Sweet, Sweet Mess

[JTCK]

Once again, an incredibly well-written story from you! What I liked most is that even though it’s consensual and she comes across as very emotional and vulnerable, you still manage to capture the femdom aspect of the contest through so many small details.


Really a wonderful entry! And it’s great to hear that you had as much fun writing it as we had reading it.

[Claire]

Once again, an incredibly well-written story from you! What I liked most is that even though it’s consensual and she comes across as very emotional and vulnerable, you still manage to capture the femdom aspect of the contest through so many small details.


Really a wonderful entry! And it’s great to hear that you had as much fun writing it as we had reading it.

Thank you! I actually didn't write this for the contest. And I didn't set out to write Elena as a dominant character from the start. That back and forth pull for dominance between the two that Elena ends up winning came about naturally as I was writing her as an active character who owns what she's doing. I think I just fell in love with Elena's "consequences be damned!"-attitude as I kept writing the story and leaned into that. Sometimes I wish I could be a little more like that. *sigh*

I'm really happy you enjoyed the story. Posting a consensual story with a dominant female lead on a forum where most people are here to read about women getting raped is not exactly writing for the target audience. But I'm very proud of this story. I think in terms of the quality of the writing it's one of the best I've written, maybe only second to It's okay, I feel a little lonely, too. So I'm always happy to see it get some love.

[RapeU]

Affairs are a turn off for me. If you love someone, you won't cheat on them. If you cheat, then you love neither the person you are using to cheat nor the person you are cheating on. A story just about an affair isn't one that I'm going to like. Sorry.

Maybe if there was more story here, maybe I'd like it. But as is, I don't.

[VictimEyes]

Yeeeeeeeyessss!!!!!!!!!!!!
I can envision his caring eyes that see me and only me glancing into my soul!!!!!!!!
-I'm there!!!! - I'm one glass of white wine away from sucking Julian's dick and riding him like I'm a pneumatic drill as I sit here reading!!!!!!!!

[Claire]

@RapeU Fair enough. I wouldn't know how to condense even more story in such a short text though.

@VictimEyes Didn't expect this one to push your buttons. Still trying to figure out what exactly you are into. I would be interested to see you write a story with the same narrator style: first person present tense constantly addressing another person as you. Imagine the narrator in ShoFU actually talking to her master in her thoughts like Elena talks to Julian in her thoughts here. I think that could go quite well!

[Claire]

Like some of my other stories recently, I gave "Sweet, Sweet Mess" a thorough editing treatment as well. I think the overall quality of the prose should have gone up a notch.

It's a story I'm very proud of and I hope that some new readers will enjoy it in its new, enhanced form.

[Lucius]

All that 'stories inspired by a song' talk made me think of this one. Why do I always go looking for this story in another subforum?

Yeah, in my opinion, SSM is criminally underrated. It was the very first RA story that I read, so I might well be biased towards it, but it is written so well -- especially, I suppose, in the small matter of handling the dialogue. Loses nothing on re-reading, too.

[Claire]

@Lucius I remember reading your first post on this story, appreciating the reply, but being unsure if you actually enjoyed the story. What a curious choice for a first story on a noncon board.

Anyway, I'm happy you still like the story.

[tornado]

I really really liked this story! It felt very natural and the pacing was perfect, from the chance encounter to small talk, then going back to his place, reminiscing about the past, and reigniting old feelings. I also liked how they were both nervous and both kind of freak out when Elena finally asks about Mia, but then it all melts away when she says "I don't care."

Looking forward to reading more of your work!

[Claire]

@tornado Thanks! I'm very happy you enjoyed the pacing. It's easy to write a scene that overstays its welcome.

I'd love to recommend you something else to read based on what you liked about Sweet, Sweet Mess, but most of my stories are noncon. Let me know what you're usually looking for in a story, and I might be able to point you in the right direction.