Record Chaser

[atlasmoth]

Well.. I have but one point left to award, and this chapter deserves it. I’ll be back later to up it.

[Claire]

Well.. I have but one point left to award, and this chapter deserves it. I’ll be back later to up it.

Thaat's cool. The important thing is to rate the story as a whole. And you already increased your spending power by 2 points from 6 to 8. You can get up to 40 the more reputation you gain. The points also regenerate every 12 hours.

I'm excited to read what you think of the end of the story!

[AdmiralPiet]

@Claire

I have reached the beginning of chapter 11 in the last few days.
I really should have made some notes, but I didn't, so my commentary might be a bit erratic.

First of all: The writing was up to the standard I come to expect. There was never a part where I thought of reading as a chore.
Interestingly the chapter that took me in the most was when Claire finally got home.

The character of Mark changed from rather annoying to interesting.
The basic problem that I had with him was the whole "good rapist" thing. At first he seemed to feel guilt but believed that he could cancel out or lessen his bad deeds by committing an "ethical rape".
It still remains to a point as he sees himself as not as bad as he could be, or at least tries really hard to convince himself of that. But it is not as blatant and one dimensional as it seemed i the beginning. Which was kinda dumb of me to assume, that you would write sich a character. Him trying to hide from his guilt behind flimsy excuses was nicely done. Especially the part where he snapped for a moment and hit her.

His math remains flawed, as I expected. I think this something close to the gambler’s fallacy. He didn't spare Claire the bad rapist, he just added himself to it. I almost wish Claire would have confronted him with that. He is intelligent enough to get the error and would have to come up with a new rationalisation.

I can follow his argument that he is not Hitler or Stalin, that Claire could have had it far worse but the fact remains: No matter how many people you rape, or how cruel or humane the rape is: Rape is still rape.
I would like to read a (shorter) story where his mask crumbles and he has to take a look in the metaphorical mirror.

I had originally expected less timejumps, but in hindsight it would not have helped the story to decribe the rapes in between and rather bogged things down.
What struck me as a bit odd: In the first 10 hours he came 8 times, but could only get 5 more in the remaining 14? I get that he has more difficulty the longer it drags on, but there is a lot of refractory time left.
But then again, I never attempted that many, so maybe?

I liked that Claire got a little Victory in the end by telling him time was up.

The spanking was a nice touch. I would have liked it to be much harder, but that would neither fit Mark, or your story.

The references to Eleanors Story, "Professor Robertson would never do something like that" in particular hit hard.

There seems to be a curious accumulation of rape/sexual assault victims around Claire...

[Claire]

I have reached the beginning of chapter 11 in the last few days.
I really should have made some notes, but I didn't, so my commentary might be a bit erratic.

I admire your restraint! I don't think I could have stopped just before the final chapter to write such a feedback post. In the time you wrote that, you could have probably read all of chapter 11.

Interestingly the chapter that took me in the most was when Claire finally got home.

That's nice to hear. That chapter got to me hard while I wrote it and I really like how it turned out, especially the second half after Mark made his exit from the story.

His math remains flawed, as I expected. I think this something close to the gambler’s fallacy. He didn't spare Claire the bad rapist, he just added himself to it. I almost wish Claire would have confronted him with that. He is intelligent enough to get the error and would have to come up with a new rationalisation.

That's true. The story even acknowledges that explicitly. But I'm curious. What made you think that Mark actually believes this and doesn't just say this stuff to break Claire psychologically in chapter 8?

I can follow his argument that he is not Hitler or Stalin, that Claire could have had it far worse but the fact remains: No matter how many people you rape, or how cruel or humane the rape is: Rape is still rape.

Agreed. Which is also kind of the point of Claire's realization. What does it say about you if you have to lower your moral standard to Hitler or Stalin to be able to feel good about yourself? The moment you feeld the need to seriously entertain the comparison, you are already beyond redemption.

I would like to read a (shorter) story where his mask crumbles and he has to take a look in the metaphorical mirror.

This kind of already happened here. From this point forward, I see two ways to finish Mark's story. Either he crumbles under his guilt and is from now on no longer able to continue as before, no more rapes. Or his story ends in a twisted form of radical self-acceptance where he abandons his rules and persona and sees himself as irredeemable from now on. The transformation into the monster is complete.

