The Love of My Chains

[sinfulwords]

heeey @Lucius thanks for reading and for another stellar comment

I suppose ‪John Woo's films‬ have been lost

Bro you’re like a bigger movie buff than me!!! That NEVER happens I bow to a skill far greater than my own

A nitpick -- isn't there only one corpse?

believe it or not but that was an intentional grammatical error I thought it sounded somewhat comedic that way it’s more for my own amusement as the writer

I guess I both want and don't want a Patsy-centred sequel.

if I ever did write a sequel it would be a Patsy story so IF I ever do….

Looks like there are not only rabbits but pigs around. Well, in more senses than one.

Happy that Sadie did reach her orgasm. That sure was Sad for Sadie because of what steadies for her the restless edges of the harsh world they live in -- to borrow a phrase from the finale.

Excellent story, thank you for writing it!

thank YOU for reading I’m stoked to learn you enjoyed the conclusion thank u again for all the consistent engagement it’s mucho appreciated

[RapeU]

A nitpick -- isn't there only one corpse?

believe it or not but that was an intentional grammatical error I thought it sounded somewhat comedic that way it’s more for my own amusement as the writer

There's a certain brilliance to this. Some guys name their dick. So if Jax named his dick something else like Peter, then Jax and Peter are dead and technically two corpses

[sinfulwords]

@Claire
Firstly I’d like to thank u soooo much for taking the time to type all this out. I’m super grateful for both your compliments and your critiques. Let’s dive in!!!

I think you have a distinct voice as a writer. Your prose doesn't read generic. Unless your style varies tremendously from story to story,

thanks fam I’m happy to read that my prose comes off as distinct

Then I think that you are good at writing memorable characters and dialogue.

I’m so happy u think so this is probably the #1 compliment I get from readers on my fan fictions ^.^ so it has become an element I pride myself on

The relationship between Sadie and Tyler is the heart of the story. Especially the ending drove that home. It feels like an island of kindness in an otherwise very cruel world. I think that is what elevates the story above many noncon stories that use fairly flat characters to get to the sex/rape. Here you can feel that there is substance beneath the debauchery the story revels in. I believe that this is the difference between a well executed, but ultimately throwaway noncon fantasy, that exist a dime a dozen, and a story a new reader might pick up five years from now and still find fresh.

u so nice! Thank u soooooo much for all ur kind words!

So let's begin with revisiting the exposition issue.

I hear ya! You definitely raise some valid points that will help me with world building in the future.

A second point that I'm missing is an overarching conflict in your story. That doesn't need to be some big thing. But especially until the chapter Jax gets killed, things just happen seemingly without a sense of direction. I think you would elevate your writing to the next level if the things that happened weren't just hot, but felt also purposeful. Have the story move toward to a conclusion that makes the reader sit on the edge of their seat. And I think you have a wonderful engine for that already that the story simply refuses to utilize.

well you’re not wrong. I think the things u mentioned would definitely add complexity and up the captivation factor, however complexity wasn’t NECESSARILY what I was aiming for When I set out to write this I had JUST finished a 200,000 word FF (my grand finale lmao) so when I embarked on this one I was admittedly looking to write something reasonably lighter. My goal was: smut with a twist at the end

Do you see how with these overall fairly minor changes suddenly everything feels purposeful in the story?………My point is not that this exact sequence of events is the best. My point is that this sequence of events maintains everything the story already offers, adds a sense of tension and narrative progression, and puts the central relationship between master and slave at the center of it all by testing it relentlessly. You can achieve that same thing with a different outline as well. The point is not this exact outline but the purpose the suggested changes would serve.

yes I can absolutely see and appreciate all those distinctions. I REALLY liked your take on the story, and I can see how all those little tweaks and changes would create a more refined impact, not only in emphasizing Tyler and Sadie’s relationship, but in using the kinks and character dynamics as catalysts in the story versus simple elements.

This perspective gives me a lot to think about in terms of my writing as an overall art. It really paints an invaluable picture of how to use this narrative progression u mentioned in our Late Satisfaction thread. it’s a little clearer to me how you’re able to capture themes and make them shine in your story-telling!

I’m VERY keen to take this lesson and try to apply it to one of my stories in the near future ….but probably after I write some shorter vapid pieces to cleanse my palete first

Thanks friend! I really appreciated those pearl of wisdoms…..let’s see if I can make a necklace out of em

and thank u again for reading my little tale and for all ur comments! I enjoyed every last one of em!

[sinfulwords]

A nitpick -- isn't there only one corpse?

believe it or not but that was an intentional grammatical error I thought it sounded somewhat comedic that way it’s more for my own amusement as the writer

There's a certain brilliance to this. Some guys name their dick. So if Jax named his dick something else like Peter, then Jax and Peter are dead and technically two corpses

NOT PETER that’s hysterical