Home

[Claire]

I agree with @Lucius, it's a great first story so far. Thank you that you shared it with us. I'm curious to see where you will take the story next.

So unless I missed it, but I think none of the characters in the story have a name. Not our protagonist, no her mother, not her crush nor Daddy of course. It's an interesting choice for a story like this. Why did you make it? Do you want to give the reader the chance to project themselves onto the characters?

[VeraSmithy]

I agree with @Lucius, it's a great first story so far. Thank you that you shared it with us. I'm curious to see where you will take the story next.

So unless I missed it, but I think none of the characters in the story have a name. Not our protagonist, no her mother, not her crush nor Daddy of course. It's an interesting choice for a story like this. Why did you make it? Do you want to give the reader the chance to project themselves onto the characters?

Hi Claire! Thank you for the comment!

So it's definitely a conscious decision I made. There's a couple reasons I have for doing this.

I felt it could give the reader the option to project in the moment. I want the lack of a definitive physical description of both protagonist and predator filled in by the reader's imagination. I dance around anything that can push the reader out of the driver's seat of the experience. I try to supplement the lack of those details with graphic sensory descriptions and insight.

The protagonist does have their own personality and dreams and inner world for now. I do hope that she feels like a person so far despite the lack of a physical description. Because she's more than her body, her mind is what is the most important and potent aspect here and how it responds to the situation.

I tried to take a page from Stephen King in how he writes, especially for his horror stories. He doesn't write about the scary things themselves as much as how the characters feel about them. That's what makes the scary things actually scary. Except I've tried to apply that to smut. So I hope that it's affective for the reader's experience or at least interesting enough to keep the narrative engaging and aroused.

My other intention was to subtly reinforce the worldview of the predator without giving him his own POV. I'm making it a point to not to write from his POV over the saga.

To him, what matters now that she's here is what he is doing and what values he's trying to instill into the protagonist. He doesn't care about who the protagonist is. Her real name is irrelevant to him. Who she was before this moment, her wants, her needs, her dreams, are no longer relevant to him, probably never were.

Her life, her friends, meaningless background noise to him. Her mother was only relevant for her role as a guardian to the protagonist until the predator was ready to abduct her. He is not a character who will change. He is a static character with iron clad resolve and delusionally justified in what he's done and what he will do.

He's not the character meant to change, the protagonist is. Hearing from him would just feel a bit repetitive after a while. That's why I'm not particularly interested in giving him the POV treatment unless there's a lot of demand for it.

I want the readers to experience the protagonist's journey and be able to feel what the protagonist feels and thinks as their mind is broken, their sense of self transformed, their individuality eroded, their own feelings and values inverted and turned inside out.

This isn't a story where who she is or was before her abduction is going to be preserved. She is here to be molded and taught. There is no escape until she becomes the predator's ideal daughter. This is a love story, but the concept of love in this story is absolutely fucked up. And I still feel that doesn't come close to the depravity of what is going to happen in the mind of the protagonist over the series.

Whatever happiness to be found for her is absolutely twisted and warped. I think exploring that journey through her eyes is a more interesting and, to me at least, a more titillating experience.

I do have a whole background for the predator and his psychology. If there's enough interest I will make a post for that, but I will be sprinkling hints of that here and there throughout the series through his dialogue, actions and the protagonist's observations.

[RapeU]

Ordinarily it annoys the absolute shit out of me when a girl calls their lover Daddy. It's asinine.

But in this situation, where the rapist is mentally disturbed to where he insists the protagonist is his daughter, it absolutely works. And it's written in a way that's hot.

[Claire]

Hi Claire! Thank you for the comment!

You're welcome!

I felt it could give the reader the option to project in the moment. I want the lack of a definitive physical description of both protagonist and predator filled in by the reader's imagination. I dance around anything that can push the reader out of the driver's seat of the experience. I try to supplement the lack of those details with graphic sensory descriptions and insight.

Is that a general approach for you or is that specific to this story? I wrote one short story myself where I don't give characters names or descriptions of their appearance, not even their rough age. But for me that is an exception for a specific story, not a general approach.

The protagonist does have their own personality and dreams and inner world for now. I do hope that she feels like a person so far despite the lack of a physical description. Because she's more than her body, her mind is what is the most important and potent aspect here and how it responds to the situation.

For me that works just fine. I'm much more interested in the character and their inner world. I don't need detailed descriptions of what they look like at all.

My other intention was to subtly reinforce the worldview of the predator without giving him his own POV. I'm making it a point to not to write from his POV over the saga.

To him, what matters now that she's here is what he is doing and what values he's trying to instill into the protagonist. He doesn't care about who the protagonist is. Her real name is irrelevant to him. Who she was before this moment, her wants, her needs, her dreams, are no longer relevant to him, probably never were.

