Scars - Gang Rape Galore

[chloevee]

A good story that ended to quickly. Liked your first person view in the storytelling.
A quick question. How come Sarah knew that it was a front for the mob?

Sarah’s a jack of all trades type of person - except when it comes to being social outside her friends of course. Think of her as a more shy Hermionie.

I wondered about that too, as well as how she got the scars. But I really liked the mystery around Sarah. It hinted at hidden depths. I think she was my favorite character.

[RapeU]

I liked this story. I liked how you integrated the Meatloaf lyrics.

Just a couple comments/questions.

Sobbing, I complied. “Better moan, Asian” the man commanded as he violated me hard without mercy. Sarah's forced moan mingled with my genuine cry of pain as the man thrust into me. My tears fell onto her thighs as I struggled to continue what I'd been ordered to do while being violated. Each brutal thrust pushed me forward, my face pressing harder against Sarah's most intimate parts.

I like this part. I just wish it was a little longer, perhaps with a bit more buildup or variation in pacing. It feels a little odd to me that there were paragraphs about the girls unwillingly molesting each other, but the first time she is violated (which seems like a big moment) it's over in a couple of sentences.

Unless you intended to indicate it was a quick fuck, in which case I think it would benefit from that being explicit.

Hope you don't mind the minor critique!

Critique helps! I think my main issue was the inability to see it in my head and running out of steam at that point. I could have done better here if I went back to edit this part when the rest of the story was complete.

A wave of guilt washed over me as I was roughly placed on a table with my ass over a hole. My wrists and ankles were restrained with handcuffs that went to each of the table legs.

I've tried several configurations in my head, but I can't for the life of me figure out how she is positioned here.

Yeah, I had to google this myself to see if the idea was even possible. It is.

https://www.sexvid.xxx/a-hardcore-chick ... -desk.html

Though this girl is doing a blowjob, the idea is the same. Ass over the hole of the table so a cock on the bottom can go inside of it while someone simultaneously fucks her vaginally and a third person takes her orally.

[chloevee]

I've tried several configurations in my head, but I can't for the life of me figure out how she is positioned here.

Yeah, I had to google this myself to see if the idea was even possible. It is.

https://www.sexvid.xxx/a-hardcore-chick ... -desk.html

Though this girl is doing a blowjob, the idea is the same. Ass over the hole of the table so a cock on the bottom can go inside of it while someone simultaneously fucks her vaginally and a third person takes her orally.

Ok, that was one of the things I thought of, I just wasn't sure how it worked for the guy under the table. But seeing this I realize it's just a really low table. I imagined it at the height of maybe a dining room table and I think that'd be tough to manage.

Still, dude's gotta have great core strength. Good for him.

[Nickamano]

This was fantastic writing over all. Great characterisation of the three girls. Scary situation you put them in. Very dark read, makes the heart race.

One criticism and one thought.

- the timing for Mer's gangrape - for me - doesn't tie in to the relatively short duration of the forced girl-on-girl / rape of Lucy. It felt to me like Lucy zoned out and when she came around Mer was back in the room having satisfied all the other guys very quickly.

(always have a major soft spot for overhearing gangrapes in adjoining rooms too, I think its that aspect of using one's own imagination to picture what's going on rather than having it all described... even though I enjoy that too...hmmm.)

The though was it might have worked closer with the two-out-of-three theme if only two of the girl's had been able to escape. They could have felt a continual guilt over having to abandon one of their group, even though they could still have met the Patrol Car outside and had the third member of the group rescued anyway... Just a thought...

Overall great writing. And thanks for adding your entry into the competition.

[RapeU]

This was fantastic writing over all. Great characterisation of the three girls. Scary situation you put them in. Very dark read, makes the heart race.

One criticism and one thought.

- the timing for Mer's gangrape - for me - doesn't tie in to the relatively short duration of the forced girl-on-girl / rape of Lucy. It felt to me like Lucy zoned out and when she came around Mer was back in the room having satisfied all the other guys very quickly.

Ooo, that's something I didn't think about and is indeed a flaw within the story. I'll need to be more mindful of that if I do something similar in the future.

The though was it might have worked closer with the two-out-of-three theme if only two of the girl's had been able to escape. They could have felt a continual guilt over having to abandon one of their group, even though they could still have met the Patrol Car outside and had the third member of the group rescued anyway... Just a thought...

That's a possibility. The danger level would need to increase quite a bit for two of them to intentionally leave one behind though.

[Lux]

Hi hi RapeU! This was a fun story to read! Thank you for writing it! I did love the way it started and ended with a song and how it compared the girls at the start and then at the finish!