Late to the Party

[Claire]

It’s funny I just read LATE Satisfaction and now I’m reading LATE to the party

I like to connect my stories, but I swear that this time there is no connection. The name of the sorority is an hommage to the game Being a DIK, though.

This was a very fun read! 2nd person isn’t a mode u see too often, but of course you pulled it off very well.

Thanks! If you haven't tried it before, I can only recommend it. It naturally invites a more conversational tone. I would only caution against writing second person like you would third person but with different pronouns. In my opinion, the most important thing about second person narration is to ask yourself the question what purpose this special pov serves in your story. The answer I arrived at for both second person stories I wrote so far is implicating the reader. We're all reading stories that some would consider unethical. So to lean into that unease and choose a narrative where the pov character is conflicted about enjoying the rape is a natural way to speak to the reader who might feel conflicted about reading our stories. Leaning into that unease can be very powerful.

That being said, properly not a good strategy for a contest story. Offering instant gratification and uncomplicated indulgence in a power fantasy is less likely to alienate readers than trying to make the reader feel uncomfortable about their enjoyment of taboo fiction.

it’s common slang to use the formula of adjective-ass-noun to take the place of the word “very”

Okay, I did not think of that at all...

Speaking of those nicknames, the ever pupating monikers were a very creative literary device. It was fun to read the Narrator’s interpretation of the characters around him with the changing names.

It was something I wanted to experiment with because it allows to convey and reinforce information and personality without having to write more detailed lines of narration. And once the reader has been taught the mechanism, the final punchline of the story basically writes itself.

Gotta comment on the American slander

Hehe, another benefit of second person narration. You can casually insult your readers while hiding behind the story.

cosplaying as R-Kelly being trapped in the closet…

I think that image will accompany me for a while now...

Wonder how he’d end up convincing himself he’s not such a bad guy after he’s done “having his way” with ruined-girl when he was supposed to be getting help something tells me he’d find a way tho

Maybe you can write that sequel that @Labaal was asking for.

[LaLia]

Cool story and tough competition for this contest.

But I love having strong opponents; it makes the victory taste all the sweeter.

Now, getting into your story: At first, I immediately thought, "Wait, 'Late'... didn't Claire have something else with that title?" It starts off like a proper party—holding hair back while someone pukes, beer cups turning into ashtrays. It instantly reminded me of a classic village party back home.

Jokes aside, a sense of horror sets in quickly—especially from a female perspective. I think, at times, we’ve all come close to ending up in a similar situation; for instance, I never leave a drink unattended. It’s a problem that I don't think men are even aware of.

Everyone already knew your writing style was excellent and your level of detail high before even reading the story. You’ve confirmed that once again here. But one thing I wondered was: why the "comedy" tag? Sure, there are a few moments that make you smile, but I feel it’s a far cry from actual comedy. Still, the conversations were entertaining.

Right now, I’m leaning towards a rating of 2.5. Why? For one, I felt the lack of a conscious victim. Yes, I know—rape while the victim is asleep is a popular genre, but something was missing for me there. Plus, I keep thinking you’d have to wake up at some point. Surely you can't be *that* wasted or out of it?

My second minor criticism concerns the contest theme. Yes, you technically hit the "You" theme, but I felt it wasn't utilized enough; the focus often remained heavily on the actions, making it read like a third-person narrative. In your previous "You" story, you really leaned into that perspective—the story only made sense because of it. Here, while you can see the second-person perspective, the story could just as easily have been told in the third person, since the protagonist (the reader) remains a fairly passive observer.


I’m holding off on the rating for now, but was I right that the decision is being made via a poll this time, rather than a rating?

[Claire]

@LaLia It's actually fairly simple regarding how a contest is decided. Season contests are decided by poll, community contests are decided by rating. @RapeU should probably add the information how the voting is done for the season contests to the contest threads. I think currently it only says "Voting Window: One week." but doesn't specify the voting mechanism.

