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praetor3d wrote: Wed Apr 23, 2025 3:28 am
I did not expect this story to go the way it did, so it was a pleasant surprise to read! Mostly because the NC tag seems to apply more to both the male actor and director, rather than the actress (which was what I was anticipating).
Just thinking aloud, if you don't mind, but as I finished reading, I was thinking what if this story started with a detailed description of the gang rape scene, then as the story unfolds, it turns out that it's actually just effective acting all along, and the original story then backtracks to narrate how that scene came to be. It would have totally thrown me into a twisted entertaining loop, or perhaps that's too confusing?
I can easily see the story going the way you described it, just not sure I could have written that in the alotted number of words. The way I approach stories, and this might be a preference thing, is that about the first third of a story is doing the heavy lifting in setting the scene. Yes I could have started with the “rape” but it would have required a lot of description to describe who is involved and what is happening. Also the task was to write something that would allow readers to actually identify one of the characters, so I had to put all my clues into that part as well.
If I had we written this for a visual medium, the rape scene would have been the opener.
Shocker wrote: Sat Apr 19, 2025 1:33 am"Let's not beat around the bush."
Shocker wrote: Sat Apr 19, 2025 1:33 am"Dan you are cute, but I don't need neither make up specialists nor prosthetics, I'll provide an authentic home-grown bush..."
I wonder whether bookending the scene with bushes was an intentional choice.
Lucius wrote: Sat Jun 07, 2025 9:07 am
I love stories involving acresses, can't help it!
Shocker wrote: Sat Apr 19, 2025 1:33 am"Let's not beat around the bush."
Shocker wrote: Sat Apr 19, 2025 1:33 am"Dan you are cute, but I don't need neither make up specialists nor prosthetics, I'll provide an authentic home-grown bush..."
I wonder whether bookending the scene with bushes was an intentional choice.
It is coincidental, there are too many lines in between for making it on purpose, I’m not that good of an author. I was trying to put as many clues to the actress into that passage as I could without making it an exposition dump. And Eva has shown a very nice bush in many of her roles starting in Bernardo Bertolucci’s dreamers.
AdmiralPiet wrote: Sun Jun 08, 2025 7:15 am
This one is too short for me.
Again, I do like your writing in general, but here it is too much story, for too few lines.
But I like the idea.
And it makes you wonder about the what ifs.
How far would he go without the "Cut!"?
Would he maybe ignore the "Cut?"
...
Would she maybe want him to ignore it?...
I do understand that this is a very short story, but I had only 1500 words to work with. The site I wrote this for also made me tag it as extreme for the rape theme.
The protagonist is wondering similar things, but this is a movie and she gave her colleague that pep talk, because he didn’t get into the swing if things.
