Record Chaser

[Claire]

Funny thing about the livestream...I was wondering the whole time during the first part if and how this story was related to Men at War. Sequel, prequel, or something...after your first comment, I understand

I have to make a note of Rapegiving Holiday, that gives me an idea.

I think it's brilliant how you drag out the whole thing; the conversation in the third chapter is really great. I think time references in a story are usually written as a time-lapse. You manage to make you experience the countdown practically 1:1. And his character, in particular, is presented really well.

And then in the last chapter, the same style...I like stories where you can put yourself in the victim's shoes, and you do that very well here. It's a somewhat atypical type of rape, I think, almost seductive, not degrading or overly harsh. But it fits into the overall structure. You tagged "unfinished," so I think something else will come. But actually, it would have been kind of brilliant to end the story that way. It would have had that WTF moment.

P.S.: Horny Lia took a 10-minute cold shower because it's gotten so damn hot in here. :D

First, did you just digitally 69 me? Naughty, naughty...

There is actually one story with a minor connection to Men at War. And that is Die Unendliche Vergewaltigung. There is only one named character in that story named Jimmy who is asked whether he wants to participate in the gang rape but declines. That is supposed to be the same Jimmy as in Men at War.

Feel free to make use of that rapesgiving joke however you want. I'm curious what your disturbed mind will come up with.

The story is still unfinished. It is currently 7 chapters long and I'm writing the 8th. It will probably be 10 or 11 in the end. But the next chapter is a special one for me. That one had me really drained after writing it and I had to take a long pause after it.

I never thought about ending a story more or less in the middle of the action like you suggested here, but I can see why you like the idea. It would be quite daring to do that and to resist the urge to go on. I'm not sure whether I would be disciplined enough for that.

Loved your feedback, Lia. I know it's a lot to read, so it's much appreciated!

[Claire]

Chapter 5 – The Difference between Sex and Rape


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• Record Chaser (AO3)

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[LaLia]

A really well-written piece that reveals incredibly powerful thoughts. I think that his thoughts are more in focus is intentional, right? The fact that you address anatomical things like cramping or simply the fact that one doesn't tend to get wet is super realistic, and I think, sorry, men, that's often not so clear to them. I always find stories where rape suddenly turns into pleasurable sex a bit strange.

Can you start to enjoy it? I think it's very, very difficult, that it goes beyond the level of endurance or the fear of playing along. Your thought about "for strategic reasons, it would have been better if..." was exactly what would probably go through a victim's mind.

In general, you start very softly, not the typical rape, and if she weren't a virgin, I'd say she's lucky. But you've incorporated a lot of what the perpetrator or victim would think or feel incredibly well. It's interesting to consider whether there are rapists who aren't interested in power! I've always seen this as a motif in my fantasies and stories. But I also find it difficult to understand what else could be the big trigger, because the fact that it can also hurt the man is never really addressed in a story.

Conclusion: I think "profound" is the right word to describe your story. And even though there comes a point where things get more intense, the sexual act is less of a focus here.

[Claire]

A really well-written piece that reveals incredibly powerful thoughts. I think that his thoughts are more in focus is intentional, right? The fact that you address anatomical things like cramping or simply the fact that one doesn't tend to get wet is super realistic, and I think, sorry, men, that's often not so clear to them. I always find stories where rape suddenly turns into pleasurable sex a bit strange.

Can you start to enjoy it? I think it's very, very difficult, that it goes beyond the level of endurance or the fear of playing along. Your thought about "for strategic reasons, it would have been better if..." was exactly what would probably go through a victim's mind.

In general, you start very softly, not the typical rape, and if she weren't a virgin, I'd say she's lucky. But you've incorporated a lot of what the perpetrator or victim would think or feel incredibly well. It's interesting to consider whether there are rapists who aren't interested in power! I've always seen this as a motif in my fantasies and stories. But I also find it difficult to understand what else could be the big trigger, because the fact that it can also hurt the man is never really addressed in a story.

Conclusion: I think "profound" is the right word to describe your story. And even though there comes a point where things get more intense, the sexual act is less of a focus here.

Thank you so much for the kind words. I think that is the first time somebody called my writing profound.

His thoughts being more in focus in this chapter is intentional, to a degree at least. I also wanted to give Claire a lot of room here in this back and forth. I find her moment of realization that she will now forever be a rape victim... haunting and her dissociative state shortly before he comes difficult to read. But Mark is in a sense the protagonist of this chapter. He is the one who struggles, overcomes obstacles and goes through a moment of realization that leaves him a more fulfilled person at the end of the chapter. And Claire is the main antagonist in his story who tries to stop him, first won't let him in at all, bites him, until his own body becomes his main enemy. Weird as that may sound, but that is how the chapter is told in a way.