Her life, her friends, meaningless background noise to him. Her mother was only relevant for her role as a guardian to the protagonist until the predator was ready to abduct her. He is not a character who will change. He is a static character with iron clad resolve and delusionally justified in what he's done and what he will do.

He's not the character meant to change, the protagonist is. Hearing from him would just feel a bit repetitive after a while. That's why I'm not particularly interested in giving him the POV treatment unless there's a lot of demand for it.

My recommendation would be: Stick to your approach no matter how big reader demand for something becomes. I'm not saying to ignore reader suggestions, but I would include them because they convince me not because a particular request is very vocal.

I like the choice to stick to her POV. I don't know how long you envision the story to be, but the fear of feeling repetitive is there for her POV too if what comes after this is just more and more obedience from her. I think that is the biggest trap to look out for with this kind of story.

Whatever happiness to be found for her is absolutely twisted and warped. I think exploring that journey through her eyes is a more interesting and, to me at least, a more titillating experience.

I'm curious to see how you will go about that. Linking the situation she's in to anything you might call happiness, twisted as it may be, is a daunting task.


Thank you for the detailed response! I love to get some insight into an author's mind like that.

[VeraSmithy]

Teaser: It's Time for Breakfast for our protagonist
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The author of this story has read and accepted the rules for posting stories. They guarantee that the following story depicts none of the themes listed in the Forbidden Content section of the rules.

The following story is a work of fiction meant for entertainment purposes only. It depicts nonconsensual sexual acts between adults. It is in no way meant to be understood as an endorsement of nonconsensual sex or illegal actions in real life. Any similarities of the characters in the story to real people are purely coincidental.
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Title: Home
By: VeraSmithy

Chapter Tags: #Rape #Oral #Kidnapped #Nonconsent #Forced Orgasm #Cunnilingus
Content Warnings: #Rape #Oral #Kidnapped #Nonconsent #Forced Orgasm #Victim Blaming

Table of Contents

CH 1 viewtopic.php?p=9186#p9186

CH 2 viewtopic.php?p=9223#p9223

CH 3 https://ravishmentacademy.com/viewtopi ... 9242#p9242

CH 4 viewtopic.php?p=9242#p9242

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I welcome any and all constructive feedback, but most of all I hope you enjoy this next chapter in my series
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Chapter 4

Its been god knows how many days. I don't have a window, I haven't had food in so long. All the clothes I had have been taken, Im naked all the time. He hasn't come to see me since he took my virginity though. The blood stain is still caked on the bed sheet.

I hate looking at it. It makes me sick. The way he hurt me, but what's even worse the way he made me feel good. I feel disgusted and ashamed of myself.

He at least has a bathroom built down here, its nothing fancy. Only a toilet, a sink (no mirror), and a tub. Its cramped but im grateful for running water and indoor plumbing.

I've been drinking water like crazy to help with the hunger. I sleep most of the time. I feel weaker every time I wake up. There's a lamp but nothing else. The room is dark even with the light.

Then I hear a lock klang and rustle, a door opening, a brief glow of light shining from the outside.

"Hello, Kitten."

The light is snuffed out by the closing of the door behind him, followed by him relocking it.

He's brought something. Oh my god the smell, its amazing. It smells like eggs and bacon and -

My stomach growls and churns so loud it hurts. He's standing on the other side of the room, a trey with plates in his hands

"I can see you've noticed the feast I've made for you."

I get up to approach but the shackle on my ankle doesn't let me get far enough to reach him. I get woozy from standing up so quick and no food. I return and fall back onto the mattress.

"Ah ah. No food until you do your chores young lady."

"Chores?"

"You need to make daddy happy, then you can have breakfast."

He places the tray on the floor. He approaches, stripping his clothes as he does until he's completely nude.

I don't put up much of a fight this time because Im too weak to do so.

"Don't worry, princess, I know how weak you are from the lack of food. You won't have to get up for your first chore."

He comes to my bedside, his cock right at face level. I blankly look at it. His dick isn't small, its thick, throbbing and bobbing but its not huge like a porn star's. Doesn't really matter much how big it is, it caused me so much pain my first time.

"What do you want me to do?"

His face looks angry, he raises his hand to slap me.

"Who am I?"

"D- Daddy! What do you want me to do daddy?"

"You see that glistening ooze from my tip kitten? That's called precum, it shows how much my cock needs you. Wrap your hand around your daddy's cock-"

I hesitate. He grabs my hair in his fist.

"I said. Wrap. Your Hand. Around Daddy's cock."

I do what he says. He releases my hair and pets the top of my head like im a pet.

"Good girl. Squeeze it, not too tight in your grip. Very good, just like that-"

He puts his hand over mine and guides it to start jerking him off. I dissociate, allowing my brain to tell my body to be on auto pilot to just do what he says. His hand lets go and I keep going.