There seems to be a curious accumulation of rape/sexual assault victims around Claire...

Yeah... you better don't read Venus' Touch...


Looking forward to your thoughts on the final chapter.

[AdmiralPiet]

I admire your restraint! I don't think I could have stopped just before the final chapter to write such a feedback post. In the time you wrote that, you could have probably read all of chapter 11.

No restraint there. I think I read that the day before, before going to bed. Stopped because I had to sleep, and wrote the comment the next day.

That's true. The story even acknowledges that explicitly. But I'm curious. What made you think that Mark actually believes this and doesn't just say this stuff to break Claire psychologically in chapter 8?

Good question.
I guess because it fits.
He feels guilt, he builds rationalisations to hide from it. Like you say: he even lowers his moral standard to Hitler.
A logical fallacy wouldn't be out of the question.
And people have this ability to know that something isn't right, does not fit, is illogical . But they refuse to think about it enough to reach a point where they have to admit the fault to themselves.
We mostly see this with conspiracy theories. Maintaining the lie, forcing yourself to believe in the conspiracy even harder when evidence against it is presented, because believing that is easier than admitting you are wrong.

That would fit Mark too.
Ignoring the flaws in his reasoning, because that is easier than confronting his guilt.

But I guess you could read it both ways no problem.

This kind of already happened here. From this point forward, I see two ways to finish Mark's story. Either he crumbles under his guilt and is from now on no longer able to continue as before, no more rapes. Or his story ends in a twisted form of radical self-acceptance where he abandons his rules and persona and sees himself as irredeemable from now on. The transformation into the monster is complete.

Theoretically there is a third way: He could go on, and flee ever deeper into his mask and his excuses.
But I guess that wouldn't be appealing to you.

Yeah... you better don't read Venus' Touch...

But...but I want to

[AdmiralPiet]

So. I made it.

For the last Chapter I don't have much to say.
Not a hard open ended cut, but a slower cooldown.
For most of teh rape stories here that would be unneccessary surplus, for this one it is a fitting end.

The chapter before I was thinking Claire is (understandably) worrying about the wrong things.
Her concerns were feeling safe, sleep and escape. And I kept thinking: Police! Give law enforcement a chance to bring the hammer down on Mark, however slim that chance is.
But at least in the end she is kinda safe, and Jason is there.

I wonder if Nora comes around once she learns of the reasons why Claire called, or if she gets worse.
Maybe we will see her in Divergent Limit

I can't give you a full breakdown of every chapter like you did in the authors commentary.
The final verdict would be: This storys place in the Community Favorites is well deserved!

Some remarks I have though:
Like I said before, I think you and I are close in some regards, yet standing on opposite sides of a deep chasm.

tension between "This is so wrong!" and "This is so hot..."

I know this feeling to an extent. Unlike that other reader you mentioned I don't need to supress feeling for the victim, the suffering makes it hot.
But if I interpret it right, this tension gets you on a quite emotional level, where you even feel disgusted at yourself, and it is emotionally draining.
That one I don't know, not to that extent. But mostly during post nut clarity I think: "Well, that was kinda fucked up, wasn't it?" But more from a detached position.

I don't think I even have that ability to go that deep into a character where it would really hit me that hard.
When I watch movies the scenes that are meant to be heartwrenching don't have that much effect on me, mostly I would be impressed by the acting if its done well.
Doesn't mean I never get emotional but an intense display of suffering is more likely to leave me cold. (But a scene like in Apollo 13 when the capsule comes out of blackout and everyone cheers often makes me teary eyed)

Also there is quite a difference in how we approach the suffering. You go with the mind, I think more visually and instead of psychological trauma I would try to make things more extreme from a physical standpoint. (and with quite some romanticising) Huge cock on the rapist, whips, electric shocks, hard fucking, very long sessions...
Thats why I like some of the dofantasy comics so much: The expressions of fear/pain/distress on the womens faces (while they still look like supermodels) push the buttons with ease.

That makes me wonder: Could I write a story that you would find arousing without me just copying what you already did here
Could be an Interesting challenge.
Because while it drew me in, and I really like your writing, I never masturbated to this because it just don't click that way.

I also noticed some (to me) interesting difference in how authors approach similar themes and how different it can feel.

