The Blowout - Holiday Gangbang

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RapeU
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Re: The Blowout - Holiday Gangbang

Post by RapeU »

SoftGameHunter wrote: Thu Jan 01, 2026 11:23 pm Okay, the first chapter kind of dragged, TBH, when I didn't have an investment in the characters.
A lot of times getting started is the hardest part in writing a story. I probably could have cut out Hannah and her mother's phone call and added a little more banter between the two characters like in the second chapter. Or perhaps once I get going I should go back to the beginning of the story and use the momentum I've gained to rewrite the beginning.
But after that it picked right up and stayed engaging even in the no-sex chapters. It really painted a picture of danger and setting I could feel like I could see and witness.
Yay!
A few oddities, like were the other brothers just hiding out that first evening, or did they all show up during the snowstorm?
An excellent question, the answer to which Wendy or I don't fully know. However, the "Hank" mentioned in the story is involved in a sex trafficking ring (and by extension Moon, but mostly Hank runs it.) There's probably a secret passage to and from the lodge in a currently unknown location for the purposes of sex trafficking that Hannah and Wendy didn't see. Going with that explanation, Hannah and Wendy were quite lucky that they arrived unexpectedly when longer travel was impractical.
No matter. I cared about these girls and was pleased they managed to get through it. I hope Wendy's parents managed to surgically extract that stick from their collective ass.
Wendy's parents are a nice source of potential conflict and drama for the story of Hannah and Wendy getting married. They might come around, or they might not. We'll see when I get there :)
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Shocker
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Re: The Blowout - Holiday Gangbang

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I never read a bad story written by you, and this one is excellent. You did such a great job in showing Hannah and Wendy as a loving and wholesome couple, before introducing them to men, that completely didn’t care about their sexual preference.
The threat of a forced shaving is almost as good as the deed. I love bushes, bald is boring, yet taking that part away works so great in rape stories.
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Claire
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Re: The Blowout - Holiday Gangbang

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First story I read for the contest and it's a strong contender for the title in my view. I fear though that you might not have done yourself a favor by entering such a long story against mostly medium length stories with most of them not even reaching half the word count of your story. But posting your long story in 9 chapters is a good way to farm ratings from me, I guess! :lol:

I might be biased here, but it felt to me like I could tell that you just came from finishing The CUNT Rapist. They way you wrote the character interactions between Wendy and Hannah reminded me a lot of that. And that's a good thing because that was one of the strongest qualities of The CUNT Rapist.

I think you also managed to make Wendy and Hannah very likeable which is probably the most important aspect for this story. If you don't like this couple and don't feel for them, the story doesn't work. So it's good you nailed that.

I also disagree with @SoftGameHunter that the first chapter dragged. I thought it was fine. If there was something I had to criticize about the early part of the story, so before the car crash, it would be this. I think there were one or two instances where I was unsure during the dialogue who was talking like here for example:
“There’s nothing worse than needing a charger and not having one,” she finally said after a pause. “Except maybe discovering your girlfriend hoards lithium like a deranged squirrel,” I playfully shot out.
The dialogue bit that starts with "Except maybe..." could be read as Hannah qualifying her own previous sentence until you reach the 'I playfully shot out.'

And I think you leaned a bit heavy into the flirting with sexual innuendos. You get across that these two are a couple of sex positive lesbians, but you could have cut a few of those and maybe reference something else they like to do together to flesh them out a little beyond being sex positive lesbians.

But in terms of pacing, I like the opening to the story a lot.

---

Now, I could explain why the story is 2 and not 3 points for me. But I would have to write quite a bit to explain that and I fear that my feedback post would come across more negative as I intend it to be just because that more critical aspect would take up so much more space. So, I'll leave it at that for now. I really liked the story and the characters. I think you continue to deliver after The CUNT Rapist. If you want to go into the details, I can say more. But your story is a great entry for the contest as is.
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Re: The Blowout - Holiday Gangbang

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Claire wrote: Tue Jan 06, 2026 2:54 pm Now, I could explain why the story is 2 and not 3 points for me. But I would have to write quite a bit to explain that and I fear that my feedback post would come across more negative as I intend it to be just because that more critical aspect would take up so much more space. So, I'll leave it at that for now. I really liked the story and the characters. I think you continue to deliver after The CUNT Rapist. If you want to go into the details, I can say more. But your story is a great entry for the contest as is.
I know at least one reason. The ending. I was running out of time for the contest and just ended it very abruptly. It was actually a pretty agonizing decision. Do I, as the author, kill off Hannah? I had the justification in my head "not all stories have a happy ending" and spent time weighing my options. Even got into Wendy's head and cried from the mere thought of what I was about to write.

