Late Satisfaction

[Claire]

Chapter 4 - Part 2


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[Vela Nanashi]

Yeah, fucking rough situation. Hmm, I guess I still can't really understand why she listens to him, but I suppose it is the power imbalance and also listening to power/authority figures thing that many people have. I mean I would not want to, or actually face my rapist if I had one, unless I was planning to make sure they could hurt nobody ever again after I had the new meeting.

Yeah... I guess some women for some reason choose to stay under this kind of abuse.

Fight or flight turned up to 11 and she is still freezing.

I have been in a slightly similar situation myself (no not rape) so I know that mental state where one just can't focus on anything.

She probably should have asked her friend Ashley to tag along.

Hmm I feel he should know better why she might be distracted.

But yeah she understands she is in a trap/bind or near it at least so that is good.

I really do hope she stops obeying and turns the tables on him, but that would be a story I would write, perhaps not one you would.

People not investigating further what that scream was is typical sadly, probably boosted by bystander effect along with her not seeming to be in direct duress.

Hmm I have a feeling this will be rough... entering elevator.

Not sure it was wise to arm her with scalding/hot coffee, even if it worked as a delay tactic.

Oh she did not think of that, I mean she has 12 floors of ride to beat the fuck out of him and leave his cock hanging out of his pants, foot on his neck as the doors open... but no, she needs a hero and there is nobody around.

Interesting way to make her more passive feeling with observing herself in the mirror...

Yeah adrenaline does weird things with time.

Hey look my silly prediction of her blowing him during a lecture is true, in his plans/dreams at least, though not the same way... Now some of my evil characters say that if you want to force an orgasm out of someone, you can make them fuck you themselves, that can sometimes mess enough with their mind to make their body respond against their will...

Anger is good, and right now maybe you deserve 15% yourself but he deserves 1085% yes this is accurate math.

Yes good rage, now use it.

Yay finally.

Love that she finally did what I consider to be the right thing, does not change that he raped her, and that is not yet resolved for me, but this is a start.

Very good writing that made me feel things, not at first good things, but the end made up for it.

Very much looking forward to the next chapter's three parts.

[AdmiralPiet]

@Claire
Has been a while since I last commented on this, but my first comment still stands: Good translation, true to the feel of the original.
I would have tp pick a part and read it right along the german one to point out specifics.

In this last chapter I only have two remarks:

He was sure he’d fill her tight fun hole with his sperm before the elevator arrived on the 13th floor

I was wondering how you would translate this one. Because - if you remember - on the german version I found "enges Freudenloch" to be too vulgar/cheap.
This one is better, but somehow it is now a bit too... happy?
Don't change anything, I just found it funny that I stumbled at the smae part in both versions.

The other is just a side note: Lubrication is the correct word, and I'd use that myself, because what else?
But it always has a technical association first.
Like:
"Ey, Jeff. What lubricant do I need here?"
"Yo, that one neds GLP 68."

[Lucius]

Yes, an excellent continuation! Both participants are written really well.

But this was a long chapter. I hope my translation does the original justice.

No, it wasn't a long chapter. It absolutely doesn't feel like it.

I was wondering how you would translate this one. Because - if you remember - on the german version I found "enges Freudenloch" to be too vulgar/cheap.
This one is better, but somehow it is now a bit too... happy?
Don't change anything, I just found it funny that I stumbled at the smae part in both versions.

I guess it's very much a fun hole from Robertson's POV.

[Claire]

Yeah, fucking rough situation. Hmm, I guess I still can't really understand why she listens to him, but I suppose it is the power imbalance and also listening to power/authority figures thing that many people have. I mean I would not want to, or actually face my rapist if I had one, unless I was planning to make sure they could hurt nobody ever again after I had the new meeting.

Well... He is an authority figure in a position of power and she thinks he holds her academic future in his hands. She's also very young. Even after she hits him in the end, she's thinking:

"She didn’t know what would happen next. But even if all this ended with nobody believing her, and her having to leave this college behind, she knew that she had done the right thing."

