Late to the Party

[RapeU]

This one wasn't really for me. I found myself more interested in what would happen after the group leaves the woman alone in the room with the protagonist than in the voyeur portions of the story itself. I did think you did a good job of showing the protagonists constant attempts to justify, excuse, and rationalize his own behavior while still making it clear that he knows he's failing a moral test.

[AdmiralPiet]

@Claire
As with the previous contest and Shocker I expected you to deliver on this one, and you did
Clear winner in my eyes.
As with your other stories the text itself is pleasant to read.

The beginning was nicely done, with the puking girl and the cigarette in the beer
As for the protagonist: I liked his step by step rationalisations of his actions.

The nicknames where a real nice touch. Very creative. Glad kindle got some of the formatting over (kursive instead of crossed out) otherwise this could have been a bit hard to read.
I would only argue that the number the names changed was a smidge too much.

The ending hits hard. Throughout I was hoping he would at least search for a way out. Maybe thinking about geting his smartphone out and start recording, planing to admit to being a creep later but at least do something redeeming. But then deciding against it for some reason. Risk of being discovered too high or something.
Going from guy looking at ass to actual rapist is steep, but the ending is open enough for him to maybe come to his senses.
Or end up as the guy that is catched and convicted while the others go free.
Who knows?

I think you said somewhere else that you don't care much for anal.
I am always happy when you include it though.

Overall: Well done!

[Claire]

@RapeU I always have a hard time respondong anything of substance to a comment like yours. If I had focused on what happened after the other guys left, I would have written a fundamentally different story. But not being a fan of voyeurism in stories is fair. So I guess I can only say... Maybe the next story will appeal to your personal kinks more?

Clear winner in my eyes.
As with your other stories the text itself is pleasant to read.

Thank you!

Glad kindle got some of the formatting over (kursive instead of crossed out)

I ended up using both because the line that crosses out the word looked rather thin to me. But if it helps with kindle then that's even better.

I would only argue that the number the names changed was a smidge too much.

Yeah, could be. It's hard for me to tell as this was the first time I tried something like that. Maybe this would have worked even better in a story with just one victim, one rapist, and one voyeur instead of a story with three rapists. Probably easier to keep track of.

Going from guy looking at ass to actual rapist is steep

That is kind of the point. Girls getting raped by random guys at college parties while they are wasted is something that happens. And personally, I doubt that many of the guys doing that woke up that morning and thought: "I'm gonna rape someone today!" I suspect that most college boys doing that try to tell themselves that something the girl mumbled in her wasted state counts as consent. So the self-labeling at the end is probably the most unlikely thing to happen, but I think the transformation from guy-looking-at-ass to guy-who-took-advantage-of-wasted-girl is a fairly common thing, sadly.

I think you said somewhere else that you don't care much for anal.
I am always happy when you include it though.

Yeah, I usually only include it when I believe it serves the story. And I think especially in gang rape stories, it's a useful tool to give the different assaults and rapists a different feel. Unless of course you're trying to capture the feeling of it just being one guy after another and the men turning into a blur.

[RapeU]

@RapeU I always have a hard time respondong anything of substance to a comment like yours. If I had focused on what happened after the other guys left, I would have written a fundamentally different story. But not being a fan of voyeurism in stories is fair. So I guess I can only say... Maybe the next story will appeal to your personal kinks more?

That's fair. I wasn't really suggesting the story should have been different. Some stories just don't tickle the middle, even when they're well written like this one. But I can definitely see someone with more of a voyeur kink enjoying it.

[Shocker]

Congratulations on your victory

[AdmiralPiet]

Congratulations!

[Lucius]

Congratulations!

[Claire]

Thank you all here too!

[VictimEyes]

Heartfelt Congratulations !!!!!!

[Claire]

I just removed the fake ratings on my story. 10 points in total... But it will feel so much better when the story makes it to 30 properly now.


@VictimEyes Thank you!