Ultimately I chose to keep Hannah alive because I couldn't bring myself to kill her off. I loved the character couple I created too much. And I'm glad I did because it's going to get me into writing a few consensual stories with this couple that I really want to explore. One of the consensual stories will be part of the memorial contest. Then, there's a few ideas for noncon too.
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Re: The Blowout - Holiday Gangbang

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I've approached the story with a little unease, almost certain that it would drag somewhat. Was I wrong -- it doesn't feel like it's a long story.

Paced well for my taste, too -- I really don't subscribe to the idea that the reader should always be 'plot-hooked' from the first sentence, and the beginning of Ch. 1 is doing a lot in letting the reader to know who Wendy and Hannah are. It's difficult not to like them!
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Re: The Blowout - Holiday Gangbang

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Lucius wrote: Wed Jan 07, 2026 3:08 pm I've approached the story with a little unease, almost certain that it would drag somewhat. Was I wrong -- it doesn't feel like it's a long story.

Paced well for my taste, too -- I really don't subscribe to the idea that the reader should always be 'plot-hooked' from the first sentence, and the beginning of Ch. 1 is doing a lot in letting the reader to know who Wendy and Hannah are. It's difficult not to like them!
I personally think the reader is getting hooked to the plot immediately, as the loving and caring relationship between Wendy and Hanna is critical to the story and the plot.
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Re: The Blowout - Holiday Gangbang

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Shocker wrote: Wed Jan 07, 2026 4:50 pmI personally think the reader is getting hooked to the plot immediately, as the loving and caring relationship between Wendy and Hanna is critical to the story and the plot.
It's just that I'm inclined to see everywhere the often not-so-necessary 'firewall' between the character and plot aspects of stories.
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Re: The Blowout - Holiday Gangbang

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I enjoyed this read. I like the build up, and no part seemed to drag on. I built the suspense just right, and if I am correct, this was a action/consequence story with some deeper elements hidden like little treasures making it a joy to read. 9/10, it did not get a full ten because the only gripe I could muster honestly was the slightly overused deepwoods/country bumpkin trope. I live in a very rural area and only met two people who could fit in that stereotype.

My opinion:

We need this to be a series, like a reverse Jason/friday the 13th style story around the area and people in it getting punished. Maybe some lesbianism to even it out? But still a worthy read for any gangbang fan!
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Re: The Blowout - Holiday Gangbang

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Writers_Bloque wrote: Thu Jan 08, 2026 5:09 pm We need this to be a series, like a reverse Jason/friday the 13th style story around the area and people in it getting punished. Maybe some lesbianism to even it out? But still a worthy read for any gangbang fan!
This story is turning into a series following Wendy and Hannah, along with their best friends Zoe and Aisha. There's something special about their relationship.

Now if you more meant you need a series involving the sex trafficking ring, that already exists within the same universe starting with A Song Without Music and ending with The Master of Illusion. Fair warning though, I'm not satisfied with how The Master of Illusion came out and plan on giving it a rewrite at some point.
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Re: The Blowout - Holiday Gangbang

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Chapter Tags: No sex, story
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This story now has a proper ending I'm happy with.

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Chapter 10 Waiting

Hospital time was not real time. The minutes slowly slithered. It was never truly quiet. Hannah’s parents sat with me as we silently waited. I hated being in the hospital, but I wasn’t going to leave her aside from bathroom and shower breaks. One nurse suggested to “go to my room and rest.” I refused. Hannah’s parents backed me up. I dozed in a recliner by her bed.

My best friend, Zoe Morgan, entered the room like a tornado. Her blonde hair looked windblown and her eyes were already glistening before she said a word. “You look like a bag of hammered shit,” she managed, her voice sounded like she was as exhausted as me. I burst out crying. She was across the room in a second, hugging me so tight the air whooshed out of my lungs. I cried into her shoulder and tightly hugged her back. “Don’t you ever scare me like that again,” Zoe whispered in my ear.

When our embrace broke I noticed Hannah’s best friend, Aisha Grant, had entered the room. Aisha’s presence was less like a tornado and more like a negative space, a force of quiet that seemed to suck everything else inward. She gave me a reserved, soft look, then wrapped me in a much gentler hug. “I’m so glad you’re both alive,” she said simply.

A nurse poked her head in and said, “Only three visitors at a time, I’m afraid.” The nurse glanced at Zoe, then at Aisha, and then at me, the one who’d barely left the room in three days. “I’ll make a schedule,” Aisha offered, “Give me a few minutes?” The nurse nodded and looked satisfied. Aisha wrote names and times on a whiteboard in the neatest block letters I’d ever seen. She was like Hannah in a lot of ways.

