Vela Nanashi wrote: Thu Jun 19, 2025 12:05 pm
A question though, if you are sharing the bed with a woman, willingly
I assume you went to bed with her there and you wanted her there with you, not that you went to bed alone and there is this mystery woman there, or that you were drugged and find yourself handcuffed to the bed or something, or ended up being led by gun point by a woman to the bed, though feel free to steal these for a story...
, and she sees/feels your morning wood, do you take offense to her caressing it and getting excited over it? Or is that a good thing?
If I'm going to bed with a woman, it means I find her really pretty and I'd spend hours kissing and petting her everywhere, so if I wake up to her seeing or feeling my morning boner, I will absolutely not take offense if she caresses it. Some of the very best sex I had happened in the morning! The first time I had that experience was a very long time ago with my first girlfriend and -- sigh! --- she was in "that time" of her month so we did other stuff, but it was AMAZING!
The only time I'd take offense would be what Vela mentioned as a caveat --- I wake up next to a mystery woman and I don't know who she is. If she's a ghost, then I'll be fine with giving her the sex she craves; those ghosts feel so lonely!
RE: Star Wars and the Death Star, there's an entire dialogue played for meta-humor in the movie Clerks dedicated to an ethical discussion about the Rebels' actions inevitably killing contractors and wage workers. One of those funny scenes that could only exist in a movie from the 90s!
But more to the central subject of the thread...I'm a guy and have always identified as a feminist. But I also recognize that a lot of my sexual tastes are very regressive toward the opposite sex. I like humiliation (it's in my name after all), female objectification, loss of feminine agency, bondage, etc. And additionally, I'm super turned on when there is no karma in the act—that is, the victim did nothing to bring the situation upon themselves. I've had to square those two seemingly contradictory things in my mind and it's always come down to me being able to parse the difference between fantasy and reality. It might be a cliche analogy, but it's similar to enjoying a horror movie where you understand it's just a movie. My forced fantasies tend more toward a "ravishment" aesthetic and theme—think what you'd see in a cheesy b-movie exploitation film from the 70s—more so than earnest and realistic depictions of rape and violence. I much prefer a simulacra of rape, I suppose you could say. There are pieces of media with non-consent that have aspects to them that make me uncomfortable, but overall, there are parts of them that I really enjoy; so I'll enjoy the parts that resonate with me. For a salient example, I find a lot of the S&M stuff in Kink.com clips a turn-off, but I really love the forced stripping, humiliation, verbal taunting, and overall male dominance, so I'll watch what I like and tune out for that I don't. Similarly, I came across a writer a few years ago whose stories almost always end in snuff. Don't like snuff stuff at all, but I find everything they write leading up to the ending super hot. So I read the first 95% and then tune out when the inevitable part comes.
As I've traveled the internet the past few years and had conversations about these kinks, I've been incredibly surprised by how many cis women are into a lot of the same things. I naïvely always thought these to be largely male-centric fantasies. My writing and thoughts have always heavily focused on psychology, tension, aesthetic, and meaning, rather than brut action, and I've found what I write often resonates with female audiences. On feminism, when I read Second Sex, I found Beauvoir talked about how women often have regressive sexual proclivities as well and that help me contextualize a lot and understand some of the female view points on these fetishy themes and where they intersect with what I thought were male-centric fantasies.
Pretty much all of my actual sexual experience has been on the fairly vanilla side, so I often wonder what it would be like to explore many of these (safe, sane, and consensual) fantasies with someone else.
HistBuff wrote: Sun Jun 15, 2025 3:49 pm
I've closed my account over there because someone somehow got to my personal email and threatened me directly. I'm not even sure whether I still want to write erotica at this point.
Ugg, I am so bummed by that. I've always liked checking in on your AO3 work as your one of the writers in this space who really hits on my tastes (the first chapter or two of Snow! It Won't Be Long hits just right for me) and when I checked a few weeks ago, I saw that your account was gone. A few years ago, I had some rando write a weird puritan screed underneath one of my analytical essays on DeviantArt and that was very uncomfortable for me—not because it made me ashamed of my kinks or anything, but because I don't want some antagonistic person taking that much interest in me and perhaps trying to dox me or something. This is all just an erotic hobby for me. I do have an account on AO3, but I've been hesitant to post any stories on there, because while it does brand itself as a story site where pretty much anything goes, I know there are still moral warriors lurking around there. Plus, I don't really write a lot of fanfic, which is really what gets attention on AO3.
