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Claire wrote: Fri May 02, 2025 10:49 am
You do well writing stories that are a little longer, @Shocker. I think the slower buildup paid off nicely here. I also liked that you didn't make her a virgin. Not because I dislike virgin victims in stories, but because I think that would have been one cliché too many. Did you ever think about what became of Lena after the end of the story? Stories like this always make me wonder for how long a sex slave like Lena could actually survive this. At some point, this has to do some permanent damage to her body at least, I think.
edit: I upgraded my rating for the first chapter from 1 to 2.
She definitely won't survive 23 cm for long without damage.
Completely fulfills the cliché.
And yes, the last part was good. I also think the whole thing surrounding it is well described. So, taking your time, as Claire said, is a plus.
Claire wrote: Fri May 02, 2025 10:49 am
You do well writing stories that are a little longer, @Shocker. I think the slower buildup paid off nicely here. I also liked that you didn't make her a virgin. Not because I dislike virgin victims in stories, but because I think that would have been one cliché too many. Did you ever think about what became of Lena after the end of the story? Stories like this always make me wonder for how long a sex slave like Lena could actually survive this. At some point, this has to do some permanent damage to her body at least, I think.
edit: I upgraded my rating for the first chapter from 1 to 2.
She definitely won't survive 23 cm for long without damage.
Completely fulfills the cliché.
And yes, the last part was good. I also think the whole thing surrounding it is well described. So, taking your time, as Claire said, is a plus.
Thank you, truth to be told, I’m not really known for short stories, anything under 3000 words is usually a challenge, but I very rarely ever get to 10000 words . I always liked how this one turned out, not bad gor a second attempt.