Cool story and tough competition for this contest.

But I love having strong opponents; it makes the victory taste all the sweeter.

Don't worry about that. I didn't write the story for the contest and I generally don't write stories I'd consider likely to win. The idea for the story was actually inspired by the Party Hard contest, not the current one, and I expeccted not to make the necessary word count for the longest time. But having three rapists and a voyeur turned out to require quite a few more words than my usual one on one stories. I'd be very surprised if this story gets a lot of votes. I'd be more worried about @RapeU, who has done quite well throughout the season.

At first, I immediately thought, "Wait, 'Late'... didn't Claire have something else with that title?

Only the translation of Späte Genugtuung which is titled Late Satisfaction in English. But I don't think I've used the word late in the title of any other story.

But one thing I wondered was: why the "comedy" tag? Sure, there are a few moments that make you smile, but I feel it’s a far cry from actual comedy. Still, the conversations were entertaining.

I'd say the story has a very comedic tone early on. I wondered whether people would feel that this would take away from the seriousness of the situation. But the current poll seems to lean heavily toward a no.

Plus, I keep thinking you’d have to wake up at some point. Surely you can't be *that* wasted or out of it?

She's not just drunk, but drugged, and when she does start to regain consciousness, they drug her again.

[sinfulwords]

Maybe even the record chaser and late satisfaction "indulgence pieces" which I've mentioned in my other posts too

Maybe you can write that sequel that @Labaal was asking for.

[/quote]

Lol maaaaybe I've got QUITE a lot of my own story ideas piling up, but, I'll keep the concept in my back pocket

[sinfulwords]

I like to connect my stories, but I swear that this time there is no connection. The name of the sorority is an hommage to the game Being a DIK, though.

I was just commenting on the coincidence that I just so happened to JUST finish Late Satisfaction and then your next story has the same word int he title I'm easily amused so I found that entertaining. My massive comment for Late Satisfaction will come over the weekend btw

It was something I wanted to experiment with because it allows to convey and reinforce information and personality without having to write more detailed lines of narration. And once the reader has been taught the mechanism, the final punchline of the story basically writes itself.

LOVED that final line, fam, it was a SUPERB ending

I think that image will accompany me for a while now...

"Shit, think, shit, think, shit, quick, put me in the closet / And now I'm in this darkest closet, tryin' to figure out / Just how I'm gonna get my crazy ass up out this house." I'm not a huge R-Kelly fan but ofc I've watched the Trapped in The Closet rap opera

Maybe you can write that sequel that @Labaal was asking for.

MAAAAAAYBE I am trying to stray away from FF at this point, but I shall not reject the idea outright. If I did do a Fan Fiction of your work I'd OF COURSE have you beta read

[VictimEyes]

"Late To The Party" ........."A Day Late And A Dime short".................pretty much the story of my life !!!!

I was hooked immediately.

I am NOT scared to divulge my choice of vote (And I don't understand why others are). I voted for this entry after reading it last.

[Interception]

Damn strong story and definitely a 3 rating.

Gang as a theme always seems to be appealing and what you have in it lyrically is also very great cinema. Really difficult to decide: content, conversations, ideas, structure, feeling....all things where I find your and Lia's story on a similarly strong level. For the contest, however, I choose Dark Memories because the "you" prompt appealed to me a little more there.

I think it will be a damn exciting contest and I wouldn't be surprised to see two new stories with a 30 rating at the end

[Claire]

@VictimEyes Thanks, I appreciate the vote of confidence. I also have no issue divulging who I vote for in contests. But since I usually vote for a story that ends up losing, I'm not sure whether the authors actually appreciate that. I don't want to be bad omen.

@Interception Thanks!

[Vela Nanashi]

Teaser: Both men and women may respond to visual stimuli, and sound, scent etc, even if our intellect does not want us to.