When it comes to the issue of arousal/orgasm during rape it is actually hard to find anything reliable on that. What I found on the issue, numbers fluctuate from 5% to 50% of all victims experiencing arousal/orgasm during nonconsensual sex. The important point is not to interpret a physical reaction as them wanting it or even as enjoyment. The same is btw true for men who also can experience unwanted erections during sexual abuse which, from what I read, can be even more shameful for them because it feeds into the narrative that "men can't be raped".

I wouldn't say that Mark is not interested in power. He himself doesn't even deny that. It is just a framing that doesn't help him understand himself, he views it as "too abtract". Seeing it as a form of competition, as winning is what gets him off. And of course, beating someone else in a competition is a form of exerting power over someone else.

The idea for Claire cramping up so much that penetration was near impossible was mostly inspired by this article I had read a while ago. Of course I knew before reading that that a vagina can cramp up a lot, but I don't think I knew anyone who had to struggle with this as much as Leonie from that article. I just thought it was an interesting idea to include in a rape scene. The other aspect that inspired me was that I read that, if I remember correctly, up to 50% of all rapes, or rape attempts I should say, fail. We usually portray raping a woman as easy and to a degree that comes with it being rape fantasy. But I found the thought that a serial rapist like Mark might have become familiar with women cramping up over the course of his "career" an interesting detail to explore.

I hesitate a bit to call this rape "soft". It is true that physically, her body isn't destroyed after that. And apart from me not finding that particularly interesting, it also wouldn't work from a purely narrative perspective. If from this moment on forward Claire would be in such extreme physical pain that even the slightest touch would have her howling in agony, she would no longer be a character in this story. You simply can not have a character in a long narrative whose only thoughts and feelings revolve around the physical pain of it all. In scenes like this, I tend to portray the psychological brutality of it in the descriptions I use. In this case for example, as the physical intensity of the act increases, Mark is described as outright monstrous in the end. And Claire uses imagery like "she felt like she had been violated by a garden hose". To me, a description of the emotional trauma like this feels more brutal while reading than any "Her breasts were bruised, her nose broken and her pussy bleeding from the barrage of punches and thrusts." ever could. But that might just be me.

Anyway, I'll talk a bit more about this in my next post.

[Claire]

I would like to share with you a bit about how I wrote Record Chaser up to this point. I would love to hear your thoughts on this.

The Intent

When I started to write Record Chaser, I wanted to write a story that didn't shy away from the traumatic nature of rape. I wanted to put it front and center. I also wanted to depict a rapist who is not just an unfeeling psychopath. Rape is such a common occurrence in the real world but we like to think of rapists as monsters. But in general, it occurs far too often to be just something that psychopaths without the capacity for empathy do. That is why I decided to have Mark struggle with guilt. As far as Claire is concerned, I wanted her to be likeable. I didn't want to tell a story that made readers think "The bitch had it coming", that leaned into the fantasy of a manipulating woman being a cocktease getting her comeuppance. I wanted the descriptions of her rape to be arousing, but I wanted it to be arousing despite it feeling tragic and traumatic, not because it downplayed those aspects. When I read stories on RavishU before I registered there, I felt like only few stories actually engaged with that. So I was trying to fill a gap there that I perceived as a reader before I became an author myself.


What the story means to me

As the first story I ever wrote, it obviously has a special place in my heart. Im surprised with how satisfied I am still with it. And I needed to take a break from it after finishing chapter 5, for multiple reasons. When I really get into a story I'm writing, I can feel quite strong emotions. I can't read the final chapter of Men at War without laughing at the absurdity of it and I can't read chapter 3 part 2 of Späte Genugtuung (Late Satisfaction) without crying. But chapter 5 of Record Chaser was in a different league. I felt disgusted by myself after I finished writing that. Maybe I delved in too deep into Mark's mindset, but portraying the final sentence of that chapter as this great revelation... Ugh, I still shudder a bit at the thought when I think too much about it. Looking back on it now, I am not surprised that the next few stories I wrote weren't nearly as heavy. An Unfortunate Misstep is just a forgettable quicky, Men at War is a satire, Venus' Touch for the most part is plain romantic and then I wrote a tribute story for another user on RavishU that had comedic elements to it. It was only then, more than a month later, that I was ready to get back into the darker tone of Record Chaser and its sister story Späte Genugtuung.

Of everything I wrote, chapter 5 of Record Chaser is also the most arousing for me. Of everything I wrote, this is what I masturbated the most to. I just love how wrong it feels to find the content of this chapter hot. I've been told by a reader in the past that he had to suppress his empathy for the victim to find a scene hot. But to me it's the other way around. The more I feel for the victim, the more arousing does that tension between "This is so wrong!" and "This is so hot..." get.


