One Morning in Potaissa - Gang Rape Galore

[chloevee]

This story was beautifully written. The vivid descriptions in the anal rape scene in particular were highly erotic.

I appreciated that Ziptia wasn't just constantly screaming and sobbing. Your more subtle descriptions of her suffering were so much more powerful:

Her eyes squinched shut, her lips drawn back, teeth bared...

...her fingers and toes scrunching helplessly in the dirt...

I liked the clean-slate approach you took with Ziptia's character. The only thing about her background that I found myself wishing I knew more about was her fury-like sword swinging, even if it was only a line or two.

The broken-latin was well done. I have a story I've been working on for awhile with a character that speaks in broken-Engish, so I can appreciate how tough it is to make believable.

I realize this is just a matter of personal taste, but I'm not a fan of whipping and the like so I appreciate that you left the details of that part up to the reader's imagination.

[Lucius]

Thank you for the comment!

I liked the clean-slate approach you took with Ziptia's character. The only thing about her background that I found myself wishing I knew more about was her fury-like sword swinging, even if it was only a line or two.

The blank-slate approach just seemed more natural here, and as for Ziptia with a sword... I'm considering writing a story featuring Ferocia fighting on the arena a few months later, she'll get a lot of opportunities for swordplay (ahem!) there.

I realize this is just a matter of personal taste, but I'm not a fan of whipping and the like so I appreciate that you left the details of that part up to the reader's imagination.

Would a harsh flogging chapter in a hypothetical longer story featuring violations be a turn-off for you?

A question for everyone reading, actually. Any girl in my Roman stories is almost always at the risk of being whipped, slavery and all that...

[Lux]

I adored this story!! And honestly a bit sad that Rectus did not whip Ziptia... "there"... between her... ahem.

Still, Romans and Dacians, now that's a erotic story setting I have never read before and I loved it. Wonderful references to the deities, locations, even the 13th Legion as well!! A wonderfull awareness of the historical setting the story takes place in and I adored every lewd, naughty and exciting moment of it.

I hope to see more stories from you that take place in Dacia, dear and wonderful Lucius!! Also I want to read more about Ziptia-Ferocia story, how she reaches Rome and her life there on!!

[Vela Nanashi]

For me you can go into the whipping, I kinda did in Star's story, though focus more on her feelings, also if you have seen b5, a warrior like her may mimic gkar, also if you have seen outlander it also features some whipping, maybe that level is also okay then again maybe a bit too vivid and real. For me personally though it needs to be balanced with some pleasure and also her recovering and growing stronger from it

[Claire]

I don't have a partcular preference either way. And I would not think of a story in terms of particular kinks. If you are able to draw me in and make me feel things, I couldn't care less whether you're writing about kinks I like or not looked at in isolation. If you turned the story into a never ending whipping festival, then that would get boring for me quickly. But that would be true for any other kink as well. So my general advice is: Don't think about whether your readers might like a particular kink or not. Instead draw them in with a story they can't get enough of and then include those kinks that serve the story you want to tell the best. I firmly believe that this way, you draw in even those who might say at first that they don't like whipping or whatever usually.

[Vela Nanashi]

Very true that:)

[Lucius]

I adored this story!! And honestly a bit sad that Rectus did not whip Ziptia... "there"... between her... ahem.

Thank you for the appreciation!

Perhaps Rectus didn't want to get splashed by his soldiers' seed...

Still, Romans and Dacians, now that's a erotic story setting I have never read before and I loved it. Wonderful references to the deities, locations, even the 13th Legion as well!! A wonderfull awareness of the historical setting the story takes place in and I adored every lewd, naughty and exciting moment of it.

I put some work into researching it. Legio XIII Gemina was then the sole legion in Dacia, so involving it was natural. The governor of any single-legion praetorian province simultaneously served as legionary legate, and the legionaries of the Thirteenth provide Statius Priscus with his bodyguard, his office personnel and his speculatores, whom I've rendered as 'torturers' -- a bit of simplification on my part.

I hope to see more stories from you that take place in Dacia, dear and wonderful Lucius!! Also I want to read more about Ziptia-Ferocia story, how she reaches Rome and her life there on!!

To be considered...

[Lux]

Perhaps Rectus didn't want to get splashed by his soldiers' seed...

Haha, that is fair!

I put some work into researching it. Legio XIII Gemina was then the sole legion in Dacia, so involving it was natural. The governor of any single-legion praetorian province simultaneously served as legionary legate, and the legionaries of the Thirteenth provide Statius Priscus with his bodyguard, his office personnel and his speculatores, whom I've rendered as 'torturers' -- a bit of simplification on my part.

Again, loved the setting and the dedication to it!

To be considered...

I will keep my hopes up then!

[Lucius]

I don't have a partcular preference either way. And I would not think of a story in terms of particular kinks. If you are able to draw me in and make me feel things, I couldn't care less whether you're writing about kinks I like or not looked at in isolation. If you turned the story into a never ending whipping festival, then that would get boring for me quickly. But that would be true for any other kink as well.

You' put your finger on what I consider the main problem here -- balancing the various parts of the story. For example, I'm not against killing the rape victim per se, indeed this kind of scenario has to be considered in a Roman, WWII or crime family setting, you name it. But then you make it a snuff -- or its subset, femex -- story, even if there's no sexual aspect to the killing itself, and I'm certain that nailing Ziptia to the cross would've been polarizing even if over and done with in two sentences! I didn't even consider taking that road.

Oh yes, and I believe that killing the girl for pure shock value is cheap melodrama.

So my general advice is: Don't think about whether your readers might like a particular kink or not. Instead draw them in with a story they can't get enough of and then include those kinks that serve the story you want to tell the best. I firmly believe that this way, you draw in even those who might say at first that they don't like whipping or whatever usually.

Not an easy thing to do, but I think it can be done well, yeah. There are a few extreme kinks no amount of good writing can sell to me, but they're mostly covered by the rules.