You

[Lucius]

Second-person narration is not for me, I'm afraid, but I can see it's a well-crafted story, and @Claire offered a fine description of her creative process in another thread. I didn't project myself onto the character, but not for the lack of the author's trying. It was a bit like playing through a high-level chess game where one doesn't -- can't indeed ... I hope ... -- identify with the checkmating knight or the sacrificed bishop.

[Claire]

Second-person narration is not for me, I'm afraid, but I can see it's a well-crafted story, and @Claire offered a fine description of her creative process in another thread. I didn't project myself onto the character, but not for the lack of the author's trying. It was a bit like playing through a high-level chess game where one doesn't -- can't indeed ... I hope ... -- identify with the checkmating knight or the sacrificed bishop.

You were busy today on the forum. I know that second-person narration is not for everyone, but I found it surprisingly powerful for this story. And now you remind me that I haven't played chess for too long. My poor chess.com account must be aching for my return. Maybe I'll get you to adore that checkmating knight with another story. And thanks for giving some stories buried on page 2 and 3 some love, not just mine. They need it!

[Lucius]

You were busy today on the forum. I know that second-person narration is not for everyone, but I found it surprisingly powerful for this story. And now you remind me that I haven't played chess for too long. My poor chess.com account must be aching for my return.

The Academy isn't about to lose you to chasing chess records, is it?

[Claire]

The Academy isn't about to lose you to chasing chess records, is it?

Well, technically the site could run without me. I mean, the owner of RavishU was online there something like twice a year I think, so... But no, I'm not good enough at chess to chase any chess records. When it comes to chasing records, I still have a story to finish.

[Lucius]

The Academy isn't about to lose you to chasing chess records, is it?

Well, technically the site could run without me. I mean, the owner of RavishU was online there something like twice a year I think, so...

... so RavishU ran into the ground, Boeing style.

But no, I'm not good enough at chess to chase any chess records. When it comes to chasing records, I still have a story to finish.

No infinite Four Knights rape Game, then.

[Claire]

No infinite Four Knights rape Game, then.

Hmm... "The Four Knights and the Queen" could be a good title for a story though. And if you linked that to a chess position, that would be chef's kiss. How would that work? Either, you would have to promote two pawns to knights that now circle the enemy queen cutting off her escape. Or you'd have to tell a story about two enemy knights and two of her own knights collaborating which could be reflected in a position where the queen is trapped, attacked by the enemy knights, and her own knights are placed so unfortunately on the board that they block her escape paths... You're giving me ideas here, Lucius! Naughty boy...

[Lucius]

Hmm... "The Four Knights and the Queen" could be a good title for a story though. And if you linked that to a chess position, that would be chef's kiss. How would that work?

That works, yep.

Either, you would have to promote two pawns to knights that now circle the enemy queen cutting off her escape. Or you'd have to tell a story about two enemy knights and two of her own knights collaborating which could be reflected in a position where the queen is trapped, attacked by the enemy knights, and her own knights are placed so unfortunately on the board that they block her escape paths... You're giving me ideas here, Lucius! Naughty boy...

That was the idea.

[RapeU]

This screams for a sequel - or even the same rape but with the reader as the victim instead of the rapist.

Love the desire for connection. I agree with your assessment that someone like that would eventually turn their victim around even though it is a monumentally stupid thing to do without hiding your identity. It says something about the character and gives him more depth.

[Claire]

This screams for a sequel - or even the same rape but with the reader as the victim instead of the rapist.

I actually thought about rewriting the story from the woman's perspective when I first published this on RavishU. So I like where your mind goes. But I lost sight of that a bit as I started to work on setting up the forum and then went on to write other stories.

Love the desire for connection. I agree with your assessment that someone like that would eventually turn their victim around even though it is a monumentally stupid thing to do without hiding your identity. It says something about the character and gives him more depth.

I also wonder how often rapists actually hide their identity. Most rapes are committed by people the victims know so I guess that in most cases there is not much hiding.

I am glad you liked it. It's always nice to get a comment on a story that has been published for a while now already.

[Quinotaurus]

I enjoyed it. Usually stranger danger assaults aren't my thing but the little pragmatic details (like not being able to tell the color of her bra) made it feel real.

A few typos (I think) :
Your salivating ==> You're salivating
to far ==> too far