Chapter 1:
First person I like, though I failed to figure out it was Wendy's point of view if it is, based on teaser? May be good to add an indicator at top of chapter of who 'I' is
for silly people like me Wendy and Hanna are both cute, but also I think mismatched in how they need the world to work, order vs chaos or at least disorder, the dialogue is nice and cute too, but I find myself not having a lot to say, it is well written though
Coffee is nice though
Ok so I see where Hannah got her worry and check and recheck and order things from, her mom, that kind of stuff can lead to some serious ocd, but it is also useful if at least one person in a couple is slightly good at making things be somewhat in order, but only if they can tolerate chaos or are prepared to do all the order bringing, as it is useless to expect the source of chaos and disorder to order things, they will never do it right even if they really try.
Good first chapter
Chapter 2:
Some confusion... um... did they not take their own four wheel drive car to the airport? Why do they need to rent a new one? or is this an air port that they got a plane to from the first air port?
More cute banter
Ouch car crashes suck to be in.
Chapter 3:
I am really not a car person, but how likely is it that a tire pops off a rim? and the car still works? Lucky there, but driving on it?, hmm, maybe they should have tried changing/putting on the tire, then again maybe that is why it popped off, someone who does not know how had put it on?
Lol there are some cute and silly jokes here good work
I wonder if Wendy's reading of Roy is accurate, probably is given what this story is about.
Chapter 4:
"Now there is six of them!" yeah not good situation.
I am not sure you have the option to leave even, so the cold may not be an option anymore.
Yeah not good situation, me stating the obvious. Time to pause, I may read more later, hopefully when I can comment better than this.