What I had planned

When I started writing, I had these first 5 chapters planned. Originally, I expected Chapter 3 and 4 to be just one chapter, but the basic outline of the events remained the same. That is why you can see bits of foreshadowing or elements established in the first few chapters that come into play only later. There is the green light she notices that turns out to be an alarm clock or for example the following line from Claire's narration in chapter 2:

It was not inconceivable that a woman on the upper end of the normal distribution in female strength and height might be able to physically compete with Mark

Most people don't talk or think like that but once you get her background in mathematics in chapter 3, this inner voice makes sense and doesn't feel so out of place anymore. And there is many things like that where information is casually revealed or hinted at in the narration or dialogue. I always wondered whether readers noticed any of that.


Where to go from here?

Another reason why it took me some time to continue writing the story was that I had honestly barely any idea how to follow chapter 5. After I published chapter 6, the user JTCK on RavishU put it like this:

(...)Many stories follow the same path. After the first vaginal rape follows a second (mostly oral) and a third (anal) rape. They may be well written and hot, but predictable. Not so this story.(...)

And he was right about that. I could have escalated the sexual abuse, but I could never keep up the emotional tension of chapter 5 without the reader becoming numb to it. I had 4 chapters and 13,083 words of build up for chapter 5 and now all that tension had been released. I could not simply continue like this without giving the story a moment to breath.

The second problem I faced was: How can I keep writing Claire as an active character? If this was a 3,000 word short story, then having a woman chained up in a basement is not a huge problem in terms of agency of characters, especially if the story is told from the rapist's perspective. But in a long narrative it would just be boring to have her be a passive character that does now get raped in 7 different ways and then the story is over. Over those first 5 chapters, I think I managed to establish a back and forth dynamic between Mark and Claire. But he is ultimately the one with all the power. Giving Mark these self-imposed rules he adheres to does not only make him more interesting as a character in my opinion, but it also gives Claire the possibility to resist in certain ways. If he didn't have those rules, he could just break any sign of resistance from her by holding a knife to her throat.

So chapter 6 naturally needed to be a bit of a reset point for the story that gave the narrative a moment to breath and that returned some agency and focus to Claire. I'm curious to see what you will think about how I handled that once I publish chapter 6.



So yeah, these are some insights in what I wanted to do with the story, what it means to me and what I struggled with during the writing process. Do these things come through in the writing? Did I say anything that was surprising to you after having read the story so far? I'd be really curious to hear your thoughts on this.

[Blue]

An unusual story. Unusual primarily because it's so dialogue-heavy. Which isn't necessarily a bad thing, but rather unusual, at least for me.
The last part, in particular, made me curious to see what would happen after midnight. Can Mark actually put his plan into action? Or will Claire still manage to change his mind and avoid the rapes?

[Claire]

An unusual story. Unusual primarily because it's so dialogue-heavy. Which isn't necessarily a bad thing, but rather unusual, at least for me.
The last part, in particular, made me curious to see what would happen after midnight. Can Mark actually put his plan into action? Or will Claire still manage to change his mind and avoid the rapes?

I'm not sure how far you've read exactly, but it sounds to me like you are at the end of either chapter 2 or 3? There is currently 5 chapters published and... you will find out what happens after midnight if you read those chapters you seem to have overlooked. I hope that didn't spoil anything.

And yeah, I agree that the story has a fairly strong emphasis on dialogue. That just comes with this being a fairly long story that covers several hours in great detail.

[Blue]

@Claire:
Oops, I made a technical error. The last two chapters weren't displayed when I accessed the story, and I had responded directly to a comment about Part 3 without reading the rest.
What follows, however, I found very interesting. Claire's attempts to dissuade her rapist from his plan. Her thought processes during these attempts. Her feelings when he finally penetrated her.
On the other hand, the rapist's brainwaves. How he tries to hold back his arousal and ejaculation for as long as possible. And then the flashbacks, in which we casually learn that Claire is now his 13th victim.
Even though I find it rather unlikely that the entire "process" took him 34 minutes.

[Claire]

@Claire:
Oops, I made a technical error. The last two chapters weren't displayed when I accessed the story, and I had responded directly to a comment about Part 3 without reading the rest.
What follows, however, I found very interesting. Claire's attempts to dissuade her rapist from his plan. Her thought processes during these attempts. Her feelings when he finally penetrated her.
On the other hand, the rapist's brainwaves. How he tries to hold back his arousal and ejaculation for as long as possible. And then the flashbacks, in which we casually learn that Claire is now his 13th victim.
Even though I find it rather unlikely that the entire "process" took him 34 minutes.

I'm happy you got some enjoyment out of this. I know that this isn't exactly your kind of story, so I appreciate that you took the time to read through it all anyway. Now I am curious what the Google translation makes out of this story. I imagine some parts to be rough.

[Claire]

Chapter 6 – Recharging


Since the forum is closing soon, I'm migrating my stories to Archive Of Our Own (AO3) and Literotica. Read the rest of Record Chaser here:

• Record Chaser (AO3)

Please support the story by leaving a kudos on AO3, thanks!