"Mmmfuck baby, now rub your thumb along my tip if you can. Oooh yess just like that. Good, fucking girl. Good slut-." His precum acts as a kind of lube the more drips out. my hand and arm starts to cramp.

"Fffuuuck, stop stop sweetie-"

I stop, confused but relieved. His cock looks even more engorged.

"You did so good baby, but you're not done yet."

He scoops me up in his arms, then sets me upon the floor. He sits me up, my head and back propped against the mattress, My legs are splayed open. I feel like one of those Rag dolls. He approaches my face, pressing his tip against my cheek, stroking the top of my head lovingly. I hate it. I hate his smell, I hate his touch. But it's better than being beaten.

"Now princess, your next chore. Daddy's gonna teach you how to take a man's cock in your mouth and down your throat. Then you'll get to have breakfast."

"Yes...Daddy-"

That's my good girl. First, I want you to kiss and lick my tip while massaging my shaft. Like you did before. Get it all wet with your tongue."

I take hold of his cock again. It feels big in my small hands and I pump it like he showed me how earlier. I kiss his tip. His precum covering my lips like a lipgloss. It tastes terrible.

"Mmm now start licking baby, mmm get my tip nice and wet"

I swirl my tongue around it. It tastes like salt and slime. I pump his shaft faster, I just want to get it over with. He pulls my hair, jerking my head to look up at him.

"Almost done kitten. Now open your mouth nice and wide." he says slapping his cock against my lips.

"God, your mouth looks so inviting. Sweet virgin little mouth. I'm gonna take it now sweetie."

"Yes, da-"

He uses both hands to grab my head, entangling my hair and slides his cock into my mouth.

"You bite me, you don't eat today and you'll be punished, hard."

Im so weak from hunger I don't have the strength to fight back this time. I keep my mouth open as wide as I can. His cock slowly moves back and forth in short motions.

"Wrap your lips around me baby girl. Mmm that feels good. Your little mouth was made for my cock. So does your slutty little throat"

He jams his cock hard and quick into my esophagus. I...I cant breathe!

"Aaah shit its so tight. So fucking tight for me! I'll be gentle for now."

He slides his prick slowly down my throat, invading and opening to him. Its triggering my gag reflex, but all I have inside is water and that's all that comes. He planned for everything.

He takes it out. Let's go of my head and lets me cough out the water and saliva and precum coating the inside of my mouth.

" I see your pussy little one. Its soaking for me."

I look down at it and there's practically a puddle. My thighs are dripping in the transparent wetness sliding down my thighs.

"It makes Daddy so happy your sweet little pussy weeps from serving me. Your throat should be nice and open for me now baby. Your break time is over-"

He grabs my hair in both fists, using it like horse reigns. Then shoves his cock hard and fast all at once deep down my throat. He humps in and out of my esophagus mercilessly.

My nose it full of snot and saliva exploding from my mouth and drenching his cock.

"I know ungh- this...fuck...hard sweetie....uuuughhh. God damn your throat's squeezing me so tight... my slutty baby girl. My little princess"

My hands flail slapping his calves squeezing his legs out of instinct. Things are starting go dark the faster he rapes my throat. His hips pump faster and more erratically and harder.

"Get. Ready for... a snack! Ffffffuuuuuuck"

He pulls my face in till im at the base of his shaft. I go limp, the darkness and lack of oxygen almost take me as I feel his thick, hot, salty cum pumps deep down my throat.

He lets my hair go. I fall back, his cock dislodges. No cum left in my mouth, all of it is in my stomach. I'm gagging. He covers my mouth.

"Don't you dare. Daddy made that all for you. Some protein is good for you."

He lets go. I take a deep breath and the churning stops. I finally realize how sore and raw my throat is, I can't speak. My jaw aches badly. I start to cry, I thought I was going to die. Then he kneels down to hold me and stroke my hair and back. I can't help but hold onto him I NEED comfort.

"Awe I know baby girl. I know daddy was rough on you. It's because you're so beautiful I couldn't help myself. shushsushusssh. I know how daddy can make it up to you sweet baby."

He picks me up like a damsel and lays me down again. He opens my legs, licking and kissing down my my inner thighs,

"Daddy is going to give you what you need."

He opens my pussy lips and kisses my swollen clit. His tongue swirls and pushes firmly against it. It feels so good, I'm thrusting to meet and get more of his lashings, then he grabs my hips, holding them in place and eating my pussy with reckless abandon.

He focuses his tongue on my clit and then inserts a finger into my weeping hole. He thrusts it hard and so fast. I'd moan but my throat is so sore, all that comes out are desperate squeaks.

He then inserts two fingers and fucks my pussy while tonguing my clit harder and hard.

