narration.

Regarding the dialogue: My biggest inspiration for writing dialogue is the Before movie trilogy by Richard Linklater. I think those films are a masterclass for writing good dialogue. Watch them, even if you usually don't care for romantic films. Just watch them for the dialogue. You won't regret it.

The story overall left me a bit torn. I would hope they would succeed. But there was a reason they broke up. Maybe they have outgrown those problems? But starting from this again seems unhealthy from the getgo. And what of the wife/fiancee? We know nothing, but there is a reason he wore that ring. Some drame is sure to happen, someone will be left unhappy.

Oh yeah, the whole situation is toxic and self-destructive. But I think for some people, or at least for me, that's part of the allure. Of all the characters I've written, Elena might be the person who is the least like me. I see much more of myself in Julian than in her. I watch her and think "That's self-destructive and dumb..." and I really believe that, and at the same time I envy her for her consequences-be-damned attitude. No careful thinking through, no consideration for anything else, just "I want this and I want it now, and if I have to burn it all down to the ground for that, so be it." That's so far removed from how I live my life. I hope I'm not the only one who looks at Elena and wishes she could be a bit more like her, not always, just every now and then a little bit.

[AdmiralPiet]

I don't think the story would work with a blank slate protagonist. Elena has a very specific personality that does not invite readers to project themselves onto her. I think the story would collapse immediately without her specific personality driving the plot and the narration.

I meant that more as a general statement, not neccessarily just for this story.
And we seem to use the term "work" differently here.

What I meant was this: The absolute barebone base of this is the plot that a woman meets a man she was onece together with. They broke up long ago, and he is now married. Their chance encounter leads to wild sex.
You can tell this story without ever gong into their personalities. Just two blank slates meeting to create the pretext for the sex scene and garnished with bad dialogue ("Why is straw lying there?")
In my terms that would "work", but it wouldn't be good.

Regarding the dialogue: My biggest inspiration for writing dialogue is the Before movie trilogy by Richard Linklater. I think those films are a masterclass for writing good dialogue. Watch them, even if you usually don't care for romantic films. Just watch them for the dialogue. You won't regret it.

I will look into it. But no guarantee it will hook me enough to see it through...

Oh yeah, the whole situation is toxic and self-destructive. But I think for some people, or at least for me, that's part of the allure. Of all the characters I've written, Elena might be the person who is the least like me. I see much more of myself in Julian than in her. I watch her and think "That's self-destructive and dumb..." and I really believe that, and at the same time I envy her for her consequences-be-damned attitude. No careful thinking through, no consideration for anything else, just "I want this and I want it now, and if I have to burn it all down to the ground for that, so be it." That's so far removed from how I live my life. I hope I'm not the only one who looks at Elena and wishes she could be a bit more like her, not always, just every now and then a little bit.

Yeah, the Overthink is weak in this one