Trapped and broken - Gang Rape Galore

[Vela Nanashi]

Your teaser is the default text for the post template.

Two stories with police women in trouble.

Yeah, maybe unwise to approach five men, when you are just two women, even if you have guns.

I can stand -> can't

Entering a building alone is even more unwise, I mean even pizza delivery services don't send women to bad parts of town alone to deliver pizzas, or so I am told.

Oh you don't even have guns yeah... you don't go into a situation where you are outnumbered and female with no guns. Police education must be bad.

Also yeah I don't think "we are police officers" matter that much to criminals once they have already attacked you, and I am sure the uniform gives that away too.

I think "Let's go" should be "Let us go", as the first form has another meaning at least I think so, the meaning is to get started with something.

One of Maren's uniform jackets, how many are she wearing?

I doubt they were willing playthings, but maybe they submitted rather than risk being badly beaten up and hurt.

lifeless dolls I am not sure if that is correct either.

Hopefully they can tell the other police to never ever let female officers go alone to a place, and that if you see more criminals than you have cops to make sure you have guns or call for reinforcements.

Sandra at least seemed to have some sense, Maren less so, but they did not deserve any of this, clearly police education had failed them though. Ending up with that night of horrors for them. Hopefully they can teach the other police about this to prevent others from similar situations and also hopefully they remember the names of the gang members so they can have their pissed off colleagues deal with the gang properly.

[LaLia]

@RapeU

Thx, but I don't think this was my best work by far. As for minor errors, my problem is that I write in German and then translate. A few mistakes creep in now and then.

@Claire

Hmmm...why is this topic / the theme being ignored? That was gang rape, right? *confused*

@joey

The story takes place in Germany, and I think there are a lot of pretty policewomen here too I generally like this theme of the person who actually has more power falling pretty far. This is already the third story where policewomen appear.

@AdmiralPiet

As I mentioned at the beginning, I don't think this was my best work. Your points are all correct, although I subconsciously considered the location less important. Regarding the competition theme, I'm still a little confused. I must have missed something, thinking it was about gang rape.

@Shocker

Thx...nach den vorher eher etwas kritischen Feedbacks schön auch mal Lob zu hören

@chloevee

Merci Great and very detailed feedback. Yes, I definitely like incorporating mood, atmosphere, and little details.

The thing with the cheap perfume was just a cliché...it came from the men, like "it smelled of sweat and alcohol" or something.

I think the thing with the heater was actually a small logical error. I got a bit confused there because I had two ideas that I was trying to combine.

@Nickamano

I guess the word limit was a bit of a problem. I have to say that I didn't feel comfortable in this contest, but that was also partly because it fell during a stressful period, and I briefly considered not participating at all.

On the one hand, I'm annoyed because I'm actually quite a perfectionist and, as soon as I submitted it, I thought it wasn't going to be great. On the other hand, I'm happy that I still got a rating of 16. Let's look at it this way: a reason to revisit the scenario at some point and improve it. For example, I should have included the service weapons to make it more believable.

@Vela Nanashi

Fiction and realism...sometimes a fine line, but yes, there could have been better options.



Thanks to everyone for the ratings and feedback...the story seems to be doing well in the ratings, but not at all in the voting. A strange result, somehow.

[Claire]

@LaLia The theme was "Two out of three ain't bad" (see the first post of the Gang Rape Galore" contest thread). I also think that might explain why the story got little votes. People might like the story on its own terms but not as a contest entry.

[LaLia]

@LaLia The theme was "Two out of three ain't bad" (see the first post of the Gang Rape Galore" contest thread). I also think that might explain why the story got little votes. People might like the story on its own terms but not as a contest entry.

Hmm, okay, I actually missed that. I was already thinking something like that while reading the individual stories.

Now I looked again...okay, the topic was in the sentence. At first glance, though, I would have interpreted gang rape as the theme again.