The circle of Ylmarach (Swedish fear)

[Nickamano]

People tell me I'm old all the time. Hence the graves in my garden.

To me, Agneta will ever live at that 19 / 20-ish stage of her life.

[Shocker]

@Nickamano and @Shocker

Has anyone ever told you that you're old?

The one from ABBA...how old is she? 70? Could be my grandmother

When we think of attractive Swedish women, I tend to think of Frida Gustavsson, Julia Henriksson, Stina Blackstenius, or Alicia Vikander.

Quite frequently, I don’t deny that Alicia Vikander is very attractive, and that ABBA was before my time.
As for the other 3 I‘ll have to google them to form an opinion,

[Claire]

Okay, I'm slowly catching up with your writing. I liked this one. It begins quite harmless. I even forgot for a moment that I was reading rape fantasy and thought I was just reading a road trip story with three Swedish women. I think the crazy cult is always a great setting for stories like this. If you are deep into believing supernatural ideas, even human sacrifice can become something you do out of the goodness of your heart in an attempt to assuage demons and vengeful gods. It's a great setup.

Assuming that part two wasn't the end yet, I would like to see more individual reactions from Linnea, Emma and Stina. Up to this point, these three are not registered as individuals in my mind but just as "the three Swedish girls", a collective. I could for example see one quickly give up and resign herself to her fate, one struggling like hell and the third one experiencing unwanted arousal (I know, neither your nor my favorite trope, but I would consider it to distinguish how these three experience their rapes). A bit more individual personality I would like to see.

And then I assume that this was again translated by AI from German? If so, the translation is much better than it was in Unhappy New Year but I think it still drags down the quality of the writing here and there. There is small moments like this one

Emma closed her eyes and hardly dared to breathe when he met her for the first time.

which should probably say "hit" instead of met. I assume that here the German "trifft/traf" was wrongly translated by the AI. And then there is a moment that was just hilarious to me:

It took a moment before the three young men who were taking the women by the fire gasped and apparently climaxed almost simultaneously, spurting their semen deep into each other's bodies.

I'm pretty sure these men did not withdraw from the women just before climax so that they could shoot their cum into the rapist next to them. And I don't know what went wrong there, but I suspect this to be another translation issue. As much fun as I had reading this, my laughter trying to imagine that moment did break my immersion somewhat.

[LaLia]

Okay, I'm slowly catching up with your writing. I liked this one. It begins quite harmless. I even forgot for a moment that I was reading rape fantasy and thought I was just reading a road trip story with three Swedish women. I think the crazy cult is always a great setting for stories like this. If you are deep into believing supernatural ideas, even human sacrifice can become something you do out of the goodness of your heart in an attempt to assuage demons and vengeful gods. It's a great setup.

Assuming that part two wasn't the end yet, I would like to see more individual reactions from Linnea, Emma and Stina. Up to this point, these three are not registered as individuals in my mind but just as "the three Swedish girls", a collective. I could for example see one quickly give up and resign herself to her fate, one struggling like hell and the third one experiencing unwanted arousal (I know, neither your nor my favorite trope, but I would consider it to distinguish how these three experience their rapes). A bit more individual personality I would like to see.

And then I assume that this was again translated by AI from German? If so, the translation is much better than it was in Unhappy New Year but I think it still drags down the quality of the writing here and there. There is small moments like this one

Emma closed her eyes and hardly dared to breathe when he met her for the first time.

which should probably say "hit" instead of met. I assume that here the German "trifft/traf" was wrongly translated by the AI. And then there is a moment that was just hilarious to me:

It took a moment before the three young men who were taking the women by the fire gasped and apparently climaxed almost simultaneously, spurting their semen deep into each other's bodies.

I'm pretty sure these men did not withdraw from the women just before climax so that they could shoot their cum into the rapist next to them. And I don't know what went wrong there, but I suspect this to be another translation issue. As much fun as I had reading this, my laughter trying to imagine that moment did break my immersion somewhat.

I think I still need to add the comedy tag.

I think it was the same problem here as with the other story, which made me try using Word Translate.

I'm not going to want to write in English anymore. I really hope it was just Word.

And yes, there will be more personal stuff coming. However, I'm missing someone here who hasn't commented yet....@Vela Nanashi Where are you?

[Vela Nanashi]

I am sorry that this comment of mine may lack in quality, I am not entirely well health wise still, and very tired, but I will try to capture moments and stuff as I read.

Chapter 1:

Old friends on a trip to try to discover ones roots, at least one of theirs.

An out of the way village, with a castle, wonder if that has any dungeons in it...

Suspicious old woman wondering if the three protagonists are alone.

Good capturing of senses, I like that, can see the place and even smell it

If they are not planning something bad maybe they think these three are a coven of scandinavian witches.

They sound like they fit into that all to common blondes fantasy, that people have especially of my people Except they are more practical than that

withstanding out -> with standing out, withstanding has another meaning that I don't think is intended here

Can almost smell the fire and taste the beer too

Bit confused by: They didn't seem to be there Unfriendly. But... aloof.
They didn't seem to be unfriendly, but aloof. Is how I chose to read it, hopefully that is right.

The alcohol might be making them ignore those feelings that something is wrong.

You paint beautiful pictures of the place.

It may be way too late to get out of there now, but I suppose it may be worth trying at least. Also probably impossible when drugged.

Seems to be some sort of fertility ritual so far, it is the right time of year for it after all, to help spring along and bring life fully back after the end of winter.

Don't like death in stories, even if I sometimes use it to, but I will finish reading it, but it does push me away. Not a fertility ritual at least of a kind I like.

She became a panic feeling - is a bit clunky, She felt panic rising, she felt a panic building, she felt panic (possibly better variants too)

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Chapter 2:

which had obviously been made to fix it ?

Poor Stina, both her position and then getting fucked like that in her throat.

Was unclear if Emma also had a ring gag, should not be that hard to breathe wearing one, but maybe there was another gag in it that was pulled out before his cock replaced it.

Much like death I don't like things that leave visible marks on people like that whip seems to, but maybe those are superficial.

Speaking of men Otto, and Henry then gender In her long years of life... her vitality (I think translator messed up gender there)

Also yeah cult, sacrifices, etc, not really my thing at all.

Also although there are supernatural elements that I do like in this story, and vivid descriptions. It is too close to the real world for me, I know that will be true for 99% of stories on this forum, so don't take it as a bad thing. I am not drawn to this world as much as other places, and less so when it involves closer people and things to where I live. I am weird I know...

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Like Shocker I love ring gags too, and when not a cock is there one could always shove down a dildo to plug it. You can make loud sounds when the ring gag is not plugged, and you can breathe in them, but it is true you can't make intelligible sounds, and mouth and throat will tend to get dry.

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As for continuation of story, I may try to read more, but the whole sacrifices stuff is not really compatible with me.

Also I think it would be easier to sink into the characters for me if they were in first person present time, for their individual scenes, that would give us that trapped feeling and limit our senses to theirs.

However I am not sure I want to inhabit them, they seem like they will be sacrificed too based on the lore of the setting.

That is all for now, and I am sorry if I come off whiny, I think your writing is good, even mangled by the translator. You paint amazing pictures and include other senses too, I like that a lot, so keep up the good work.

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