I never understood why people get puke/pass out drunk, what is the point? You won't remember shit after that and at least I enjoy having my mind functional, of course I enjoy a drink from time to time, just not to the point where I am impaired, and I like the drink to be interesting, wood cask aged stuff, preferably older than me, though that is getting harder to come by as I am ancient, and also some nice ales, and even nice rum, but not the cheap stuff and not rocket fuel vodka Though I suppose vodka if pure is useful for extracting interesting things from herbs. Sorry for this silly tangent

I suppose I can't identify with the protagonist, as myself, but I now dub protagonist Bob, and imagine possessing Bob, let's see if that works better

Falling up the stairs without getting hurt and somehow sort of remain vaguely vertical? impressive when drunk to be sure.

Lol I feel like an alien observing this, but that is not really that new for me I wonder if I were to insert sharpened metal brain sippy straw into head and drink if I would get drunk too, no wait that is me channeling a mindflayer again.

Strange internal dialogue, looking never hurt anyone, well, maybe not never, but that is why you should wear mirror shades indoors keeps gaze secret yes Bob is not wise to this secret though, probably not cool enough for that

Bob, see, your brain may not be impaired by alcohol, but you are impaired by nice ass girl, so you are what 10 to 20 or maybe 30 IQ points below normal right now Does not change responsible behaviour needs, but does make those harder for some people I think. You should have kept the drink cup, sans drink, as a hat to impress her with

Finding some commonality with her, cute You could be nice and close her door, maybe even lock it and toss the key under the door, once you are done snooping in her room anyway.

Foot fetish Bob

Why hide in closet? Close the door silly Bob.

Jack says to Bob "you also hiding out in the closet eh?" sorry silly mood.

So you are no hero Bob? You could document if you have a phone with camera, but yeah it is rational to think you can't defeat the trio, however sometimes you just need to have crazy eyes and actually confront to make people stop even when outnumbered.

As for nicknames they are funny, but I can't pull that off, so I will stick with Bob.

She likes purple just like me.

I seem to have lost the pointer references with all the name changes but that is fine

Bob and I don't share the point of view of what is going on though.

Risky to bite a cock of such a Wang like this dude.

Seems unsafe to give her another pill, there is a risk of overdose, though I am sure they don't care, and that I don't know the safe range of whatever drug they are using and how that interacts with alcohol...

Lots of dna evidence too, in addition to the phone evidence.

Ok so Bob is at least helping a little.

Your writing is good as usual, with a certain silly comedic aspect to it. Not quite my cup of tea or coffee though, despite trying I got kicked out of Bob, and my commentary is probably not the best ever.

Gonna kick this story to popular where it belongs after the contest

[Claire]

I never understood why people get puke/pass out drunk, what is the point? You won't remember shit after that and at least I enjoy having my mind functional, of course I enjoy a drink from time to time, just not to the point where I am impaired, and I like the drink to be interesting, wood cask aged stuff, preferably older than me, though that is getting harder to come by as I am ancient, and also some nice ales, and even nice rum, but not the cheap stuff and not rocket fuel vodka Though I suppose vodka if pure is useful for extracting interesting things from herbs. Sorry for this silly tangent

When I started writing this story, I didn't expect it to trigger you into divulging your drinking habits. I call that a success.

I suppose I can't identify with the protagonist, as myself, but I now dub protagonist Bob, and imagine possessing Bob, let's see if that works better

Did it help?

no wait that is me channeling a mindflayer again.

No mindflayers in this story. That would haven been quite the twist, though!

Finding some commonality with her, cute You could be nice and close her door, maybe even lock it and toss the key under the door, once you are done snooping in her room anyway.

He'd have to find the key first.

Seems unsafe to give her another pill, there is a risk of overdose

Yeah, that's why I addressed that concern at the end of the story. I'd say that likely even a single pill is dangerous as I'm sure that this isn't some licensed product they are giving her...

with a certain silly comedic aspect to it

Yeah, I had fun writing that. That is why I considered the comedy tag. But I followed the majority in the now deleted poll and decided against it.