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SoftGameHunter wrote: Wed Sep 24, 2025 1:16 am
Then there's a bit of fridge horror after the ending sinks in. Sure, she can identify him, but only if she's alive to report it. It's like all the movies where the bad guy says "You've seen my face. How unfortunate for you." Marvin may not feel like a killer, but faced with a life-ending prison term or getting away with it, he might go a darker direction. The real misstep may well have been Leah's, speaking up as she did.
I agree with you in principle, but I don't think it matters this much in this situation. Remember that he is severely hurt and bleeding profusely. And Leah is free to move, she isn't bound or anything. Even if he decided to kill her, she could just easily outrun him with his wounded foot.
But on a different matter: What make you read this partcular story? It must have been on page 4 or 5 at least, it has a low rating, not many views or replies, so it shouldn't stand out in the mass of older stories on the later pages. Did you to a search for a specific tag or was it just coincidence?
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My stories: Claire's Cesspool of Sin. I'm always happy to receive a comment on my stories, even more so on an older one!
Claire wrote: Wed Sep 24, 2025 1:40 pm
I agree with you in principle, but I don't think it matters this much in this situation. Remember that he is severely hurt and bleeding profusely. And Leah is free to move, she isn't bound or anything. Even if he decided to kill her, she could just easily outrun him with his wounded foot.
But on a different matter: What make you read this partcular story? It must have been on page 4 or 5 at least, it has a low rating, not many views or replies, so it shouldn't stand out in the mass of older stories on the later pages. Did you to a search for a specific tag or was it just coincidence?
Nothing special. I'm new to this forum and there are only eight pages of stories going back only a few months, so everything is fairly new. I was perusing and I think I saw some comment you made somewhere that this story focused more on the violent acts or something like that, and that made it weaker. So naturally I clicked to find out. It was the double meaning in the title that made me comment on it. I figure, even if your understanding of the characters' headspaces was that the guy was fleeing, as a reader I don't necessarily foresee that outcome. In my mind, unless the story continues, we've got essentially a wounded animal fighting for its life, and a prey that's recently traumatized in a room with only one exit. To me, anything could happen in the next minute, and I thought that double meaning in the title was worth notice.