Aisha's Ambition - June/July Community Contest

[RapeU]

I must admit I'm slightly confused, is it Armando to Amanda or Amanda to Armando?

Those poor ladies can't get a break, being taken advantage of over and over again. Glad I finally get around reading the entries for the contest. Rating will occur once I have read them all, as always.,

Born male with the name Armando Barkley

Armando transitioned to female and became Amanda Barkley at some point after puberty but before high school. Did not have surgery to remove male genitalia.

[AdmiralPiet]

Seen as a standalone story this is a good entry to the contest, and nice execution of the promps. I like the oil one. That was the hardest one in this contest.

However "Overcoonfidence" could also have been a prompt here. Aisha acts very very very... not clever.

But I do share @Claire's sentiment:
The lack of direction is not as bad for my as it is for Claire.
You had a very good start with "The Blowout", and that laid the groundwork for the - in my eyes even better - "Two broken, One whole."
Zoe's misadventures had a new cue due to Mark.

But I feel you overplayed your hand here.
I think you can use such spinoffs for a contest if it is written in a way that a new reader can understand the story as a standalone. If you do this you should use characters from the universe, hide some easter eggs, but not use your main characters.

With the main characters it is in a way not you that is writing the overall story, but the contest prompts.
That makes it feel disjointed.

[RapeU]

I think you can use such spinoffs for a contest if it is written in a way that a new reader can understand the story as a standalone. If you do this you should use characters from the universe, hide some easter eggs, but not use your main characters.

With the main characters it is in a way not you that is writing the overall story, but the contest prompts.
That makes it feel disjointed.

This is excellent advice. Thank you

[Lucius]

Aisha, Aisha, écoute-moi, don't be so silly!

Somewhere between grade school and high school, Armando became Amanda Barkley.

Hannah and I never made the connection between last names.

Forget overconfidence, the onomast in me finds this part especially difficult to comprehend!

It works as a standalone entry, but that requires a lot of explaining on part of Aisha to get the ball rolling. Yeah, and the gals in this universe... If it weren't for bad luck, they wouldn't have no luck at all.

[RapeU]

Aisha, Aisha, écoute-moi, don't be so silly!

She's definitely not going to think "nah that won't happen to me, I can handle it on my own" anymore

Somewhere between grade school and high school, Armando became Amanda Barkley.

Hannah and I never made the connection between last names.

Forget overconfidence, the onomast in me finds this part especially difficult to comprehend!

With my interest in genealogy, I'd probably be like "I wonder if there's a relationship somewhere." The average person wouldn't make the connection though.

It works as a standalone entry, but that requires a lot of explaining on part of Aisha to get the ball rolling. Yeah, and the gals in this universe... If it weren't for bad luck, they wouldn't have no luck at all.

Yeah, I'm at the point where if I try to help readers by catching them up with the main cast there's too much of an exposition dump. @AdmiralPiet's advice about using different people in the universe away from the main cast is a golden ticket of future standalone stories.