Vela Nanashi wrote: Thu Jun 19, 2025 12:05 pm
A question though, if you are sharing the bed with a woman, willingly
I assume you went to bed with her there and you wanted her there with you, not that you went to bed alone and there is this mystery woman there, or that you were drugged and find yourself handcuffed to the bed or something, or ended up being led by gun point by a woman to the bed, though feel free to steal these for a story...
, and she sees/feels your morning wood, do you take offense to her caressing it and getting excited over it? Or is that a good thing?
An erection is always an erection, so if an attractive lady wants to help me take care of it, I won't be offended in the least. It's a shame to let it go to waste. I might want to drain my bladder first, but maybe if the girl is particularly obliging she can help there too?
I too have contemplated whether and how female characters reactions and particularly progression from pain to pleasure. Humans have a morbid fascination with our mortality and death. Rape is something else, urges and gratification.
Originally my assumptions were no pleasure but I have learned how that can be dependent on situation and many factors, each body has a natural response.
That said, you raise question of murder vs rape in terms of social reaction and taboo or desensitization over time.
I think the difference is the obvious: how much easier is it to commit rape than murder? Having sex, forced even, isn't that rare, right? In fact it, sex, is ubiquitous which is part of why rape is seen in such different light despite both being violent crimes.
Open for controversy with complexity in a way that murder is simply not..
Just my two cents.
Verbal13
Fiction (imagination) is precious: participate instead of lurk, yeah?
HumiliationInc wrote: Thu Jun 19, 2025 6:29 pm
RE: Star Wars and the Death Star, there's an entire dialogue played for meta-humor in the movie Clerks dedicated to an ethical discussion about the Rebels' actions inevitably killing contractors and wage workers. One of those funny scenes that could only exist in a movie from the 90s!
Now you made me think of those half-serious half-joking estimates what impact the destruction of the death star would have had on the intergalactic economy...
HumiliationInc wrote: Thu Jun 19, 2025 6:29 pm
It might be a cliche analogy, but it's similar to enjoying a horror movie where you understand it's just a movie.
I don't think that is a bad comparison. Maybe it's obvious, but we enjoy all kinds of things in fiction we would want to have nothing to do with in real life.
HumiliationInc wrote: Thu Jun 19, 2025 6:29 pm
My writing and thoughts have always heavily focused on psychology, tension, aesthetic, and meaning, rather than brut action, and I've found what I write often resonates with female audiences.
That sounds like I need to give your story a read soon. I love stories that have a bit of substance to them.
I find it interesting that you struggled so much with your preferences earlier in life. I never had that. As I outlined in the opening post, I struggled a bit with what effect my writing might have on others. But I never wondered much what it said about myself, whether I can call myself a feminist or not for liking these stories. I guess to me one of the fundamental insights that I came to is: Don't judge people for what they want or feel but for what they do with these wants and feelings. And I think once you internalize that, you can grant that same mercy to yourself as well and not just to others.
My stories: Claire's Cesspool of Sin. I'm always happy to receive a comment on my stories, even more so on an older one!
I think it's perhaps more difficult to deal with a fantasy about raping versus being raped. If you fantasize about being a victim, you're blameless. If you fantasize about being a rapist, that's something a lot of people wouldn't understand and would condemn. Also, as a teenager with these fantasies, one finds oneself wonderinf if you're going to be tempted to act on them. Fortunately I never felt the least desire to actually hurt someone like that, it's JUST fantasy. It may have made me try harder to be kind.
skuttrusk wrote: Fri Jun 20, 2025 2:41 pm
The main problem is when the cock is aiming UP but the toilet is down. A problem easily solved if there's a girl's mouth to use instead...
Well I am not into that personally, but I have a few characters that may be for the right man, but for most of them he would have had to prove to them he would kiss them after that.