With Claire I get the feeling that she is traumatized. This is nothing that will heal quickly or fully.
She might get better with time, but a shadow will remain.
Also during the actual ordeal you bring accross how an experience like this not only hurts the victim, but shatters them inside.

She will never be not a rape victim

@RapeU Dealt with the trauma fallout for Wendy and Hannah in "Two Broken, One Whole". Of course its different stories, they are in different stages of healing, different writing styles. But it is one of the stories here that I read and that deal with this topic.

But together our love kept stitching us back into something whole, one panic attack at a time.

Maybe this is pointless rambling, but I had this comparison in my mind that Claire is more like a real life gunshot victim. You are hit, usually you are down for a while.
Wendy and Hannah are more like the action hero type: It hurts, it bleeds, but after gritting their teeth and patching it up with a makeshift bandage they power through.
I don't mean this in any way negative, I love both approaches/stories.
Just something that was rolling around my brain and that I wanted to get out.

Edit:
Forgot that I wanted to say something about the mentioning of the normal distribution. I liked that detail a lot, but since I had read "Late Satisfaction" first I got the reason for that immediately, maybe I would have stumbled if I read this one first.

[Claire]

@AdmiralPiet I'm so glad you made it to the end and had fun.

I don't mind you saying at all that this wasn't masturbation material for you. To me, that is actually high praise. I think if a story can offer more to keep someone engaged even without pushing their personal kink button, then that's a good sign.

For me, a good erotic story works similar to good sex. Just like sex is usually the best when it feels deeply meaningful, the same is true for erotic fiction for me. When it comes to consensual sex I think the most memorable stories instill a sense of longing for the emotional experience in the reader. And in case of noncon, they work best for me when they make me feel the transgressive nature of rape. The horror of rape has very little to do with the physical harm. If that was the case, getting punched in the face would in many cases probably be seen as the worse crime.

I think fundamentally the horror of rape is psychological, its the erosion of dignity and your sense of self that gets called into question. If you look at the victims of my stories, I think there is a throughline where what happens to them calls their identity in question or they try to redefine their identity in the aftermath. (As a quick aside: Since you mentioned @RapeU's Wendy and Hannah stories. I think that is ultimately the element that's missing for me in them. And it's also why I liked Alex as the protagonist in his CUNT rapist story so much because in her story, which is about being the rapist, it's also about how that changes who she is.)

And I think it is not just the victims in my stories that struggle with identity, it's the rapists too. That is why I find the psychopath rapist so uninteresting as a character. A character who chooses to rape someone does something most people are not just unaffected by.

I find it erotic to lean into that aspect, to feel that while I read a rape scene. But I get that many are looking for the exact opposite. They want to enjoy the fantasy precisely because it is stripped of the psychological consequences, to indulge themselves in the over the top physicalty and maybe the power fantasy aspect, not immerse themselves in psychological realism.

That makes me wonder: Could I write a story that you would find arousing without me just copying what you already did here
Could be an Interesting challenge.

Go for it, but not for me! I think most of my growth as a writer comes from challenging myself to try something new. Whether that's to write a second person story, a consensual story, playing with formatting, or translating: Trying something new is a great way to reflect on what you usually do. I think for yourself, writing something that might feel mundane to you and where the main hook is not what happens externally with whips, gags, needles, implants or whatever could be a nice way to evolve your writing. Because if you find something that appeals to you in writing a story like this, you can always take what you found and integrate it into the futanari story with the whips.

[RapeU]

It’s not entirely missing in the Hannah/Wendy stories. It will just take a little more time to get there.

[AdmiralPiet]

@AdmiralPiet I'm so glad you made it to the end and had fun.

I don't mind you saying at all that this wasn't masturbation material for you. To me, that is actually high praise. I think if a story can offer more to keep someone engaged even without pushing their personal kink button, then that's a good sign.

I figured as much from previous comments.

For me, a good erotic story works similar to good sex. Just like sex is usually the best when it feels deeply meaningful, the same is true for erotic fiction for me. When it comes to consensual sex I think the most memorable stories instill a sense of longing for the emotional experience in the reader. And in case of noncon, they work best for me when they make me feel the transgressive nature of rape. The horror of rape has very little to do with the physical harm. If that was the case, getting punched in the face would in many cases probably be seen as the worse crime.

