Thank you for the feedback, I admit I wasn’t going for cuckolding, as that isn’t doing anything for me either. But I enjoyed writing an erotically inexperienced man seeing his love being raped, resulting in a nasty reaction due to his own biases and upbringing. Sebastian is not the hero of the story merely the point of view I chose.Nickamano wrote: Fri Apr 18, 2025 6:42 pm Over all, I enjoyed this one. Even though there were aspects of it I don't like (not due to the writing) I'm never a fan of cuckold. This isn't strictly speaking that, but for me there is definitely an unpleasant cuckold aftertaste and it had me distracted by thought's of how the POV character could be looking for ways to escape, obviously not realistic, but it took me away from the action, of course that isn't a criticism aimed at the author, that's a me thing and a personal taste thing.
The other 'bad aftertaste' was already mentioned by Claire - his attitude to Valentina after the rapists had left. She should have come after him with a meat tenderiser for that little touch of icing on the cake. Again not a criticism aimed at the writer ("Shocker" is an apt name for that particular event though lol).
It was well written, concise, easy to follow, believable characters. Maybe have another look over from a grammatical perspective, there were some minor errors, a few misplaced commas (which we're all guilty of). Overall very enjoyable, other than the bits already mentionde.
Oh and I also enjoyed the "foreign" setting (depending on where one is from of course). It was an interesting little detail that gave the story an extra bit of original flavour. Thank you for sharing.
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Valentina
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Re: Valentina
My collected stories can be found here Shocking, positively shocking
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Re: Valentina
That was close @Shocker, you almost had it! Maybe next time!
My stories: Claire's Cesspool of Sin