Frat House Mayhem - Used and Abused R16-4

[Vile8r]

I loved this! Not so much rape fiction as a well-written crime thriller. Plenty of twists and turns and ended not in the way I expected at all. Although, I did suspect at the very start that Riley's disappearance was some sort of prank, akin to the "Hangover" movies. But what type of prank, I just wasn't sure.

[Claire]

I really like this one. It might be too ambitious for the given word limit but it reads like a great sketch for a larger story. Also, I respect the coice to have no actual sex/rape in the story. I would really like to see you elaborate on this. I would love to get into Brian's head early on when he maybe wonders whether he might have done it when he was drunk. I could also see a sex scene with Emily being interesting where he can't help himself but think back to what might have happened. There is a lot you can do with that scenario given more time. I see a lot of potential in this.

I'm not sure though whether the title of the story is doing it any favors. Frat House Mayhem sounds more like a cheap porn movie title that doesn't do the actual seriousness of the story justice in my opinion.