I think fundamentally the horror of rape is psychological, its the erosion of dignity and your sense of self that gets called into question. If you look at the victims of my stories, I think there is a throughline where what happens to them calls their identity in question or they try to redefine their identity in the aftermath. (As a quick aside: Since you mentioned @RapeU's Wendy and Hannah stories. I think that is ultimately the element that's missing for me in them. And it's also why I liked Alex as the protagonist in his CUNT rapist story so much because in her story, which is about being the rapist, it's also about how that changes who she is.)

To an extent that holds true for me too, but it works in a different way.
I guess you could describe a scene where the rapist wont even fuck the victim. He could just hold her against a wall and get under her skirt, not even ripping the panties and fingering her.
Realistically that alone could traumatise someone and I am sure you could write loads on the psychological effects. But in my minds eye I would imagine what is happening "actually": An almost fully clothed woman pressed against a wall and the rapists hand between her legs. That does not push the buttons.

If the victim is naked, perhaps in bondage, whipped and fucked hard the mental image does push the buttons. But it is still more than just the violence alone. The terror and humiliation of the victim still play a part in the fantasy, as well as pain. A bit in line with "a picture can say more than a thousand words" it is conveyed through body language and facial expression.
How well I can conjure u those images in a reader of my stories is another question. With you for example it might not work at all due to aphantasia.

And we diverge furter in that you stay close to realism while my fantasy is sanitised in both the pysical and mental effects.

And I think it is not just the victims in my stories that struggle with identity, it's the rapists too. That is why I find the psychopath rapist so uninteresting as a character. A character who chooses to rape someone does something most people are not just unaffected by.

I never really thought about it that much, but if you take Freya and Caelyn for example. I think they serve as an extension of the more extreme violence for me.
Claire was able to hit Mark with the "You're a monster!". With Freya that would not work at all. If anything it would only encourage her. Caelyn has a few extra screws knocked loose and might act a bit unpredictable.
The victims might feel humiliated, small, powerless. That is conveyed by Freya and Caelyn being taller, stronger, with huge cocks, and absolutely unfazed by suffering. There is no reasoning, no pleading. They are inevitable.

There might be some after the fact reasoning in here....

Go for it, but not for me! I think most of my growth as a writer comes from challenging myself to try something new. Whether that's to write a second person story, a consensual story, playing with formatting, or translating: Trying something new is a great way to reflect on what you usually do. I think for yourself, writing something that might feel mundane to you and where the main hook is not what happens externally with whips, gags, needles, implants or whatever could be a nice way to evolve your writing. Because if you find something that appeals to you in writing a story like this, you can always take what you found and integrate it into the futanari story with the whips.

Yeah. Not much sense in crafting a story for a specific person if one does not even know if it could work. (Would be different if you where a fangirl )
I would do it for the challenge.

In fact I had an idea for a second person story recently...

[Claire]

@AdmiralPiet Second person is so much fun to write. I really liked it when I did it. And with Sweet, Sweet Mess I wrote what you might call a first person and second person hybrid with present tense narration. That gives the prose a sense of immediacy that I don't think you can reach with third person past tense narration.

One of the paragraphs that I enjoyed writing the most is this one here from Sweet, Sweet Mess.

I could just walk past you, ignore you. Instead, I stop behind the chair opposite you, observing you, waiting for you to notice me. It takes you a while. I see you make a note. Your handwriting has always been pretty, it still is. You called it the expression of a writer’s soul back in the day - you pretentious little prick. And I was all over you for it. I see the ring on your finger. Then I catch your eye. Your gaze slowly wanders up my body as if you were hesitant to just stare at some random woman besieging your table. I can see the moment of recognition on your face.

You can do so much with character voice in this style of narration, it's really fun.

Claire was able to hit Mark with the "You're a monster!". With Freya that would not work at all. If anything it would only encourage her. Caelyn has a few extra screws knocked loose and might act a bit unpredictable.

Oh yeah, absolutely. This wouldn't have an effect on most people. It wouldn't even have an effect on Mark if it registered with him as a generic insult. It only works in that moment because he understands that Claire understands how his mind works.

But the more interesting question to ask is: Is there something a victim could do to rattle Freya? That is ultimately where stories are told, in the moments where characters are thrown off balance because something exposes their vulnerability.