Thanks for the kind words. It's always good to hear that a story worked as intended!skuttrusk wrote: Sat Jul 19, 2025 11:53 pm Very strong story. Psychologically believable while still working as a rape fantasy that can be enjoyed. The chilling ending is effective even if, for masturbatory purposes, I'd prefer something else.
First, welcome to the Academy! Thank you for the kind feedback.MasterRich17 wrote: Sun Jul 20, 2025 9:04 am I liked this story a lot, and I also found your comments in reply to others interesting. A lot of thought went into the story, which is something I appreciate.
You're absolutely right. I think I just confused the two words there. I'm not a nativ speaker so it happens sometimes. Thanks for pointing that out, I will fix that!MasterRich17 wrote: Sun Jul 20, 2025 9:04 am Two very tiny editing/language suggestions.
"Your hand cusps her right breast" ; I think you meant "Your hand cups her right breast".
I think you're right, that seems to flow a little better if I read it out loud. I will probably change that too, unless other readers now chime in that they like the original version more.MasterRich17 wrote: Sun Jul 20, 2025 9:04 am "Her body wants to desperately breathe through her mouth"
I think it would be more natural (and for me it would be more effective) to write
"Her body desperately wants to breathe through her mouth".
Btw, if you like a story, it's much appreciated if you give it a positive rating, just like I rated your comment. You rate a story by rating the first post of a thread. And I don't mean that just for my stories, but for all stories. You can rate stories with 1 to 3 points depending on how much you like it. And once a story reaches a rating of 30, it becomes a Popular Story that will be moved from the Public Stories board to the Popular Stories board. So rating stories you like spares them the fate to fade into obscurity as they sink into the depths of page 2 or even higher than that.