Diane approached me, voice soft. “Would you like to go get some air, Wendy?” The idea of leaving Hannah’s side was a sharp, physical pain. I shook my head. “I’ll stay.” She gave me an understanding smile. “I’d stay too if it were Frank,” she simply said. Frank hovered by the window with Aisha, the two of them exchanging silent, complex looks. Neither were talkers, but I sensed a deep communication in the way they stood, the way they’d learned to shoulder hope and grief side by side.

A doctor came in when Zoe, Aisha, and I were in the room. “She’s looking better every day, it’s all up to her now.” I looked at him and asked “What can I do to help?” The doctor said, “Talk to her. Play music. Anything familiar can help.” He paused and said, “It looks like you’re doing that already.” After the doctor left, Aisha sat next to me. “You look like hell, Wen.” “I feel like it,” I said, and surprised myself by smiling a little.

Aisha looked at the engagement ring on my finger, then back at me. “She would want you to rest.” I shrugged. “She’d want me here. And I’m not leaving her.” Aisha leaned in, her hand cool on my arm. “You don’t have to be the strong one all the time.” I said nothing, but my body shuddered with the effort of not falling apart. Aisha let the silence stretch, then said “She would do the same for you.”

Zoe added, “Han would probably want you to set the world record for loudest public meltdown, then demand the whole hospital staff throw a party when she wakes up,” I laughed, but it came out as a wet, broken sound.

***

The visitor rotation became our ritual. Diane in the mornings, Frank in the afternoons, Zoe and Aisha switching off evenings and nights. Everyone would bring me food or drinks so I wouldn’t have to leave. I was the constant. And every few hours, I would tell Hannah “Yes I’ll marry you.”

On the third day of sitting by Hannah’s bedside, Zoe poked my shoulder. “You need to eat something that doesn’t come from a vending machine.” She pressed a greasy paper bag into my palm. “I made it myself. It’s called a McMorgen. I broke every health code in the county making it for you.”

I peeled open the bag and was hit with the stench of eggs, cheap cheese, and an ambiguous third odor that could have been love or sabotage. I took a huge bite and let it melt down into my atomized bones. “I love you,” I mumbled around the food. “Not as much as Han,” Zoe replied, “but I’ll allow it.”

Halfway into the McMorgan, Hannah stirred. Her eyelids flickered, lashes trembling the way they sometimes did when she was on the edge of a brilliant thought. At first I thought I was hallucinating. But Zoe saw it too, “She’s waking up,” she whispered, as if afraid to break the spell.

I put my food back in the bag, hit my knees beside the bed, and watched Hannah’s pale lips shape themselves around a single syllable. “Wen.” My name, so soft. I grabbed her hand and poured all my grief and love straight into the bruised knuckles. “I’m here, Han. I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.”

The next ten minutes blurred. A rush of white coats, the stutter of shoes on the floor, voices layered and overlapping, a fog of medicalese. They checked her eyes, her breath, her memory. All news was good news, Hannah was going to make a full recovery. The medical staff left as quick as they came.

Hannah was exhausted, but her grip on my hand was iron. We sat in the quiet, the machine noise now a lullaby. Her gaze drifted down to my hand, to the ring. She blinked, tried to lift her hand, and with effort, brought it up to her face. She croaked, voice thin and dry: “This isn’t how I planned to propose.” I grinned, “Well, you’re stuck with me now. Sorry, no refunds on fiancées.” I heard Zoe’s stifled laugh behind me.

Hannah’s lips stretched into a crooked smile. “You did say yes, right?” she teased. “I said yes so many times the hospital staff started threatening a psych consult,” I replied. She coughed, then whispered, “I’m going to plan our wedding myself. It will be perfect. Every detail.” I nodded, “You’ll probably plan down to the type of ink used in the invitations.” Hannah replied without hesitation, “Obviously.”

Hannah’s eyes softened. “Both or neither,” she murmured. I nodded, and I knew what she meant. I felt the promise pass between us like a current, a code under the ordinary words. I lifted her hand and kissed it gently. “Both,” I said. “Always.” The machines still hummed. The hospital still moved around us. But the air felt different now, lighter. Hannah was still here, we were still us. Whatever came next, we would face it together.
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Let me know if you like this ending to the story. I know in the last chapter it was a pretty sudden abrupt end due to running out of time for a story contest. I've since edited the last bits of the prior chapter to be more in line with this one. Also, it helps out @Shocker because the introduction to Zoe in this story allows him to use her in the upcoming spinoff contest :)
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