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Claire wrote: Fri May 02, 2025 10:49 am
You do well writing stories that are a little longer, @Shocker. I think the slower buildup paid off nicely here. I also liked that you didn't make her a virgin. Not because I dislike virgin victims in stories, but because I think that would have been one cliché too many. Did you ever think about what became of Lena after the end of the story? Stories like this always make me wonder for how long a sex slave like Lena could actually survive this. At some point, this has to do some permanent damage to her body at least, I think.
edit: I upgraded my rating for the first chapter from 1 to 2.
She definitely won't survive 23 cm for long without damage.
Completely fulfills the cliché.
And yes, the last part was good. I also think the whole thing surrounding it is well described. So, taking your time, as Claire said, is a plus.
Claire wrote: Fri May 02, 2025 10:49 am
You do well writing stories that are a little longer, @Shocker. I think the slower buildup paid off nicely here. I also liked that you didn't make her a virgin. Not because I dislike virgin victims in stories, but because I think that would have been one cliché too many. Did you ever think about what became of Lena after the end of the story? Stories like this always make me wonder for how long a sex slave like Lena could actually survive this. At some point, this has to do some permanent damage to her body at least, I think.
edit: I upgraded my rating for the first chapter from 1 to 2.
She definitely won't survive 23 cm for long without damage.
Completely fulfills the cliché.
And yes, the last part was good. I also think the whole thing surrounding it is well described. So, taking your time, as Claire said, is a plus.
Thank you, truth to be told, I’m not really known for short stories, anything under 3000 words is usually a challenge, but I very rarely ever get to 10000 words . I always liked how this one turned out, not bad gor a second attempt.
1) What did I immediately feel after reading this
2) What I love about what I read
3) What would I change in the story to make it perfect (for me)
4) Did I get off on this and why
1) Felt like it was a good short/medium story
2) Like Claire said, the virgin trope is so overused. It was nice to have a victim with sexual experience. It makes stories more realistic that way.
3) In the first post it was stated that the rebel group was a low thread, I think you meant to write "threat." Minor typeo, but it didn't distract from the story.
RapeU wrote: Wed Jun 18, 2025 2:39 pm
1) What did I immediately feel after reading this
2) What I love about what I read
3) What would I change in the story to make it perfect (for me)
4) Did I get off on this and why
1) Felt like it was a good short/medium story
2) Like Claire said, the virgin trope is so overused. It was nice to have a victim with sexual experience. It makes stories more realistic that way.
3) In the first post it was stated that the rebel group was a low thread, I think you meant to write "threat." Minor typeo, but it didn't distract from the story.
4) Yup, see 2)
Thank you for your feedback and the heads up, I’ll fix it as soon as I get back on my computer. But to be honest they might be low thread as well, those rebels are not well known for their textile production.
Oh yes! I remember this one from RU. Colonel Zambesi filling his camouflage uniform with his large belly... Lena reduced to sex slavery... This was one of the first interracial stories I ever read. My own Colonel Bobozo from "Mutiny in Thysville" is similar to that overweight, 45-yo Zambesi, except he had to return the girls to the authorities after two days since it was a mutiny/hostage crisis. Lena's fate is far darker. This was also posted on TBV if I remember correctly.
Lots of thought given to details such as pale skin = newly arrived, sunstroke, blonde = exotic, etc.
HistBuff wrote: Fri Jun 20, 2025 4:20 am
Oh yes! I remember this one from RU. Colonel Zambesi filling his camouflage uniform with his large belly... Lena reduced to sex slavery... This was one of the first interracial stories I ever read. My own Colonel Bobozo from "Mutiny in Thysville" is similar to that overweight, 45-yo Zambesi, except he had to return the girls to the authorities after two days since it was a mutiny/hostage crisis. Lena's fate is far darker. This was also posted on TBV if I remember correctly.
Lots of thought given to details such as pale skin = newly arrived, sunstroke, blonde = exotic, etc.
Thank you Histbuff, this is high praise indeed.
One of the reasons my stories get so little response here, is because they are all old stuff. I know far too many people on here, that would have read the story on RU, RD, RC or TBV. I do tend to publish my whole catalogue on any siteI’m active on, actually RU might have had the smallest part of my work, asI had left the site. But yes stories like Africa, Pirates or English Vacation do pop up frequently, as I’m rather proud about my first 2 and my longest story.
The stories I’m culling are the ones I’m not overly happy with, but that still leaves me about 40 stories still to publish here.
Shocker wrote: Fri Jun 20, 2025 11:40 am
One of the reasons my stories get so little response here, is because they are all old stuff. I know far too many people on here, that would have read the story on RU, RD, RC or TBV. I do tend to publish my whole catalogue on any siteI’m active on, actually RU might have had the smallest part of my work, asI had left the site. But yes stories like Africa, Pirates or English Vacation do pop up frequently, as I’m rather proud about my first 2 and my longest story.
The stories I’m culling are the ones I’m not overly happy with, but that still leaves me about 40 stories still to publish here.
I know what it's like to have derelict stories floating around in derelict sites such as TBV. I have readers writing me and asking me to re-post this or that story that is now unavailable. Quite frankly, I feel a lot more like writing new stories, and when I repost old stories, I rewrite them quite a lot. One of those stories was first posted on a site that doesn't allow non-consent, so of course I rewrote it! And besides, is there ever a story the writer is perfectly happy with?
I'm at peace with not reposting some stories from RU. @Claire was kind enough to transmit the content of my Gladiator story as it's one long story I would absolutely hate to re-write from scratch, and it has lots of interesting stuff in; e.g. I basically invented the remnants of Samnite culture in middle Italy, including a dish made from viper meat called Invidia "the dish of Envy" (from Ovid's depiction of Envy as an old woman eating vipers for breakfast). There's also a description of Mount Vesuvus five years before it erupted --- it was a lot higher as it lost a third of its height during that devastating eruption. So there's a lot lot more than gang-rapes in that story.