I think that is as much of a reason as I can give you.

I have been in a slightly similar situation myself (no not rape) so I know that mental state where one just can't focus on anything.

Hmm I feel he should know better why she might be distracted.

I'm pretty sure he knows.

I really do hope she stops obeying and turns the tables on him, but that would be a story I would write, perhaps not one you would.

Eleanor being a kickboxer is a classic example of chekhov's gun. If the story never showed her using her ablities in any meaningful, that would be very weird. You could subvert it and have the moment she tries to fight back misfire. But not including that at all would be a very weird writing decision.

Anger is good, and right now maybe you deserve 15% yourself but he deserves 1085% yes this is accurate math.

This math related story needed someone to teach my readers how percentages work. Well done!

Yay finally.

Love that she finally did what I consider to be the right thing, does not change that he raped her, and that is not yet resolved for me, but this is a start.

Very good writing that made me feel things, not at first good things, but the end made up for it.

Very much looking forward to the next chapter's three parts.

I knew you'd like the ending of the chapter. Chapter 5 Part 1 will hopefully take me less time to translate.

[Claire]

@AdmiralPiet Thank you! Especially in this chapter you would see quite a lo of liberties I've taken with the translation. I'm so much more comfortable with taking these liberties now that I almost want to go back and redo the translation of the first chapter.

I was wondering how you would translate this one. Because - if you remember - on the german version I found "enges Freudenloch" to be too vulgar/cheap.
This one is better, but somehow it is now a bit too... happy?
Don't change anything, I just found it funny that I stumbled at the smae part in both versions.

To me, this reads mostly as objectifying and I think it has especially in English a very quick, punchy quality to it. I first used this expression in Record Chaser:

Yes, he felt guilty for what he was about to do. But what of it? What better way to drown out the feeling of guilt than to bury his dick in her untouched cunt? He might feel guilty now, he might feel guilty afterward. But he will indulge himself in the pleasure of filling that tight little fun hole between her legs with his cum to his heart’s content. If guilt was the price of admission, then he would make sure that he wasn’t overcharged.

Try reading this paragraph out loud. You are upset, you are defiant, you are trying to talk yourself into it, you're spiraling and escalating. "Tight little fun hole" rolls quickly of the tongue, it's not poetic but vulgar. You're not trying to aestheticise your depravity, you're revelling in it to spite your own guilt.

In this paragraph, you have this buildup, a slow start. Then an escalation into a quicker cadence underlined with vulgarity that fits the excitement. And finally, a more controlled last sentence that serves as a thesis statement and punchline for the paragraph to land on.

Of course you can still dislike the expression. What feels out of place to one person can be appropriate for somebody else. I sometimes see people here praise stories as extremely hot that I find just funny because their dialogue reminds me of the infamous "Warum liegt hier eigentlich Stroh?"-scene. But I really like to play with sentence structure and rhythm. And "fun hole" has his vulgar, objectifying quality to it while it rolls just quickly of the tongue if you need something punchy.


@Lucius Thank you! I also don't think that the chapter is long in terms of being badly paced. It just had a lot of words for me to translate. Thank god the orginal 5-1 is only ~1090 words long.

[mcpa1597]

Loved this chapter.

[Claire]

@mcpa1597 Thank you! You read an AI translation of the chapter of the first, right? Did you think my own translation was better or worse?

[mcpa1597]

@mcpa1597 Thank you! You read an AI translation of the chapter of the first, right? Did you think my own translation was better or worse?

I liked the new translation better. Some of the language felt more natural to me.

[Claire]

Chapter 5 – Part 1


Since the forum is closing soon, I'm migrating my stories to Archive Of Our Own (AO3) and Literotica. Read the rest of Late Satisfaction here:

• Late Satisfaction (AO3)

Please support the story by leaving a kudos on AO3, thanks!