I tremble and cum so hard, my legs wrap around his head out of instinct. I feel incredible, wishing it would last forever. Then I gradually come down, my legs go limp and wobbly, releasing the grip around his head. He looks at me, wipes his moth and chin. My body is lolling as if I don't have any bones. He lightly chuckles, as if he's impressed with himself. No surprise there.

He kisses my mons and gets up off the bed. Collects the food covered tray and brings it my direction. He rests it on the nightstand next to me. He has a glass of orange juice with a straw. He put the cup and straw against my lips and I drink as fast as I can. The sting of the citrus feels good on my throat, I feel a little energy from the sugar. He strokes my hair.

"My beautiful baby girl."

He gets up, gathers his clothes and goes to the stairs.

"Rest well kitten, I'll be back later to...hehe.. give you some lunch."

He leaves.

Once I have the energy I sit up to eat. The buttered toast is rough on my throat and a strain for my jaw to chew, but it takes the taste of his sweat and his cum so I don't care.

However, this time, I was terrified. Not of his violation, his raping my throat until I thought I was going to die. No, this time my reaction was more than just stimulation. My fear comes from how my body gave in so easily this time and felt pleasure from the beginning. My pussy was wet from his assault on my clit and insides. From how right now, I want more. God give me strength. God forgive me.


End of chapter 4
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[Blue]

@VeraSmithy
Simply brilliant—this writing style, which is further highlighted by the use of color variations.

Choppy; sentence by sentence, sensation by sensation. No time wasted on further explanations. She recounts what happens from her perspective—and we learn, in minute detail, exactly what *he* is doing.
Superb.

[TromboneDalek]

Chapter 1: I instinctively moved my hands for the meme when you said she was out for 6-7 hours. I was shocked that he didn’t hit her again at the end since if she was frozen and unable to move until the pain ebbed then she wouldn’t have been able to open her legs which he would again see as defiance.
Chapter 2: “I wouldn’t want your first time to be against your will after all.” Oh well we definitely couldnt have that when we’ve intentionally abducted a virgin. (This is sarcasm by the way and I love this line).
Chapter 3: I love that the first time we get the FMC name is right before he takes her virginity. It is the reminder that this entire situation was intentional as it is easy to forget she was specifically chosen and not just a random victim when focusing on the action. “I can’t betray myself. I can just be.” Powerful words that help the reader be in the head of Marie.
Chapter 4: WTF dude why didn’t you feed her? I thought daddies took care of their daughter? Oh, nevermind that’s why he didn’t so he could insure her compliance and gag reflex when he did bring food.

Is it possible to add in a table of contents at the start? I know many of the mods would be happy to help if you don’t know how. It makes it easier to navigate a multi-chapter story without reading the comments/replies.

Overall, I’m excited to see what other new experiences Marie will face. I also love that the only time she was referenced by Marie was right before her deflowering and never again. It makes that moment and her situation more poignant.

[VeraSmithy]

Hello @TromboneDalek

Thank you so much for the comment! It definitely helps me feel good and get insight in how my writing is going in a direction that readers find interesting, arousing, or, at the very least sensical and help improve with each chapter

So here's my perspective I have overall.

Daddy wants to set a dynamic that he WILL discipline if she can't obey, but he also realizes she's inexperienced and it's her first day in the first 3 chapters. I could have used a better term for her paralysis besides just being frozen. Maybe more of a numbness and catatonia like how a baby deer will just go limp even though it's wide awake and conscious. Or maybe more of an aware but disassociated state where she can still move her body but she's mentally checked out and just complies.

He also doesn't WANT to hit her, and if something is making her overwhelmed from pain he will let up a little because he does want her to see him as a loving parent, yet a stern disciplinarian. Not some psycho that gets off on her pain. From is POV at least.

I appreciate so much you understand why he deprived her of food on a practical level!

Over all I want to have her associate the idea that loving affection and basic needs can and will be given as compensation in this dynamic, so long as she will accept Daddy and love him back.

The food thing was also an attempt to get her to develop an almost pavlovian association with him and his violations with comfort and food.

He will use more tactics like this to get her to depend on him as her only source of emotional and physical comfort and basic needs. But make no mistake, there will be more fucked up things he will do to break her spirit and give up on her old life.

I hope this tightrope is being walked better with each new chapter.

Thank you again for your thoughts and feedback. I look forward to more as the series moves forward.

Also, I would very much like help making a table of contents if an admin would help me out

[RapeU]

Also, I would very much like help making a table of contents if an admin would help me out

When you post or edit a post you'll see something that says "post models" underneath the subject. Select the nonconsensual story template and it will start the index creation for you. You just have to add the link for each chapter. So how I would do it if it were my story: edit your first post, put the nonconsensual template in at the very top (be sure to give yourself a few spaces so you don't get confused), preview it, copy/paste the story part in the story section of the template, delete any excess information that isn't needed, then use this post to link to each chapter in the chapter index (which is part of the template.)

For actual chapters, use the chapter template.