Mother Knows Best - Used and Abused QF-1

[Foot Lover]

Thank you everyone for the accolades and I'm glad that everyone liked the ending. It really does make one wonder about the mother.

the rape itself relying too much on tropes that I'm a bit tired of.

Yep, I was wondering how people would react to that as I consciously wanted to evoke the familiar tropes with this one! Sometimes I like to include things that are to other's tastes but not so much mine. For instance, some people really get into interracial scenes, but that's not something that really gets me going; but I thought it would be fun to put it into this story, since these contests are really about writing for other people. Thank you for reading and commenting!

[Corvid]

Oddly, the thing I like best about the story is the little details about her route home that make it seem like she's a real person in a real place. Up to a point, I can totally see the events going down in my mind's eye.

What pulls me away from that are lines like "my womanly arch" and "dear reader", which come off sounding a bit "Letters to Penthouse", rather than a person reliving a traumatic experience. It would be fine if that tone was established from the get-go and carried throughout, but as it is, it feels like kind of a tonal lurch.

The conversations with her mother and her recollections of past ones are an interesting callback to the theme. Recognizing that the contest limits always put pressure on how much of certain things can make it in, I wouldn't have minded a bit more of that in the protagonist's psychological reactions to the attack.

It's a solid story, and I cannot fault its high score. Congratulations.

[peterfrisk]

My favourite in QF1. Really well written. Good job...